Gundam Wing Evil 3: ARCHFIEND
by Nuki Yin
Summary: Quatre & the GW Boys realize that escaping from Lemur City WON'T be easy.... especially with a crazed Trowa and a mutant giant called the ARCHFIEND trying to kill him-- not to mention HORDES of zombies infesting the city. CHAOS is STILL ENSUING.
1. Gundam Wing Evil 3: ARCHFIEND

**Gundam Wing Evil 3:**

ARCHFIEND 

**Fanfic by Nuki Yin**

**Characters by ****Sunrise******

**Story & setting inspired by CAPCOM**

**Quatre's voice over:**

**_(Oh dear, where do I start?) Oh yeah!  It all started at the _**_Parasol_**********_Mansion_****_.  My comrades and I managed to escape the nightmare of the mansion and learned the vast and detestable secrets of the Parasol Corp._**

****

**_            However, it didn't end there.  When we tried to warn everybody of the dangers of Parasol and what lurks in the mansion, the Chief laughed at us. He called us a bunch of 'weak onna-like sissies' and kicked us out of the force. Come to find out, the Police Chief was behind the WHOLE thing! _**

****

**_            (First our Captain (Zechs in GWE pt1) now the Chief of the LPD.  It was hopeless!)_**

****

**_            Eventually the remaining members of Preventers decided to take matters into their own hands. _**

****

**_ They left for _****_Asia_****_ because some OTHER company called Umbrella took up the European location!  Talk about NO originality!  _**

****

**_            But, I decided to remain here and pack up more of my stuff (designer suits, cars, cookies…. y'know the important things).  _**

****

**_I also wanted to spread the word about Parasol (one more time), before things got worse….._**

****

**_BUT they did. Zombies are all over the city!  If only the people listened to us, they wouldn't be suffering…_**

****

**_Oh well, that's not my problem anymore.  I have to make my last departure._**

**Quatre voice over ends.**

Chapter 1. Old city. New badass.

**6pm.********Lemur********City****, Uptown Area.  **

A quiet alleyway is suddenly engulfed in flames and flying debris.  A lone figure crashes through a building window and lands in a graceful crouch.  Quatre Raberba Winner, former Preventers' Medic, stands up from this position and continues to walk away from the MASSIVE destruction he had caused.

The Noble Medic has learned a few new tricks hanging with his superiors from his encounters in the Parasol Mansion.  He can heal. He can kill.  He can survive. 

Quatre stalked out of the alleyway. He found himself surrounded by a dozen undead freaks in the parking lot.  

The Young Blonde takes a deep breath and goes off.

He runs up to the first zombie in front of him and punches it through the chest!  As the zombie hobbles backward, Quatre slings it into a couple of zombies behind him.  All three go flying across the hood of a car.  

Quatre takes his iron-knuckle gloved hand and back fists another oncoming zombie through the eye.  He, then, mule-kicked it through the leg.  Before the decayed jerk hit the ground, Quatre dropped down and sweep kicked its head off.

The dead head, then, goes rolling towards another zombie, approaching Quatre, and trips him.  After a quick chuckle, The Baby-Faced Terror flips into the air.  He lands upon the creature's head, smashing it all over the street.

Quatre takes out his magnum and shoots the two remaining zombies, from before, emerging from the side of the car.  Finally he fires a few more rounds into the car's hood---causing another explosion—more chaos.

He looks around.  Despite the fact Lemur City is in shambles, this particular area (that Quatre's in) is safe.  He fixes his clothes and walks off.

_I think I'll head to the Downtown Area.  Perhaps I'll pay that TRAITOR Chief a visit._  Quatre plots in his mind, gun in hand...

(Quatre…????  Is that YOU?!??!)

**6:43pm.**** Somewhere in ****Lemur********City****.******

Mr. Winner came across an abandoned warehouse. The lights were on from the inside.  _Perhaps they have a spa...._  **(uh...?!??!) The Wealthy Winner Heir thought—more liked hoped.  Fighting undead people could leave a nasty stench.**

Quatre walked inside, wiping his feet at the entrance, and came across a familiar group of people.

"Greetings, MASTER QUATRE!!!!"  The Maguanats greeted in loud unison.

"Uhh.... hi..."  Quatre smiled nervously and waved.  _What in the name of Allah are you guys doing here??!?!?_

~~~~~~~

A few minutes later, Quatre KNEW he HAD to get the HELL out of the warehouse.  Being doted over by a bunch of grown men annoyed the Tiny Terror to his wits end.  At least the zombies didn't ask if he needed help to go to the restroom.  **GAW**!!!!

"Y'know guys!!!! Not to be RUDE or anything, but I grow tired of this. I'm gonna go head outside and take a walk---" He hurried to the exiting door.  Only to run into the human brick wall named Rashid.  "Mmmrph!!!!"

The giant Maguanat picked Quatre up, by the shoulder, and stressed, "I'm sorry Master Quatre, but we cannot allow you to leave the safety of this warehouse."

Quatre pulled away, landing on his feet, and yelled, "For the Love of Allah: We have to get out of here!!!!  WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STOP ME?!?!?"

"But Master Quatre, zombies are out there!!!"  Maguanat #20 shouted.

Quatre twitched, he was getting annoyed, "Uhm.... there's like 40 of you guys...  You are ALL armed!!!  Why the HELL are you ALL hiding in here!!!"

"We were ambushed!!!!"  Screamed Maguanat #32.

"And?!??!!?"  Quatre shrieked in ire.  He was still struggling against Rashid (more like his left arm) for access to the exiting door.  "DARN IT!!!!  Rashid!!!!!  MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!"

"I can't, Master Quatre..... I-I just can't."  Rashid stammered.  He was on the verge of crying.  "Abdul, you tell him--- OH Allah—WHY!!!!"  The Gentle Giant broke down... with a cast iron grip STILL on Quatre.

Abdul announced, "Uhm, how should I say this... we just lost the 40th Maguanat."

Quatre stopped struggling and gasped, "You mean... Bob?!?!?"

"...Yes....."  the remaining 39 Maguanats answered.... in unison.

Quatre HAD to ask, "Uhm... there was like 2 scores of you and you all managed to LOSE Bob-----let me guess..."

Rashid revealed, sobbing like a baby, "He had ALL our weapons!!!!!  We don't stand a chance!!!!  WAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

The sound of zombies echoed from outside and the 39 grown Arabian soldiers went scampering about the large warehouse, screaming like girls.  Quatre just stood in the midst of the stupidity and sighed.

            "All is lost!!! All is lost!!!!!"  Screamed a random Maguanat. 

"Hey!!!!"  Quatre exclaimed,   "That fact remains---We HAVE to get out of here!!!!" 

"NO!!!!!"  All 39 Maguanats shouted in defiant unison.  They ran to the other end of the warehouse and announced.  "We'd rather **starve** to death in here, and stuff ourselves in that Mitsubishi, over there, than go outside with those smelly undead monsters!!!"

Quatre just stared, "Whaaa...." He gave his arms a sniff and groaned, "**Ewe**… they DO stink!!!"

As ALL 39 full grown men stuffed themselves inside the tiny car, someone hit the radio switch and that annoying club song from the **'convulsing-girl-in-car'** commercial started blasting.

(Author's note: I know! I know! It's 'Days go By' by Dirty Vegas.—or something like that.  Trust me, the actual music video is even MORE weird!)

            "Hey!!!"  Abdul chuckled, "I love that song!!!!"

            "Oh for the love of----MAKE WAY FOR MASTER QUATRE!!!!"  Rashid called out to the others.

Quatre blinked, "Hmmm... I'll pass...  Take care in there!"  Quatre left the warehouse and entered the city of survival horror....

            And the music played on: _Days go by and still I think of yooooou..._

      **SLAM!**


	2. The Perfect PiggyBack

Chapter 2: The Perfect Piggy-Back

**6:52pm. South Residential Area of ****Lemur******City******.**

Thousands of hired soldiers were unleashed within Lemur City.  In a devious attempt to gather 'data', the Parasol Corporation hired mercenaries to combat the zombie menace invading Lemur City.

However, they were NO match for the millions of zombies that were once the very citizens of the metropolis.  Even the police force was now part of the zombie legion.

Basically the mercs were **FUCKED**....

With the exception of 1.  

 He was obviously The Perfect Soldier.

Parasol Mercenary Supervisor: Heero Yuy had been given the duty to command a band of soldiers... (Emphasis on **had**...)

Not that it was his fault.  To be in such a chaotic situation, they were terribly unfocused from the very beginning.

**Flashback---**

_In a small suburb of __Lemur__City__, Heero's army was ambushed by a booty load of zombies.  They were pretty feisty for corpses, probably because they had just been killed._

_One merc, named Andy blasted a zombie with his trusty handgun (the fool) and noticed his superior's situation.  "Sir!!!!  There's a---"_

_"Gwooooar!!!!"  Yelled a zombie.  _

_(Oh dear that handgun didn't seem quite so effective----DUH!!!) _

_The ghoul grabbed Andy's arm and began to chow down._

_            "Eyagh!!!!!"  Shouted Andy._

_            Heero turned around and spotted Andy.  Taking out his automatic shotgun, he blasted at both the zombie and Andy.  "Next lifetime, pay attention."  Heero uttered coldly._

_            It was totally necessary to kill Andy and ANYone else who got bitten by a zombie.  The madness spreads to the victims as well.  As of now there is no cure.  Besides, the less mercs, the more money... Heh, heh..._

_            "Yeah!!!  You tell him!!!"  Spoke a voice from behind._

_            "Hn?!?!?"  Heero quickly turned around and saw nothing but the carnage of battle._

_            "Supervisor!!! Your back, there's----- AAAAAAAAAAAAAck!!!!!"  Hollered a dying merc named Stevie.  He got mauled by a gang of cheerleader zombies._

_            Heero, once again spun around. This is becoming tiresome, quick. There were a couple of zombies heading his way.  The Perfect One fired at the monsters with his devastating weapon.   After they were wasted Sergeant 01 yanked a grenade (Funny I don't remember packing those??!!?) from his backpack and tossed it at Stevie and the zombie cheerleader squad._

_            As Heero continued to fight for his all it was worth, more of his comrades continued to goof off and get killed.  _

**---End Flashback**

Heero **did** think it was odd at how they would always focus 'him' in particular rather than the snarling undead creep approaching them.  

BUT, it didn't matter anymore--- they were all dead.  More money for him in the end, and he had EVERY intention to make it to the end.

Heero was now walking down the corpse filled streets of the uptown area.  Fortunately, they seemed to have been 'dealt' with as to prevent 'zombie' resurrection.... or whatever.  He relaxed a little and continued to stalk through the plaza area.  He spotted a sign that mentioned a nearby restaurant.  

_How far?_ Heero thought looking past the sign.  

Try around the corner.

"Hn...." he was relieved.  Heero may be 'Perfect', but he gets tired and hungry like anyone else... 

To add to more complications, his back was KILLING him.  It felt like he was carrying Death upon his shoulders… and spine.  His legs ached.  His whole body was just—MISERABLE! If he were to get confronted now, he'd probably be in a fix... MAYBE even annoyed!!!!

            A while back, past the Residential Area, he could've sworn he heard something or someone moving upon the rooftops of the buildings over him.  Whatever IT was Heero did NOT want to run into it right now.  He made haste towards the restaurant.

Soon as Heero approached the restaurant; he realized what may be the cause of all his bodily woes...

_This backpack.  It's so frigging heavy.  This can't be good for my back._  He figured.

He reached back and grabbed----

"Hey!!!"  Shouted a voice.  "Watch your hands, buddy!!!!

Someone or something's on his back!!!!

"HUH?!?!?!"  Heero panicked, instantly flipping the 'creature' off his back. "Oh shit!"

**SLAM!!!!**

Heero, upon sight of whatever, reached for his automatic shotgun---- unfortunately it was empty.  He reached back for his shells…. "My shells?!?!?  Where's are my----"

"Here!"  The sneaky stranger smiled, handing Heero the shotgun shells.

"Y—y-you!!!!"  Heero shouted.  He snatched the shotgun shells from the merc and continued to yell... incoherently.  "W-hat?!?! When?!?!?  The fuck?!?!?  Y-YOU were on ME!?!??!?!"

"Yes!!!"  The French Braided Stranger smiled. "I was enjoying the piggy-back until YOU decided to get all…. FRSIKY!"  

Heero kept searching for his backpack.  "H-how the HELL did you get on my back?!??!?  Where's my backpack!?!?!"

The strange fellow stood up and removed his backpack, "You can have mine!  You've been using it for the longest..."

"I-I have!!!?"

"Yeah, Mr. Groper-Man." The Violet-Eyed Oddball glared.

Heero was still aghast, "ME?!??!  You were on my FUCKING back, you moocher!!!"

            "Uh….. Correction: My name's Duo Maxwell. AND YOU were MOOCHING off of me----Sgt. Freak-Nasty!"

            Heero protested, "How DARE you call me names?!?! Look, I DIDN'T mean to touch---"

            Duo added, "You mean grab?!  Molest---" The Braided Soldier proceeded to mention out loud.

            "SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP, BAKA!"  Heero shouted, actually raising his voice.  "I'm sorry I did that---- I REALLY AM."  He really wanted to get off this 'odd' subject.  He just couldn't believe that he was carrying a grown man on his back!  Heero figured to change the subject and fast, "My name is Heero Yuy.  I'm supervising the mercs running around here…. If any remain." He announced all while stretching his spine.

            "I know. They were SO unfocused back there…." Duo spoke.  "I wonder what spooked them?"

            "YOU, perhaps."  Heero uttered under his breath as he led the way towards the restaurant.

            Suddenly Heero picked up an odd sound coming from one of the rooftops.  It was the sound of a mercenary screaming perhaps his last.  Then an ominous roar followed the scream:

            **"GWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!"**

            Duo panicked, "W-what the holy hell was that?!?!?"

            Heero tugged Duo inside the restaurant.  "Oh, I don't know: Something capable of kicking our asses.  Get inside, Doofus!"

            "That's Duo!!"

            "What-EVER!"

            **7PM.**** Downtown area ****Lemur********City****.**

            Quatre walked through the back alleys of the downtown area. He came across a new weapon laid across a fellow (and now dead) officer. _A shotgun. Nice! _The zombie officer wanted it back, though.  So the Former Preventer Medic blasted its head off. End story.

            Locked doors were also no problem.  Not when you're armed with C-4.  _What's the point of doors?!?_   Quatre continued to create new passageways throughout Downtown Lemur City, all while heading towards the LPD station.

            His joys were soon cut off when he heard a fellow Preventer being attacked from behind a door.  

            _How could I miss this?!  _Quatre thought to himself.  Knowing he didn't have time to set up the C-4, Quatre just kicked the door down.  He found himself at the rear area of a local bar.  He also spotted his comrade in danger.

            It was helicopter pilot Wufei Chang holding off a zombie with a handgun.  The Nagging Pilot was continuously pelting the ghoul with tons of bullets from his handgun (well, THERE'S the problem ...).  NONE of which was phasing the zombie as he crept closer and closer towards Pilot Chang. (Like, D-UH!)

            "GET AWAY from ME, you stupid zombie!! Aren't my bullets doing ANYTHING?!?!?"  Wufei yelled in disbelief.  "This is SUCH friggin' INJUSTICE.  Shit!!!"

            Quatre shook his head in humor, just before blasting the zombie's head off with his magnum.  Wufei didn't even see him, until then.  Sighing in relief, The Lone Pilot slid down the counter and sat upon the floor.

            "Mr. Chang!  Hang in there!"  Quatre helped his superior to his feet.  "Walking around with that handgun is suicide.  At least take a combat sword, for you alone, are best with that."

            Wufei gave a reluctant nod, "I know... I know… It sorta slipped my mind.  I wanted to diversify weapon usage…  MY BAD." He took a few more deep breaths before speaking again, "Listen to me, Rookie.  There's something out there looking for us Preventers. I think it wants to kick our ass. There's NO escape!!"  Wufei broke away and headed towards the rear exit.  

            "Wait, Mr. Chang!!!  WHAT is after us?!!" _WTF is he talking about?!  Just blurting odd shit like that??!_

            Wufei spoke, "It's the ARCHFIEND!!! It's coming!!!  And it's after ALL of us.  We have to get out of here before it's too late!!!"  He took off. "There!  Is that GOOD enough info.  _Why don't I go to the last chapter and tell you the frigging epilogue, Him-Bo!_

            "Uh… sure." _He's probably heading towards the police station.  Maybe he wants a piece of the Chief…._  Quatre figured.  _Hmm…  Is it JUST me or does Pilot Chang and the Chief look alike?_

**            (Author's note: uh…. This AU setting for sequels is BOUND to bite me in the ass….)**

            _I better go and back this fool up, before he gets killed.  Handgun carrying moron…. _Quatre looked around the bar and picked up a couple of healing herbs and took off towards the police station_.  I mean he sucks WITH the sword as well…. And anything else capable of harm…._


	3. The ARCHFIEND Cometh!

**Chapter 3.  The ARCHFIEND Cometh!!!!**

**7:05**** Inside the Café Chitterling. ****Lemur********City****.**

            Heero searched around the restaurant. His gun was ready to unload upon ANYTHING undead.  MEANWHILE Duo was busy in the pantry area trying to open cans of food with his bare hands…and only set of teeth---

            "OW!!!!"  Duo whined, throwing the can over the counter into the guest area.  "Damn that tin contraption!!!"

            Heero turned around, upon hearing Duo, just in time to catch the can. He read the can label: _Satanic Pete's Billowing Nuclear Brimstone Chili (**now with goat meat and lard!). "....dear gawd...." Heero cringed.  "Duo, do you know what this IS?!" he asked, a tad startled.**_

            Duo emerged from the pantry and shouted, "Yeah!  It's food!!"

            "Oh, really?"  The Blue-Eyed Wonder continued to read the ingredients. It read like some voodoo grocery list.  He, then, found himself even more horrified when he read the warning label: 

**Do not**** keep in the reach of children AND adults.  **

**Do not**** open OR keep can near heat, cold or room temperatures.**

**Keep away**** from open air. **

**Do not**** place can on metal, glass, plastic, or wooden surfaces.**

**Do not**** inhale smoke that emerges from can upon opening.  **

**Stay away**** from the flames that emerge from the can upon opening. **

**Always**** wear protective eye and face gear in order to prevent retinal and nasal damage from fumes**… etc.  

"What the….**FUCK**?!?!" Heero uttered to himself.  "Is this edible?"

            "Don't be a snob, man, it's FOOD!!!"  Duo yelled while digging around for a utensil.

            "More like itching, burning, agonizing, intestinal **death**.  Duo----this can is…. **Hot**??" Heero placed the burning can upon the dining table next to a candle and glass fixture.

            The candle started to melt and the glass began to crack….

            "Hn?!?" Heero backed away.  "Is there a fire extinguisher?  I think this can's going to detonate. No really."

            Duo ignored Heero for his tummy growling, "There's GOT to be a can opener SOMEWHERE!!!"

            Heero ran over to Duo, who was still in search of a can opener.  "Hn… I'd give you **MINE**, but it was in my backpack, **you** so kindly decided to replace."

            Duo turned around and glared at Heero.  He grumbled, "You **lie**!!!"

            Heero leaned against the counter and smirked, "Along with some rations that **DID** **not** need a can opener…"

            "Grrrr!!!! RUB IT IN, WHY DONTCHA!?"  Duo felt like an ass now.  He turned around and walked off… possibly towards pantry again.

            Heero continued to smirk until he heard an even deeper growl from the pantry area:

            **"GRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRROOOOOOAR!!!!"**

            "Oh shit!"  Duo yelled scampering from the pantry.  "Let's get the fuck out of here!!!"

            He zoomed past Heero and left out the door.  Leaving him to deal with…. The ARCHFIEND!!!!

            Heero backed away from the lumbering beast.

            A **HUGE,** freakishly-**UGLY** bald, humanoid garbed in black stomped out of the pantry. It stood about 9 feet tall, but moved like it wasn't a thing.  Half its face was stitched on leaving this beady yellow- glowing eye to glare at Heero, a mere 4 feet below.  His **MAMMOTH** arms simply shoved shelves and parts of the walls aside as he stalked towards the Perfectly Terrified Soldier. His mouth, or the gaping razor-teeth filled hole on his face, opened to release an ominous roar that deafened Heero's ears.

            **(Author's note:  Heero can sit in the cockpit of an exploding Gundam---but he can't tolerate loud noises-----WTF am I writing?!??! OOC indeed!!!)**

            "Hn!!!"  He groaned covering his ears…. Therefore dropping his weapon of choice.  He staggered back and tried to shake the ringing out of his ears----

            The ARCHFIEND burst into speed, heading towards Heero.

            "Huh?!?!?"  Heero gasped.  He didn't see the running part, he just noticed the ARCHFIEND now in front of him by mere inches!!!!  "Oh **SHIT**---"

            Heero managed to dodge the first swing, and countered with his own.  He punched the ARCHFIEND DEAD in his gut…… "Hn??!"

**            It DID NOT PHASE IT!!!!**

            **_BULLSHIT_****_!_****GAWDAMMIT!!! That's crazy! It worked before!  I know it!  Heero rationalized.  **_WTF?!?!_****

            Since Heero's attack was NOTHING the ARCHFIEND decided to make the next brutal move. He grabbed Heero by the fucking waist and lifted him off the ground.  **"ONE!"**  He roared----- blasting Heero in the face with some monstrous halitosis.  He began to squeeze the boy's insides.

            "Oh….. Gawd…..I-I- can't...LOOSE-----ungh!!!" Heero had NEVER found himself so helpless in all his life.  He was too small to reach the creature, and possibly smash that ONE frigging eye.  This BIG fucker was playing around with him and there was NOTHING Heero Yuy could do?!?!?

            **RE-Enter: Duo Maxwell…**

            Duo stormed back in the restaurant.  He figured Heero would've already dealt with the freak by now----EH, WRONG!!!  Seeing his newfound friend in danger, Duo had no choice but to put his soldier training in to action:

            **"Booyah-yah BITCH!!!!!!"**  The Braided Wild Thing shouted just before he picked up a dining chair and smashed it into the ARCHFIEND's leg.

            The ARCHFIEND didn't care about such simple things and threw Heero into Duo.  **SMASH!!!!**  Both boys went flying through the restaurant doors.  They slid into the empty street.

            Heero was still pretty messed up from nearly being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste, he actually just laid there groaning in pain. Duo tried to move him, but it only seemed to hurt Heero even more.

            "Fuck!!"  Duo cursed. He lightly shook him. "Heero??!?  Heero?!?!" 

            "….____________"  Heero had lost consciousness.

**"TWO!!"** The ARCHFIEND was roaring mad and stomping towards the both of them.  Duo was all alone. The Soldier of Death WANTED to run and hide, but couldn't leave his injured, NOW unconscious new alley behind.  He knew it was up to him to fuck this mutant freak up!

Duo stood up and whipped out his AK-47.  "You done messed up now!  DIE!!!!"  He emptied the powerful weapon upon the ARCHFIEND.  The wide spray of bullets totally decimated the front of the restaurant.  ALL of it hit the ARCHFIEND, which basically pissed it off.  The beast kept stomping towards Duo growling!!!  "Oh my damn!!!"  Duo uttered in shock.

**"TWO!!!"**  The ARCHFIEND roared as he punched the weapon out of Duo hands.  He grabbed at the boy's head.  Duo jumped back, he got the DAMN braid and hauled the Long–Haired Baka up.

"AAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAH!!!!"  Duo hollered, kicking and struggling for dear life.  **"DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING HAIR!!!!!"**  He snatched out a combat knife, from his belt and stabbed the ARCHFIEND in the hand, like, a dozen times before, blue blood spurted everywhere and the beast yelled in ire.  The ARCHFIEND slammed Duo into the ground next to Heero.   

"I WON'T MAKE THIS KILL EASY—**ASSHOLE**!!!"  Duo growled before lunging after the ARCHFIEND, slamming his whole body into its lower area---knife in hand.  **"DIE!!!! DIE!! DIE!!"**  Duo screamed as he speared the knife in the ARCHFIEND'S gut.

Both the ARCHFIEND and Duo went crashing through the bullet-riddled walls of the restaurant.  The creature landed on his back----with Duo on top of him---KNIFE still lodged into its gut.  Between the weight of Duo and the fall, that knife was pretty lodged into the ARCHFIEND, and after a few strained roars it stopped moving….

Duo climbed off of the ARCHFIEND and looked in amazement.  "Whoa shit!!!  I killed it!!!?"  He walked over to its head and took a closer look (true horror movie idiocy).  Its eye was closed.  Blue stuff was still oozing out of its deep wound.  "Oh man!!!  This thing is OOGLY!"

**"TWO!!"**  The ARCHFIEND DID NOT appreciate rude comments and made sure to let Duo become aware of this.  Launching a huge fist up into the air, he served Duo an uppercut in the stomach, sending him flying through the air and back out into the street… next to Heero.

            "I……..I……didn't……like that…..at……. all____________" Duo passed out, next to a now fully awake Heero.

            The Perfectly Fine Soldier sat up just as the ARCHFIEND started to get up.  Heero snatched the bloodied combat knife out of Duo's limp hand and threw the weapon into the can of Satanic Pete's Chili which happen to be sitting upon the now enflamed table RIGHT behind the ARCHFIEND.  The second the blade touched the volatile can, it exploded! 

**KA-BLOOO-OOOO-OOOO-WEEE!!!** The impact of the explosion sent the ARCHFIEND flying across the street over Heero and Duo and through a building on the other side.

            The Messy Haired Psycho staggered to his feet and groaned in sheer agony, "Hn…… (ow!) Mission….. Uhhhhhh…….__________"  Heero collapsed and passed out again.

            **7:45****PM.********Lemur********City**** Police Station. ****Downtown********Lemur********City****.**

            Quatre finally arrived at his destination.  The Former Whiney One was really looking forward to finding the Chief---and kicking his bloody ass for all it was worth.  It was because of him that the city was reduced to a zombie playground.  The Blonde Cutie looked around the front of the police station only to see dozens of his fallen comrades.  He uttered a few words of luck to them in the afterlife before he decided to carry on….

            "UUUUUuuuuuuuuUUUUUuuuuuRGH!!!"  Sounded a zombie cop RIGHT behind him.  

            It seems like they had other plans that didn't deal with an afterlife.

            "I suppose this is the way it has to be, my friends…." Quatre sighed in sadness…. Just before turning around and spin kicking the zombie in the face—knocking his head off. "Please forgive me."  He concluded as he ripped the now headless zombie's arm off and smacked another oncoming ghoul in the head.

            As the unfortunate dead guy staggered backwards, The Pacifist (ha!!) ran up its chest, leaped off its head----breaking it neck---and air kick another zombie cop in the face.  He landed upon a zombified police dog, crushing it entirely under his reinforced Nikes.

            Quatre gasped as he stared upon the bloody mess under his feet, "Oh no, Blitzen!!!  The Police Dog ----HIYAAAAAH!!!!"  The Blonde Badass shot his palm upward, snapping a traipsing zombie's neck.  

            Suddenly Donner, the Other Lemur City Police Dog ran out from around the corner snarled at Quatre.  He took out his Magnum and got ready to shot.  Donner got ready to leap into the air and------

            Died like a bitch, when Wufei jumped out behind Donner and slashed her in half with his sword.  The two halves landed on opposite sides of the Preventers with a bloody thud!

**            Plop!**

            **(Okay….. so I was wrong---shut-up!!)**

"Onna bitch!!!"  Wufei snapped and he put his weapon away… somewhere (?!?!).  He turned back to Quatre and asked, "Are you alright, kid?"

            "Yes…..  I can take care of myself, now. Thanks."  Quatre assured his superior.  

            "So glad to hear it.  Because I have NO intentions on saving your ass through this fanfic."

            "… (Fanfic, what the devil is that?)" Quatre was puzzled.

            "Uh…..Never mind----Let's go."

            They both headed towards the Police Station when suddenly----

            **SQUEAK-Ah!!!! **

            (**WTF?!!!)**

            Something or someone decided to make a grand appearance... with a most CURIOUS sound.  The Former Preventers quickly turned around and found themselves face to face with…..

            "Trowa?!?!?!!?!??!?!?!"  The both exclaimed.

            There was Trowa Barton, Preventers Demolitionist.  He was quiet, which wasn't odd.  It was the fact that he was dressed in all black form-fitting, shiny, vinyl (hence the squeak) outfit, that made Quatre and Wufei think otherwise. This outfit was OFF DA CHAIN: it was laced up with straps and buckles from the collar, to the very end of the thigh-high, shiny boots which appeared to be steel-tipped and possibly steel-toed as well, (for hi-quality ass-kicking).  His shiny black gloves were garbed with diamond and Gundanium knuckles….

            Despite Trowa's new and quite creepy (more like kinky) appearance, his Unibang seemed the same along with his facial expression (utterly blank).  But his eye… the one NOT cloaked with his hair looked all-weird.  It was golden… ZERO System Golden.

            Before Quatre could sense what Trowa's malfunction could be---The Lanky Boy began to stalk towards them… lightly squeaking the whole way….

**(squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak….)**

            "Uh…..  Trowa…?" Quatre called out.  "W-what's wrong, Friend Trowa……?"

            Wufei staggered back, "This…. does **NOT** look good."


	4. Silenced Fury UNLEASHED!

**Chapter 4. Silenced Fury UNLEASHED!!!**

**OR**

**A Noble ASS-WHOOPING!!!**

**(YOU decide!)**

            **"…"  **In the blink of an eye, The Mute Killer had zoomed over to Quatre. 

            "Tro—OOPH!!!" Quatre TRIED to say something, but Trowa's speeding fist in the gut made otherwise.  "AAAAyh!!!!  No----"  Quatre managed to scream as Trowa lifted the Blonde Creampuff up by the hair and tossed him into a wall. "OOOOOWCH!!!"  He groaned as he slid down the wall.  

_Oh, man!!!! I went from mini-badass to Mute Boy's punching bag in a matter of seconds_!  He realized as he staggered to his feet and wobbled around. _What's his mal anyway??!?!_

            Wufei was beyond shocked. "Oh shit!!!  Quatre!??!  Can't you take him!?!? That was a fluke, right?!??!"  Then Wu-Bear made eye contact with Trowa, "Oh my DAMN---YIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!!!"  

            Trowa spun kicked Wufei through the police station doors.  The Dragon Pilot went sliding across the stylish marbled floor. Then he went head first, down some steps leading towards the lobby……. "OW-OW-OW-OW-OOOOW!!!!" **(CRAAAAP, man!)**.  

Wufei wanted to just play dead so the assault would end, but when he heard Quatre squealing in pain, Wufei got up and cursed himself.

            When Lil Dragon Wu-Wu got outside he saw that Trowa had the poor kid in a leg lock on the ground.  The Closet Contortionist was crushing Quatre's neck for all it was worth. Quatre was kicking and struggling to break out, and Trowa actually grabbed one of the Medic's arms and started to pull it out of socket!!!

            **"…"** The Evil Trowa smirked as Quatre's struggles started to weaken.

            "For the love of Buddha!!!!  Let him go!! You sick fuck!"  Wufei yelled as he pounced upon Trowa. Placing the Unibanged Tyrant in a headlock, Wufei pounded his elbow into the top of his head.

            Trowa released one of his legs from around Quatre's neck and launched the other of his gangly limb up (SQUEEEEEEEAK!)----kicking Wufei in the face from behind.  As Wufei faltered to the ground Trowa slammed his elbow into his face.  Then with, the same arm, he grabbed Wufei by the collar and threw him through the police station doors (AGAIN).  

            This time, Preventer Snap Dragon went flying across the marbled floors, and into the water fountain, in the center of the lobby area.  Wufei wanted to play dead, but he was under 12 inches of water, so he got up and raced back into the fight… cursing himself all the while.  _WHY!!!??  WHY??!? Must I have this sense of JUSTICE!!!??  He's just gonna kick my ass again and…INJUSTICE!!!! _

~@~

            With Trowa's death-hold loosened from attacking Wufei, Quatre managed to break free and make some distance from his crazed friend. 

"W-why are you… Trying to… kill me… I thought we were friends?!"  Quatre choked as Trowa went stalking towards him again.  "Trowa….?!?!"

            **"…"** The Tall Terror growled at Quatre.  He cracked his heavily garbed knuckles and took a swing…__

            Trowa missed, and received Quatre's fist in the neck.  The Noble of the Police Force grabbed Trowa's arm and slung him across the ground.  He slid into the police station entrance **(SquEEEEEEEEak!)**.  Before Trowa could roll over and flip to his feet---Quatre leaped into the air **(like a freak),** and landed upon the Silencer's chest.

            **"Hic!?!?"**  The Muted Assassin gagged--- having ALL the air in his lungs shot out of him. He quickly recovered and rolled right from under him.  Trowa spun his body upon the floor in order to get up, kicking Quatre several times in the process. Then he flipped to his feet and grabbed the boy by the back of the neck.

            **"Grrr!!!"**  Trowa kneed a dazed Quatre in the stomach and elbow-dropped on the center of his spine. He stood over him and got ready to step on his head----**"…!!!"**

            Wufei speared Trowa in the side, slamming him into floor.  Trowa grabbed hold of Wufei's ponytail and slung him across the ground.  As Wufei got up he took out his sword and went after Trowa's neck.  Trowa grabbed the blade just inches away….** with his hair (un-fucking-believably so), **punched Wufei in the gut and kicked him **back** inside the police station.

            This time Wufei ended up inside the lobby desk of the police station.

            Wufei didn't play dead---for he was unconscious.

            That only leaves Quatre….. Who was still trying to recover from the last attack by his former frin-turned-Maniacal-Sadist.

            **"…" ** Trowa roared with all his muted might……?!?!?! 

            Quatre felt a Zero-System attack coming on and released a creepy cackle in response. **"KYA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-EYI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!!!  I'LL DESTROY EVERYTHING!!! EVERYTHING!!! THEY'LL PAY FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE!!!  I WILL DESTROY EVERy…… thing…..????"  **Quatre went back to normal and looked around all lost.  "Huh? What was that all about?"

            **"???"**  Beastly Acting Trowa shrugged before sending his foot into Quatre's gut.

            The Blonde Victim of Ally Abuse went flying into the police station wall… next to the entrance.  "OWCH!"  He yelled as he fell to the ground.  

            Trowa stomped over to Quatre ready to smash his head into the ground with his big foot.  However, Quatre avoided the attack by rolling out of the way. He followed by kicking the Lanky Terror in the crotch. The Former Pacifist quickly got up, and clotheslined Shin Trowa in the neck---slamming him into the floor.  Quatre was not finished with his former Idolized Preventer.  He landed upon Trowa's chest with an elbow drop.  As Trowa body jolted from the impact of the small but insanely heavy Lil' Guy--- Quatre smashed his other elbow into his face….

            This knocked Trowa the **wholly FUCK** out. 

 His squeaky, vinyl-clad ass moved no more.  

Quatre was relieved and worn out.  He laid upon the ground for a short while---using Trowa as a cushion (of DOOM) for his aching spine before getting up.  He stood over his fallen and once again traitorous comrade in utter remorse.  Quatre's magnum (which he had NO intentions of using against a frin) was aimed for Trowa's head in case he decided to get up and start some shit again.  After a few minutes, Quatre decided to leave Trowa and enter the police station.

            Quatre found his way to the reception desk.  Wufei was STILL laid out across the desktop. He kneeled over Angry Lad and checked to see if he was REALLY was out or just playing.  Quatre frowned, realizing Wufei was unconscious.  He hoisted Wufei upon his shoulders, picking up his sword in the process as well, and walked into the detective's office.

            As he entered elongated room he noticed several zombies lurching towards him. Instantly plopping his disabled ally to the floor Quatre took out the first 4 zombies with his Magnum.  He was in the middle of reloading when the 5th zombie approached him.  Quatre took hold of Wufei's sword and chopped off his head.  By the time the 6th zombie got near Quatre (plus deadweight) he had already finished reloading the gun and fired a bullet through the creature's head.

            When that was finished, Quatre hoisted Wufei upon his shoulders and headed towards the other end of the room….

            In the hallway leading to the second floor of the Lemur City Police Station, Quatre managed to sneak up on a couple of zombies hanging out in the path.  He dropped Wufei to the floor and kicked the zombie secretary in the bum, causing her to flying across the floor and into a guy zombie.  Quatre raced towards them and skewered them with his superior's sword like a shish-ka-bob.

 This was getting to be TOO damn enjoyable for our Sweet Lil' Blonde Boy.

            Another zombie approached Quatre from the side, only to have the same sword ran through his eye.  Bored, yet exhausted, Quatre side kicked it into a wall next to the film development room.  He took a peek inside----It looked safe.  So, he decided to go back, pick up Wu-Tang Chang and rest inside.

            Mr. Winner placed Mr. Chang upon the desk, before locking the room door.  When he turned around he noticed a typewriter and a storage bin nearby.  _Just like in the __Parasol__Mansion__._  Quatre thought before taking refuge upon the swivel chair next to the desk.  Quatre released a reluctant sigh as he thought about the events from tonight and wondered what the hell will all this lead to.  Then he started to dread the outcome of it all.  Finally, his head dropped and Quatre was fast asleep.


	5. ALL YOUR herbs are BELONG to US!

Chapter 5. ALL your HERBS are BELONG to US!!!

**8:30pm ****Lemur********City********Arcade**** Shoppe's North Area.  **

            Heero awoke in a tiny-ass room filled with only a shelf, a typewriter, and a storage bin.  His vision was a tad hazy.  He had a killer headache.  And his tummy felt strange…  Heero looked down and discovered he had been treated… Well sorta…

            Apparently this person either lacked the proper supplies or was just an idiot.  Heero's chest was wrapped with newspaper. He also noticed the duct tape used to hold everything (newspapers, broken ribs and all) together.  He frowned when he noticed some of it was wrapped upon his flesh.  _That's gonna hurt._  He worried.  He also noticed the newspaper wrapped around his upper arm.  He chuckled when he noticed THAT was hold together with a shoestring.

            Heero scooted off the desk and went towards the door to find his whereabouts.  Suddenly the door opened.

            "Hello!"  Duo smiled, making his way inside.  "You're awake!  You feel better?"

            Heero arched his brow, "You fixed me up with duct tape and newspaper?"

            Duo rolled his eyes in annoyance, "You forgot the shoestring…."

            Heero looked down at his boot, "MY shoestring??!!"

            The Dynamic Duo shrugged, "Like, YEAH.  Dude, I'm not using MY shoestrings!"  

            Heero started to take this ridiculous medical/ home depot like wrapping off his body when the pains kicked in.  "Hnnn??!?!"

            Duo shook his head and uttered to himself, "He has like several broken ribs and POSSIBLE internal bleeding and he STILL thinks he's Superman."

            Heero growled at Duo while he faltered to the ground, "I'm no good for this mission, BAKA.  Just kill me already."

            Duo folded his arms and smirked, "Well I AM known as the God of Death.  Trust me; I wouldn't hesitate to finish you off…" He suddenly hoisted Heero back on his feet and propped him against the desk.  "Though I doubt it'll phase you much. So…." He took out, from HIS OWN backpack; three tiny bunches of herbs on a thin piece of paper: a green, a blue, and a red herb.  "I did a tad bit of … (ahem) research on the plant life here—"

            Heero glared at Duo, "Baka, you want to get me high?!?!"

            Duo gave a nervous chuckle and ignored Heero, "Besides THAT, I also heard these three herbs will heal ANYTHING!!!"  He rolled them up in the paper and handed them to The Blank Faced Terror.  "The herbs are for healing, you pot head! Got a lighter?"

            Heero continued to give the Dynamically Goofy Duo the ODDEST glare, "….Hn?"  He snatched the would-be blunt from Duo's hand and unrolled the paper.  "Got a better idea…" He took a handful off the multicolored plants and stuffed in his mouth.

            "EGAD?!??!  What are you doing??!?!"  Duo screamed. "That could've sold----I mean---err!!!  WHAT THE HELL are you doing??!?!"

            "…."  Heero the Herbivore continued to glare at Duo while munching on the herbs.  "…." _Dear gawd this is fucking gross.  Better act cool._

            Duo continued to feel nauseous.  He remembered that he was STILL hungry.  "I-I can't watch!!!"

            Heero swallowed…. Hard, making a most disgusted face. _Oh shit, the aftertaste is EVEN worse.  I wish I were dead._  Then he just sat there, STILL giving Duo that ODD glare.  Meanwhile, Duo avoided all eye contact and fiddled around with the typewriter next to him.  Suddenly, Heero hopped off the desk.  Duo looked over at him.

            "You okay?!?"

            "Hn."  Heero took a deep breath and performed a few stretches to his waist and arms, before giving the affirmative nod.  "I feel… pretty good." _WOW, that Him-Bo was right.  I feel out of sight---err.  I feel groovy-----Oh gawd, when will this wear off…._

            Duo's eyes bugged out, "Are you high?!?"

            Heero glared at him once again, "No, ARE YOU?!" _Cuz I **KNOW** I am!  Woo-Hoo!!!_

            "…."  Duo headed out the door.  "Uhm... let''s go find a way out of here, 'kay!?"

            _I wonder if he has ANYMORE?_  Heero followed Duo out the door. "…baka…."  _Gawd I'm hungry…_

**8:45****pm.********City Hall**** Entrance.  ****Downtown********Lemur********City******

            Duo led Heero towards the LARGE gated doors.  This puzzling door was bugging Duo to NO end.  It probably had SOMETHING to do with that ugly over decorated clock with the rhinestones on it.  Some of the stones were missing.

            _Who the fuck would want to steal rhinestones?!??!  _Duo thought.

            The Fully Healed and Totally Stoned Heero Yuy stared at the doors, then the clock.  The doors. The clock. The doors. The clock. The doors. The clock. The doors. The clock. The doors. The clock. The doors. The clock. The doors. The clock and finally the doors…

            Duo looked over to Heero, who seemed to be withholding a mind-blowing plan.  "Sir?  What are we gonna do about this?"

            Heero blinked and took a deep breath, "I haven't the slightest."

            (Mind-blowing all right)

            "….. The **FUCK** YOU SAY?!??!?"

            Heero staggered backwards and released a laugh, "Oh **shit**!!!"  He pointed to the ground and started to laugh some more.  "WHAT the **FUCK** is **THAT**?!?!" Heero took off running in the opposite direction towards the burning newstation.  "**DUDE**!!**! It's a bug!!! It's gonna kill ya!!!!  RUN-BITCH-RUN!!!" **he continued laughing and screaming all down the street like an **ASS**.

            The Braided Mercenary found himself giving Heero the odd glare.  _Baka Amateur Pothead_. Duo looked down at the ground and spotted a rhinestone.  _Ooh! A dirty rhinestone!!  I wonder if this piece of crap fits in this clock._  He walked over to the clock and jammed the stone inside the appropriate fixture.  **CLICK!** "Ooh Nellyville—it fits!!!"

            Suddenly the once impregnable doors began to move and access to the City Hall was available.  Duo was about to walk through and forget about his…. incapacitated ally, but then realized this was probably his fault… somehow.  (Yeah, it is… duh!)  Duo headed off in Heero's direction.

            **"Yoo-Hoo!  Pothead Heero!  Come out!! Come out!  Where ever-the-fuck you are!"**  Duo called out to the top of his lungs.  _Next time I'll just kill him. _

            Suddenly Heero's voiced echoed out from the upper floor of the burning building, "**Not by the HAIR of my chinny-chin-chin!!!!!!"**

            Duo slowly shook his head and smiled.  He continued to enter the burning building. _Oh, who am I kidding—this is some funny shit going on right now!  Hee hee!_


	6. The Troubles with Trowa

Chapter 6. The Troubles with Trowa

**9:15****PM.********Lemur********City**** Police Station.  Film Development Room.**

            "Awaken, Oh **Thwarted One**!" proclaimed a familiar voice.  Wufei stood over Quatre's sleeping form in the chair.  The Tiny Blonde Boy didn't budge an inch.  "I SAID WAKE UP!!!!"

            "Oh!!!!  WHAT?!?!?  Where??!!"  Quatre started to babble incoherently.  His little arms went flailing around to defend himself.  He finally spotted Wufei just staring at him.  "Oh, Pilot Chang----" Quatre gave a little grunt, "I didn't see you fare ANY better against Trowa, EITHER---Oh **Frisbee-Thrown One**!"

            "Ch!"  Wufei snorted, "Well, YOU were supposed to be the main badass in this survival horror spoof!!!  Oh **Ass-Kicked One**!"

            Quatre ignored The Cranky He-Bitch and got up from the desk.  "ANYway, we'd better give this station a look around.  There might be survivors, weapons, and ammo---"

            "Let's not forget the Lanky Bastard that savagely kicked our asses!"  Wufei added crudely.  "Forget the Chief!  If Trowa is running around here, he's probably already handled it. I say we payback Mr. Barton and cap his anorexic ass!"

            Quatre snapped, "I am NOT doing that!!!  I don't believe Trowa's mind is right—"

Wufei snuffed, "I'll say. What the HELL is he wearing? Did he rob Marilyn Manson's closet or WHAT?!"

            Quatre shook his head, "I mean it!  I think he's being manipulated…. Or brainwashed." 

            "I think you like Trowa a **little** **TOO damn much**…." Wufei muttered rather loudly.  "**HELLO!!!???**  He tried to kill you!!! US?!?! To hell with that Unibanged Freak!  Let's find an escape route and dip!"

            After nagging, Wu-Bear headed towards to door.  

            Quatre lowered his head and sulked, "But-But, I'm…. just worried about his situation.  He didn't look… right… I could sense trouble within him…." His voice got lower and he started to wipe his eyes… "He…. He needs... our help…"

_Oh great, I made him cry. Better say something encouraging.  Something that'll keep him from crying like a weak onna._ Wufei paused and admitted, "Look. I'm worried about Trowa, too, Kiddo.  But… we need to focus on OUR survival right now.  

Quatre lifted his platinum blonde hair and sniffled, "Then, can we help him?"

Wufei was VERY doubtful. _If we survive the squeaking onslaught that is: Trowa._  "Yeah!  We'll knock some sense into him.  Maybe we'll make him forget this EVER happen! Don't worry about it.  Stay positive!" The Chinese Pilot smiled… barely.  _Exposing warm… fuzzy… happy… side--- this SUCKS so much!_

"Thank you very much, Mr. Chang."  The Rookie smiled back.

Wufei turned and headed out the door. He huffed, "Whatever…"

Quatre happily followed after. _Wow that Wufei Chang is a swell guy!_

            **9:30PM.**** 'BURNING' NEWS STATION. ****Downtown********Lemur********City****.**

            Duo Maxwell was having a bitch of a time locating the Giggling Mercenary Heero Yuy.  Barely dodging the flames of the newstation on the way up the stairs he didn't want to be bothered anymore than he already was.  He Mercenary Maxwell was expecting this building to collapse upon both of their heads any minute.

            Upon reaching the 4th floor….. he came across the newstation's ad upon the bulletin board.  It read:

            **Lemur City's 69 Action News**

** We Cover BOTH Ends.**

            Duo snickered, "This has GOT to be a joke…. That's friggin' crazy…. *snort* …* sniff*-----KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"  Duo busted out laughing.  The station number wasn't killing him---but that damn motto… "We cover both…… BOTH…. Ends!!!  Oh Gawd!!!!  I'm gonna die!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

            It was a hysterical moment indeed…. Until….

            "Cowabungaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"  Appearing out of **NO-FUCKING-WHERE,** Heero pounces upon Duo's back and starts pounding the back of his head with a boot.  The impact knocked Duo through the manager (of 69 Action News) "**Holy SHIT!!!  Dawg!!!  There's a hairy snake on your back!!!"**

            "!??!?!"  Duo tossed Heero off.  He shouted, "WHAT the FUCK is wrong with you!?!?  That's my braid!!! DON'T touch my braid!!!"  He also noticed Heero's attire…. or lack there of.  "Uhm… where are your clothes, dude?!"

            Duo gawked at the peculiar sight of Heero the 'Perfect High' Yuy wearing NOTHING but his bikini briefs and a sole boot on his foot.  The other boot was in his hand.  Heero, now, bright blue and hazed, eyes stared back at Duo in total stupefaction.  His messy brown hair was even MORE out of place. Much to Duo's horror Heero started to dance…

            _What have I done?!?!_  Duo could only imagine what else a high Heero was capable of doing. _ Oh my gawd he thinks he's a stripper…._

            Then it happened.  Heero began to sing, but not JUST ANY ole song:

            **"It's-getting-hot-in-here… So-take-off-all-yo'-clothes****!"**  Heero sanged.  

            Duo was BEYOND baffled.  _The baka thinks he's Nelly. What the FUCK was in the HERBS??!_

Heero started dancing… (uhm…) seductively (…if that's what you call it….) swaying his skinny hips much to Duo's horror. Then he went soprano, "**I-am… getting-SO-hot…. I'm-gonna-take-my-clothes-off!"**

Heero began to remove the undies…

Duo tackled him, trying to avoid a mental scar.  "Christ's sakes!!!  Heero!!!!  This is NOT that type of story going on here!!!  Quit it---you nudist freak!!!" Duo grabbed Heero's hands and fought fiercely to keep Heero's underwear on.

The two boys went to rolling all over the executive's floor.  One fought to keep the other's bikini drawers on.  The other fought to get naked and dance like an exhibitionist fool.

The "Hey!!!  You are NOT supposed to touch me!!!  Gawd damnit No means NO!!!" Heero the Soon-to-be-Nudist went into a spastic laughing fit once again, singing the rapper's smash hit all along.  "**I-think-my-butt-getting'-big! HEY!!!** **HAHAHAHAHA!!!!**  **It's getting hot in---KYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! THIS IS FUCKING GREAT!!!! "**

**"SHUT….. UP!!!!"**  Duo shouted. He straddled the whacked out Heero, pinning the boy's hands to his sides.  "DUDE!!!!  That's the LAST time I give your goofy ass…. 'healing' herbs.  Have you forgotten about the mammoth mutant that tried to kill us?!?!  Your stupid antics are gonna get us discovered and KILLED!!!"

"Oh?!"  Heero stopped struggling.  He snorted and went back to hysterics. "Hahahahahahaha! Woo-Ha!"  Breaking one of his hands free from Duo's grip he pointed past his shoulders and announced, "What another person??  This is gonna cost extra!!!"

_OH my gawd he thinks he's a prostitute—_Duo froze_.  Wait a minute who is he talking to??!_  Duo turned around and screamed.  "OHHHH!!!!  SHIT!!!"

It was the ARCHFIEND.  He was standing in the doorway looking a tad confused at the sight of Duo on top of a half naked Heero. But then many people would.

Heero yelled, "Shit?!?!  Well, I'm not into that kinda thing but that will cost extra, too!"

_Ewe, man!_ "Shut up and Get Up!!!" Duo snatched Heero off the floor and ran towards the office window.  He took out of his backpack ANOTHER can of Satanic Pete's Billowing Nuclear Brimstone Chili (DON'T FORGET with goat meat and lard!). Duo shook it--- causing it to smoke and overheat.

The ARCHFIEND staggered back.  _Oh shit Satanic Pete!!!!  MY NEMESIS!!!_ _Keep away!!!_ **"GrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRROAR!!"**

Duo nodded, "Yeah!!!  According to Heero---This is some lethal stuff!!!!  Catch!!!"  He tossed the can at the ARCHFIEND and jumped through the window, snagging Heero along for the ride.

Luckily, the boys landed inside a dumpster filled with lots of print out and copy paper.  The ARCHFIEND was not as lucky with the can of heated doom landing in front of him.  

**Ka-BLOOOO-OOOWEEE!!!**  

The explosion caused for the rest of the burning new station to collapse to the ground.  Good thing the lid on the dumpster closed shut before a piece of the roof crushed them!

            **9:50****PM.********Lemur********City**** Police Station.  2nd Floor.  Preventer's Area.**

            Quatre and Wufie (yes, I MEANT to type that) had just left the Preventer's Headquarters.  And BOY was it a pigsty, only because a couple of the Preventers used the place as their dirty clothes hamper and trash can. 

 The only perks of being in that oversized hamster cage was the discovery of a flamethrower. Wufei quickly snatched that bitch up and was through dealing with the dump.  

Quatre went to his desk, which was not even set up yet. He was so new to the force. He was beginning to feel all nostalgic, thinking about the old gang….  He opened his drawer and discovered an old pastime…

"Oooooooooh!!!!  COOOOOOO-kies!!!"  Quatre cooed.  He snatched the shortbreads up and gobbled them down.  He eventually got up and headed towards Captain Zechs' desk.  

He spotted a group photo of the Preventers.  They were posed in front of the helicopter. Everyone was looking all hardcore and big pimpin'; guns aimed at the camera. 

Quatre could fondly remember the photographer pissing his pants afterwards when they all shouted BANG---rather than cheese.  

Unlike Quatre. 

He was smiling, cookies in both hands—TOTALLY out of sync with the picture.  _Ah!  Those were the good ole times._ Quatre snagged the photo and stuffed it in his back pocket.  

A short while later….

Quatre strolled out of the Preventer's HQ, meeting Wufei in the hallway.  

Wufei noticed his solemn expression, "What??!  You didn't find any weapons?"

Quatre nodded, "It's not that, it's that----"

Suddenly the sound of a window breaking echoed from the next room.

Wufei readied his flamer thrower.  "What or who do you think THAT could be?"

"Maybe… a cat…?"  The Blonde hoped.

"Riiiiight…… a 6'2", hairless, tail-less, green-eyed cat, with a Unibang, that's BEGGING to be roasted!!!"  Wufei rushed off.  "I'll get that son-of-a-bitch!!!"

"Oh gawd NO!!!!  You said we'd knock some sense into him!!!!  Mr. Chang!!!!"  Quatre shouted out.  He ran after him in protest.  "Don't hurt our friend!!!"

            Wufei trotted down the stairs and looked at the windows in front of him.  Neither of them were broken.  Quatre cautiously followed after him, creeping down the stairs. There was no zombie OR Trowa in sight!!  Wufei looked towards the Photo Development room—no one in sight.  Besides, there are NO windows in there.  Wufei continued towards the Detectives Office further down the hallway.  Quatre walked behind him.

            Without warning, Trowa jumped through the window across form the staircase.  He landed right behind him **(Crash!-SQUEAK!).  **He stood up and flailed his slender arms in rage and roared: 

            **(Here it goes…)**

            **"…"**

            Quatre and Wufei screamed… like onnas and went to running towards the Detective's Office.  When they busted through the doors, the WHOLE damn place was flooded with zombie officers.  Wufei didn't play—He let the flames fly!

            Quatre took out his Magnum and started capping.

            "Where… the hell did these mothafuckers come from?!?!?" Wufei cursed.  "Injustice!!!"

            His powerful weapon not only set a few dozen zombies in flames, but he also lit up the room---setting the bitch on fire.  The Lemur City Police Station was now on fire!!!!  

(Gee, thanx, NUMBNUTS!)

"Mr. Chang--- change weaponry!!!  You've done ENOUGH!!!"  Quatre yelled, punching his shoulder.

Wu nodded. He took out his sword and went to slicing and dicing things.  Quatre followed him… at a very far distance.

Quatre and Wufei were now fighting their way through flames, zombies…. And now: FLAMING ZOMBIES!!!! 

(Author's note:  No, seriously. They were flaming.  They're covered with fire and STILL walking around trying to eat the boys----DOH!!!!  That didn't help… Ah!!! Forget it!!!)

Suddenly, Trowa came smashing through the door and pummeled a zombie, just because it was in his way.  He tossed the re-dead zombie at Quatre and Wufei.  They dodged the projectile. 

 Quatre jumped upon the long desk in the middle of the office and ran across there to avoid Trowa.  

Meanwhile Wufei slung an oncoming zombie into Trowa.  With one powerful swing The Green Eyed Giant knocked the top half of the zombie's body clean across the floor.  Wufei was impressed, and **scared** **shitless** at the same time.  He quickly climbed upon the desk and scampered off.

Trowa flipped in the air and landed upon the desk…

Author's note: In case I forgot to mention: The desk is like the only THING not FLAMING right now…. No seriously…. It's not covered with flames or zombies and of course flaming zombies…. Ah!!!  I give up!!!)

The Would-Be-ARCHFIEND followed after them.  Quatre stopped running.  Wufei ran past him and headed towards the exiting door.

"What are you DOING?!?"

Quatre took a deep breath and explained, "I MUST help him."  

"Oh-kay…"  Wufei gawked at the Strange Blonde.

Trowa stopped running.  He glared at Quatre and reached behind his body, searching for something.  Oh there it is:  A MASSIVE HARPOON GUN…. 

"Huh….?!?!?"

Wufei just bolted out the door, "Fuck this…"

Quatre did the same—just before a HUGE harpoon lance went piercing through a wall right behind him.

"I…. Thought you said…. YOU were gonna help him!?!"  Wufei huffed, running out the Police Station.

Quatre managed to catch up with him, just as terrified and admitted between breaths, "I'll do it…. when he looses the ….massive weapon!!!"

Just as the two boys ran past the LPD gates, another OVERSIZED harpoon went stabbing through the ground behind them.  The boys took looked back and saw Trowa running full speed towards them---shooting the damn harpoon gun at them.

**(squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak---**

**KA-CHOK!!!!)**

Wufei and Quatre went hauling ass down the devastated streets of Lemur City.  Sadist Funtime Trowa was close behind—amazingly—still firing that HUGE harpoon gun.  This was very odd, because he seems to be loading and firing the same DAMN harpoon!!!

"DAMN that infinite ammo!!!" Wufei cursed as he went flying down the back alleyway.  

"Infinite ammo?!?!"  Quatre huffed, following his superior.

**KA-CHOK!!!!**  The SAME FUCKING harpoon went flying by… barely missing Quatre's head.

 It pierced through a wall right in front of Wufei.  He barely missed running into it.  Instead he jumped to the side and crashed into a pile of garbage cans.  Quatre ran into one of the flying trashcans and fell to the ground.

**"…"**  Wickedly Cruel Trowa grinned as he got ready to fire another (LIES!!! The SAME) harpoon.  **"???"**

Oh damn! Something wasn't working!!!  Trowa tried to reload his harpoon, but the harpoon DID NOT return!!! Trowa looked up to spot his prey(s?) and growled.

Wufei and Quatre had grabbed the harpoon!! The magical infinite harpoon!!!

(Author's note: don't look at me---it's the drugs!!)

"Be needin' THIS, asshole?!"  Wu-Wu smirked as he and Quatre held the harpoon in their hands.  "I knew I wasn't going nutty!!!  Using Infinite ammo---CHEATING BASTARD!!!"

Veeeery Naughty Trowa pouted, "**Hmph****!****"**  Still holding his now useless heavy weapon… **"…"**

"We've defeated him!" Quatre sighed, "Now we can talk some sense into him!"

"WE?" Wufei hissed, "Well, actually I was thinking about piercing this fucker through Trowa----"

The Noble of the Medical Field tugged the harpoon away and argued, "**NO!!! ** I won't let you!!! We need to talk this out!!" Quatre called out to Trowa, "Oh Dear Friend Trowa!!! Snap out of it!!!  I BEG OF YOU!!!  We-mustn't—heeeey!!!"

The Grumpy Dragon snatched the large harpoon from Quatre and shouted, "**GAWDDAMNIT, YOU STUPID-STUPID ONNA-BOY!!!  I am sick-and-tired of being sick-and-FUCKING-tired of your sympathy towards S&M Party Trowa---LET'S KILL THIS BITCH ALREADY!!!  GIVE ME THE FUCKING HARPOON****!!!"**

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!!!"**

**"…"** Trowa blinked. Suddenly a very vicious smiled grew across his face.  He lifted the harpoon gun over his head and threw it towards Quatre and Wufei.


	7. The Squeak of Terror!

**Chapter 7. The Squeak of Terror!!!!**

**10:15pm****…. Inside the dumpster next to the BURNING REMAINS of the NEWSTATION. ****Downtown********Lemur********City****.**

            "Owwwww!!!!" _My head. My whole body is killing me!!!!  What the fuck did I do to deserve THIS?!?!?_

            "Are you finally over it?!"

            "Over WHAT, BAKA!?!"

            "Your retarded-ass high."  Duo replied.  "You were **REEEEEEEEALLY FUCKED** up."

            "Who? Me?" Heero shook his head, but it was STILL dark.  "What do you mean!!!" he grunted.  "I can't see shit!!!" _I feel weird….  I feel hungry…. I feel………….MY bare ASS??!! _"Baka!!!  What's going on?!!?"

            Duo released a sigh, "Oh, you'll see…." Duo stood up, lifting the dumpster lid. He quickly climbed out and awaited Heero's departure.  "Well?"

            Heero poked the top of his messy head out of the dumpster.  "Uhm…  Duo….  I'm naked."  He stammered.  **"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"**  He shouted.

            Duo gestured, taking a few steps back.  "**Hey!  ****DON'T LOOK AT ME!**  I was the one trying to keep your clothes ON!!!"

            Heero stood up out of the dumpster, covering himself with copy paper.  He yelled, "WHAT did you put in the herbs??!!"

            Duo laughed, "The herbs… are for 'healing' purposes—ONLY when SMOKED!!!" He quoted from his sources,  "'If you eat the Lemur City herbs MIXED—it'll fuck a person up way worse than the uhh... regular brand---- At least, that's what I was told."

            Heero recalled stuffing the strange plant life down his throat--- before everything afterward went blank. He yelled again, "W-well, why didn't you stop me from eating them!!!?"

            Duo admitted, "Because your angst-ridden ass snatched the 'herbs' from me and ate them! You COW!"

            "Hn…."  Heero groaned.  He turned to climb out of the dumpster. "Let's just get out of here before this situation gets more awkward."

 Suddenly a draft blew by, and the would-be paper clothing flew away, revealing Heero's ass.

 Heero cringed.  _This is SO embarrassing. _

Fortunately, Duo had his head turned, but he had an idea of what happened, when the sheet of paper landed in front of him. "Sucks, to be you, don't it?"

            Heero snapped, "Just… shut-up, baka and give me that paper!"

**CRASH!!! **

            Duo and Heero looked towards the City Hall Gates.  Two guys went flying into through the gates ---along with a Harpoon Gun.

            "What the dude?!?!"  Duo and Heero uttered.

            They hurried towards the gates, when suddenly, they heard… 

They heard….

            Squeaking…. 

**(squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak….)**

            Constant squeaking sounding from the wall the two guys flew from.

            "What on earth is that?"  Heero mouthed….. still holding his covering up.

            Duo held his hand towards his ear, "WAIT!  I recognize that sound…..  like someone wearing vinyl…."

            Heero rolled his eyes, "Oh, now, look who's the Freak Nasty… **YOU'D KNOW!**" 

            Duo tugged at his paper covering, "Shut-up, Naked Boy! Before I rip it!"  He hurried towards the destroyed wall.

            Suddenly the source revealed himself. 

            A tall, vinyl-clad maniac stepped out of the devastated hole in the wall, harpoon in hand.  Duo froze as the Unibanged Stranger turned to look at him.

            "DUDE!!! That's ONE BITCHIN' OUTFIT---- UH……" Duo gasped when he saw that the Vinyl Freak got ready to swing the harpoon towards his head.  "AAAAYh!!!"

            Suddenly Heero stepped in front of Duo and caught the harpoon with his hands.  The Tall Creep released the harpoon and snatched the paper that covered Heero. ** (SWIPE!)**

            "That's fucking DIRTY!!!" Heero growled as he covered himself. "Hn!!!"

            The Mean Tall Guy shoved Heero aside with his foot sending his bare ass rolling across the street. The Brown-Haired Sadist, then, picked up the harpoon and got ready to impale Duo with it.  **(Squeeeeeeak!!!)**

Duo took out his handgun and fired at him chest several times. The Vinyl Villain twirled the large harpoon in front of him ---shielding himself from the hail of bullets.  Some of the bullets bounced back and grazed Duo.  The Braided Merc fell to the ground and hollered in pain, "Crap MAN!!!"  

The Silent Killer wielded the harpoon over his head ready to smash Duo---

            **BOM!!! **A giant harpoon gun smashed into the creep's back and knocked him into the ground. **(SQUEAK-THUD!)**

            Duo looked towards the City Hall Gates and saw that the two guys were probably the ones who had just saved his life…..

            Speaking of ass, Heero had just recovered some newspaper and duct tape to cover himself.  "Hey!  This crap IS good for something!"

            Duo glared back at Heero and yelled, "You asshole!!!  I was about to get killed and YOU were shopping for body wrapping?!?!"

            Heero shrugged, "I figured you had things covered."  He admitted, "BESIDES, I don't favor the idea of wrestling and tussling with other guys BUCK-ASS naked."

            Duo stood up and reloaded his weapon, "Oh really?!  (I couldn't tell from back at the station….)" he muttered under his breath.

            "WHAT did you say!?!" Heero shouted.

            Duo walked off, "Oh, nothing…nothing at all (with your freakish-ass birthmark….)"

            "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU----"

            "AHEM!!!" Quatre and Wufei approached Duo halfway and introduced themselves.  Duo did the same.

            He pointed towards the half naked Fellow Mercenary and stated, "The exhibitionist over there is actually MY superior: Heero Yuy."

            "Uh… Charmed!" Quatre nudged Wufei and whispered, "Is it just me, or do they look A LOT like our 1st and 2nd Snipers?" 

**(Author's note: Read GWEpt 1)**

            Wufei sighed, "Well, they say I look like the Chief of Police… "

            **(Author's note: Read GWEpt2)**

            Duo interrupted the small talk by pointing towards Trowa's fallen form.  "So, who's Mr. Squeaks…? Friend of yours?"

            Wufei snorted, crossing his arms, "Well, according to me: NO!"  

            Quatre lowered his head and sighed, "He used to be a decent person.  He's our friend."

            "Your friend? Decent people don't go running around, looking like they visited a bondage chamber!" Heero commented. 

            Wufei returned, coldly, "WELL, DECCENT people ALSO don't go running around looking like they just left a HEDONISM resort, EITHER!"

            Quatre was quite humored by Wu-Wu's remark. He was also surprised that the Solitary Nag defended Trowa, even in his current condition.

            Meanwhile Duo was laughing his ass off…

"That…. was…. low." Heero growled. He strolled off, paper and duct tape secured. 

Seeing that Heero's attempt at friendliness was a complete FAILURE, Duo decided to break the ice:

 "So, uh… what's your deal? You must be pretty tough--- y'know flying through walls, dealing with Bondage Boy over there."

            Wufei snapped, "Fool!  We are NO ordinary civilian weaklings!!!"

            Quatre toughened up and added, "That's right! I'm a member of the Lemur City Police Special Force: The Preventers!" He motioned over to his superior and continued, "Wufei is also a member of the Preventers!"

Wufei confirmed, "It is I who should be the one asking the questions here: Now, WHO do YOU represent?"

            Heero grunted. _ Gawd, he's an asshole._

Duo jolted. _Wow!  What an asshole!_

            "Fair enough. We were hired by Parasol to eliminate the zombies and collect data."  Heero stated bluntly.

            Duo blurted for NO reason, "Chicks like my hair! It drives them wild!!!"

            Quatre and Wufei blinked. _Where did THAT come from??!_

            Even Heero stared at Duo for the random outburst of foolishness….

            **SOMEONE** had to change the subject and ignore Duo.

"Don't give me that **BULLSHIT**!" Wufei shouted.  "Parasol is who made these zombies, that big freak running around, and possibly brainwashed Trowa over…."  He and the others looked to where Trowa was SUPPOSED to be lying at.  

            But he was gone!!!

"Oh shit…."

Duo exclaimed, "**HOW the HELL did we NOT hear him!!!!?"**

            **"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!"** Sounded the ARCHFIEND from afar!!!

            "You've seen him, too?!?!"  Duo asked Wufei.

            "I saw him WAY before we came across Trowa."

            "Hn." Heero announced, "It makes no difference to me whether you trust us or not.  We're mercenaries.  As long as the money's good I could give a fuck about who we're doing the job for." He took a glance down and admitted, "However, I could go for some form of clothing, so I'm gonna focus on **that** for the time being."  He snatched a shotgun from Duo's backpack and headed towards the hole in the wall.

            "Hey!  Nudist Yuy! Where are you going!  The trolley is this way!!!"  Duo called out revealing more plot to the story (the DORK!!!).  "Uh... oops!"

            Heero turned around and said, "We passed by a clothing store on the way here. I can't go running around like this…. I'm checking the place out."

            Quatre gasped, "Oh my gosh!!! Rashid and the remaining Maguanats?!? I left my bodyguards there!!!" He came to a solution and stated, "I know!!! I'll go with Mr. Yuy!"

            "Hn?"

            Wufei nodded, "Fine, I'm heading to the trolley.  If my theory is correct, we'll have to do some complicated, senseless, and utterly STUPID things to get the trolley to operate. We'll meet around 12."  He pushed past Duo and ordered, "Let's go, Maxwell."

            Duo was still puzzled, "Uhm… okay!"       


	8. Insert UTTER, AGONIZING PAIN Here

Chapter 8. Insert UTTER, AGONIZING PAIN Here

**10:35pm. ****Lemur********City**** Downtown Metro Area**

****

****

            Heero and Quatre stalked through the street that led to the shopping plaza.  Along the way… they came across, of course several zombies…

            All of which received a savage ass-kicking from Quatre OR a savage ass-splattering blast from Heero's shotgun.  

            As the two Zombie Slayers approached the Plaza Area of Lemur City, they heard a person scream out loud for help.  

            **"OH!!! MY GAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAWD!!! HELP!!!!  HEEEEEEEELP!!!!"  **The poor sap hollered.  Several gunshots also echoed through the streets.

Heero (being... Heero) could give a rat's ass.  

Heero took a deep breath and uttered, "I could give a rat's ass."

**(Author's note:  Y'see?)**

But NOT Quatre R. Winner (he certainly is!!!)!   "Oh my goodness!!! We have to save him!!!" He took out his Magnum and stated, "We HAVE to go that way REGARDLESS! Besides, if we save him, then we have ANOTHER ally!"

            Heero fixed his newspaper around his waist and sighed, "More zombie bait for me.  Let's do this."  He led the way towards the ominous, narrow, and dark alley.

            Quatre followed behind, puzzled.  _What's zombie bait?_

            They hurried down the dark alleyway, which was dimly lit due to the brightly lit open area at the end of the path.

            The Perfect Body led the way down the alley, but when he reached the opening, Heero froze. "Holy… shit…" he voiced lowly.  He quickly stepped back around the corner and reloaded his shotgun.

Quatre nearly bumped into him. "Hey—" He protested.

Heero turned around and gestured for him to be quiet. He peeked back around the corner and ducked back again.  "Forget about him."  He moved back for Quatre to take a look around the corner.

Quatre peered down the narrow alley and spotted the would-be potential survivor and ally staggering around---- with his brains spilling all over the sidewalk.  It was quite obvious the attack was sudden.  The man was still reaching for his head in his final movements.  His mouth was opened but no words came out, only more blood and…. Uhm stuff.  Finally he faltered to the ground and died.

Heero walked out into the open and saw that he was a fellow mercenary.  He didn't know him very well, for he was not in his team, but he kinda felt bad for him.  He was pretty good to be alive until now….

"I don't think a zombie did this."  Heero called out.

Quatre stepped out of the alley and nodded, "Not unless the zombies are armed with giant brain-probing straws…." He suddenly looked further down the street and spotted a boutique.  He pointed, "He look---"

They heard a noise: A sort of clicking, a sort of slurping noise from up above.  Quatre and Heero didn't have to look up for the details, because the creature had landed RIGHT in between them.

**SPLAT!**  The slimy creature landed.  It didn't have a mouth, more like a proboscis--- for sucking brains. It didn't really have much of a form…. It mainly consisted of slimy, green skin, covered with yellow and red ropey veins, with two yellow orbs for eyes wobbling all over the place. Giant, hooked claws took the place of its feet and hands.

Heero and Quatre landed on opposite sides of the creature.  Its nasty-ass body slime splashed upon both Survivors.  

"Ewe!!!"  Quatre whimpered.  

Heero quickly got up and prepared to fight.  "There's NO WAY in HELL I am going to LOSE to a GIANT, WALKING BOOGER!"  He got ready to fire the shotgun.

**SLASH!!! SLASH!!!  SLASH!!!**  In three quick swipes, Heero's ONLY piece of clothing was shredded. Heero Yuy was naked once again.

"I'll say it again: That's FUCKING dirty!"  Heero growled.  

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIYE!!!" The creature sounded. Then it decided to remove even more from our Nude Soldier: say his brains!  It suddenly lifted the top of its body and started going after Heero on its two back claws.

Heero opened fire.  The shotgun blast seemed to shove it back.  So, it decided to make a leap and pin Heero to the ground.  The Blue-Eyed Devil was NOT in a good position---NO literally. 

Heero grabbed to claws, keeping them at bay from his head. He crossed appendages over to block that pesky proboscis from piercing his brain.  It seemed like a good idea until the slime from its body oozed down, making the claws slippery, and therefore difficult for Heero to hold it off.  

"This… is … so…. FUCKING…. GROSS!!!"  Heero growled as the slime dripped upon his arm and slide down towards his neck.  "SHIT!!!"

"Get off of him!!!"  Quatre ran up to the Brain Eating Booger and tried to tackle it.  Unfortunately, The Eater of Too Many Cookies slid across the creature's backside and fell to the ground. "Oooph!!"

Quatre got back up. He hurried over and kicked the creature in the side, knocking it off of Heero.  The creature then focused on Quatre.  That's okay. Quatre was focused on the creature, as well.  As the creature took another grand leap, towards Quatre, the Blonde Arabian fired his Magnum and killed the fucker. It landed upon the ground, splashing slime every-friggin-where. The upper segment was decimated….

"Ewe!"  Quatre whined, wiping the remains of slime off his designer shirt.  He cleared his throat and cheered. He took a minute to brandish his weapon of choice and shouted, "GAWD! I love this gun!"  He glanced over to where Heero was and saw that he was gone.  "Heero!!?!"

He turned towards the direction of the boutique and spotted the bare backside of Heero walking off…

"Uh…." Quatre turned his head "You're heading for the boutique, right??"

SLAM!!!  Heero was already inside the boutique.

Quatre also walked in the same direction. When he neared the shop's entrance he looked up at the sign…..

It read:

FETISH FACTORY 

**(AUTHOR'S note: Don't knock it!  This store ROCKS!!!)**

Quatre raised an eyebrow over this.  _That's…. interesting._  He admitted nervously.  

He looked to the business next to it.

The sign read:

Mount Calvary 

Christian Bookstore & Gift Shop

**(Author's Note: Don't knock it! This store ROCKS!!!)**

Quatre blinked.  _That's… also interesting… WAIT a minute why would anyone put these two stores next to each----Oh, forget about it._

Quatre walked inside the fetish store. _ I hope Heero can find something decent…._

**10:49pm.**** Trolley pickup station. ****Downtown********Lemur********City****.**

Wu-Bear and the Mercenary of Death entered the trolley.  Wufei's speculation was correct—this train was going nowhere—and according to the trolley's manual: some seriously STUPID stuff had to be done before it could even move.

Wufei tossed the manual aside and headed for the controls.  Duo trotted after.  Wufei passed by a shiny wrench the side seat.

"Pick it up."  He ordered Duo.

Duo asked, all hopeful, "Will it fix the trolley?"

"No."

Duo picked up the wrench.  "Why do I need to----?"

Wufei stopped marching.  He turned around and answered, "BECAUSE: It's a Key Item!  We need it for SOMETHING!  SOMETHING to do with this trolley.  Let's go."

"Oh!"

Wufei unlocked the side door, next to the controls and jumped out of the trolley.  There was a mercenary, right outside the passenger's car, being cornered by several zombies.  He was standing behind an oil drum.

"H-help me!!!  Please!!!"  Called the mercenary in a heavy Slavic accent.  He may have been wounded, but still conscious enough to know potential help when he sees it.

Duo got ready to run to his aid and kick zombie ass, but Wufei beat him to it.  The Pony Tailed Pessimist took aim with his Gatling Gun and blew the oil drum up.

Everything within that area was obliterated, including the wounded mercenary.

Duo got up from the ground and shouted at Wu, "WHAT the FUCK did you do THAT for?!??!"

Wufei looked at the Braided Baka with puzzlement, "What?!  I killed the zombies!"

"He said 'Help Me' not 'FUCKING ROAST ME'!!!"  Duo protested.  "You're sick!!!"

Wufei looked at Duo strangely.  "This coming from the ONNA-looking boy!!!"

Duo was PISSED, "W-hat??!"  He put up his garbed fists and growled, "NO ONE calls me an…..  a…….. WHAT-ever that was you called me!!!"

The Hater of Onnas smirked, "I don't have time to play with you, ONNA!  I have to get this trolley going so that I can rescue you weaklings from Lemur City."  He turned and walked off.  "Let's go!"

Duo yelled, "Hey, BITCH-ASS!!!  Stop calling me that!!!"  Seeing that he was being ignored, Duo picked up a piece of ruble and threw it towards Wufei's backside.  "Don't walk away from me!!!"

The ANGERED Dragon Wu-Wu stumbled from the impact.  He quickly regained footing and dropped all weaponry and gear from his body.  "Now… you've… pissed me off."  He calmly stated, his back still facing Duo.

"DIIIIIIIIIIE!!!" Duo rushed towards Wufei, who was still turned around and---

**BAW!!!!**  Duo received an elbow DEEP in the gut.

"U-uuu-gh!!!"  The Braided One stammered before falling to the ground.

Wufei turned around and kicked Duo across the street and into the side of the trolley.  "Let's see what you can do, Du-ette!!"  He teased.

"AAAAAARGH!!!!"  Duo got up and took out his combat knife.  "I'm gonna cut your fucking face off and strangle you with it, Wu-Wu!"

Wufei took out his sword and screamed, "DON'T call me THAT!!!!"

"What? Wu-Tang?!?!"  Duo retorted.

"STOP IT!!!"

"Wu-Long?!!"

"Fucking BAKA!!!"  Wufei started to twitch with aggravation.  "Say something else and I'll chop that Onna-like braid!!!  I mean it!!!"

Duo skipped around him and taunted, "Oooh, Wu-La-La!!! Wu-Man, Winnie the Wu, Little Bunny Wu-Wu."  He started laughing, "Oh my gawd!!!  This is fucking great----AH-HAHAHA-AAAAYH!??!!"

"IMA FUCKING KILL YOOOOOOOOOOU!!!" Wufei dropped his sword and speared him, knocking Duo into the ground.  "BAAAAAASTARD!!!"

Both boys went to scraping.  Fists went flying.  Feet went to kicking.  Elbows were being thrown as well….

There were a few zombies in the area close by, but they seemed to have enough sense remaining, to realize that messing with them would probably be a BAD idea.

Duo flipped Wufei over his head and insulted, "YO' MOMMA!!!"

            "Your DADDY!!!" Wufei flipped off the side of the trolley and tried to land upon Duo with his feet.

            Duo rolled to the side and swept him.  "I don't KNOW who my daddy is----HA!!!"  He climbed upon the befallen Wufei and punched him square in the face.

            Wufei punched him back---dead in the eye and tossed The Shinagami off of him.  He flipped to his feet and grabbed Duo by the braid, yanking his head back hard.  

            "OW!!!"  Duo shouted.  "**DON'T TOUCH MY**----WHOOOOOOOA---Ooph!!"

Wufei tossed Duo over a nearby pile of sand bags.  He stalked over towards him.  "Who EVER the son-of-a-bitch is, I'll make sure that you meet him SOON----"

            "YEEEEEEEIYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!"  Something sounded behind Wufei causing him to pause.

            "What the fuck is that??!!"  Babe Wu uttered as he staggered backwards towards where Duo landed.

            Standing upon the trolley was a humanoid creature with red, scaly skin.  Its head consisted of a HUGE mouth, complete with tiny razor sharp teeth and two beady, yellow eyes.  It hands were tipped with long, sharp looking claws.

            Wufei backed into the sandbags.  He searched for his weapons.  DOH!! He dropped everything to brawl with Duo.  "Fuck!!!"  He swore.  He jolted when the creature jumped off of the trolley and made a mad dash toward him.  "Oh FUCK!!!"

            **"yyyyyyyyYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIEIEIEIEIEIIEIEIIEIIII!!!!"  **The creature sounded as he got ready to kill him.

            All of a sudden, Duo flipped out from behind Wufei and landed in front of the creature. He shot the monster in the face with an acid round.  The headless aberration went flying back… slamming into the side of the trolley car.

Wufei slid down the ground.  He groaned in defeat.  "I guess I owe you." He said humbly. 

Duo placed his weapon back in his backpack and grinned wickedly, "I suppose you're right."  He turned around and offered his hand.  "Friends…. Punky Wu-ster?"

Wufei Chang cringed.  He took a deep breath and exhaled, "Yes, Duo. Friends." _GAWD, I HATE THIS GUY!_


	9. Prepare for Trouble

**Chapter 9.  Prepare for Trouble…. **

**And make it Double….???******

**(Just DON'T SUE ME!!!)**

**11:15 PM. Warehouses.  ****Lemur********City******

            Back to where Quatre started from (well… almost), he and Heero returned to the warehouse where the Maguanats were hiding.

            Quatre approached the door, with a rather abashed Heero.

            "Hn."  Club Hoppin' Fun Heero Yuy sounded.  "I'll wait outside…"

Heero was not very thrilled to be wearing tight, boot-cut leather pants.  Nor was he happy to wear a reflective, loose-fitting, sparkly blue, long-sleeved club shirt, with giant cuffs, that basically hid his hands from the rest of the world…. (IF NOT for the fabric being see thru).  Heero also didn't favor wearing the steel-toed, and reinforced, leather boots. (The truth is, he looks pretty kewl, BUT Heero's used to a certain style… and looking like he fits with the rest of semi-normal world is probably not it…).  

"WHAT??!"  Quatre grumbled.  He's been going at this 'issue' with Heero all night.  "There's NOTHING wrong with the outfit!!!"

"These pants… I can't fit any ammo or weapons in them." The Angel of Destruction complained in his dull tone.  He also added, "My underwear…  I don't feel comfortable, at all, in this…. 'satin and lace'… gear… what if someone sees them-----"

**(Author's note: T.M.I.   I REPEAT: T.M.I.)**

**"AT LEAST they have a CROTCH!!!"**  Quatre remarked loudly. He soon started yelling, reminding Heero of the freakish horrors of the undergarment section, ** "And they were the ONLY pair that DIDN'T have the extra 'attachments' to them EITHER!!!" **He concluded by shouting, **"You should be thankful to find that ****NORMAL**** string bikini amongst the pile of EDIBLE Thongs---- NOW SHUT-UP!!!"**

Heero shuddered at the image.  He mumbled, "But my shirt—"

Quatre sorta flipped out again and shouted, "**HEERO!** **It's not the BONDAGE STRAPPINGS and CHAIN MAIL, WITH ATTACHMENTS, we found earlier!!!! You look like you came from a club!!!!  Now SHUT-UP!!!"**

"Hn…" Heero was STILL hesitant. His head turned slightly trying not to expose his, nervous, IGNORANT side to others.

Too late.

Quatre took a deep breath and assured Heero, "The Maguanats are NOT going to pick on you!!!  They go clubbin' too!  They'll envy you!!! LET'S GO!"

"You mean to tell me your bodyguards wear this sort of thing on purpose----?"

SLAM!!!  Quatre entered the warehouse, totally ignoring Heero's paranoid ass.

_Fucking idiot_. Quatre let his mind settle on his precious, but often-worrisome Maguanats.  

He looked around the area.  It was TOO damn quiet for having 39 grown ass, chicken shits dwelling inside.  He spotted the Mitsubishi and saw the carnage.  "OH MY GAAAWD!!!"  The Doe Eyed Freak panicked.

The Mitsubishi was in shambles. All around the small vehicle was blood and body parts.  Quatre raced down the steps and approached the car and the blood bath.  He came across several disfigured, maimed, and eaten bodies lying all over, but one was missing.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar sound.

A chewing, eating flesh off of bone sound.

Quatre hurried over towards the Mitsubishi.  He peered inside and spotted…

Bob the 40th Maguanat…. Eating Rashid, the 1st Maguanat.  

"BOB!!!"  Quatre shouted.  He aimed his Magnum at him and whimpered, "H-H-How could YOU!!!!"  _No seriously!  How on earth did you manage to EAT ALL 39 men at once?!? _ "I am going to destroy your miserable soul!!!"

Bob looked over at Quatre and took out a pistol.  "UUUUUUUUUUugh!!!"  He fired the gun.

"Unh!!" Quatre was grazed.  He went flying across the bloody floor and into the pile of Maguanat corpses.  "AAAYh!!!"  He screamed, scampering away from the bodies.

Bob crawled out of the car…. Hitting the radio button.  The radio was BACK on.  Guess what was playing AGAIN??!?1

**(Daaaays go by and STILL I think of yoooou...)**

(Who left the damn keys in the car?!??!)

Quatre winced, "Bob!!!  After ALL the Maguanats have done for you!!!"

Bob fired his pistol again shooting Quatre's Magnum out of his hand.  "Gwaaaaaar!"  He aimed the pistol again and got ready to shoot Quatre in the head.

"NO!!"  Quatre ducked, barely missing the shot.  He grabbed one of the corpses' decapitated heads and threw it at Bob.  

As Bob staggered back, Quatre got up and dove for the Magnum.  He grabbed it and turned to fire it at Bob---

"What?!?!"  Quatre gasped.

Bob was gone.

Quatre got up from the floor and ran towards the steps to get a better view of his surroundings.  That Undead Traitor was NO WHERE to be seen.  Suddenly the door opened behind him.  "Oh!!"

It was Heero.  He seemed to have finally gotten over himself and continue on with the survival horror.  This was good, but Bob was STILL no where in sight.

"This is fucking crazy!!!"  Quatre cursed.  He was frustrated.

Heero looked at boy and asked, "What happened to you?"  

"Bob!!!"  Quatre called out.  "I know your STILL here!!! Show yourself!!!"

Heero took out his shotgun.  "Hn."

Suddenly Bob appeared from above.  He was clinging to the ceiling until he decided to make his reappearance.  He even had a new weapon---correction two new weapons— Twin Sub Machine Guns.

Before the Super Ghoul could pull the triggers, Heero ducked and blasted the shotgun in the monster's crotch!!!! 

**"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!"** Bob went flying into the Mitsubishi, smashing the front window and hood.  Quatre fired his gun at the car's hood, hitting the engine---causing the vehicle to explode.

**KA-BOOM!!!**

Quatre and Heero took cover outside--- when they flew through the warehouse doors and into a wall.

**SPLAT!!!**

"oooooooOOOOOOOOOOooow—ooph!!!!"  They both sounded when they went sliding down the wall and fell to the floor.

THUD!!

Heero was the first to shake the stars from his head when he noticed, the two sub machine guns had also flew out of the warehouse, Bob's hands were still attached to them.  Heero didn't give a damn. He snatched the burned lumps of flesh off and claimed them as his.

Quatre shook his sunny blonde hair and regained balance. He looked around the debris from both the car and the front of the warehouse.  He spotted another Magnum…… next to his.  _Suh-WEET!_  Quatre smirked.  He quickly snatched up the weapon.  I wish I had some more ammo.  Suddenly he saw ammo magazines for his Twin Magnums.  

"It's like Christmas for PSYSCHOS!!!"  Heero exclaimed.  He almost sounded…. Cheerful.  He spotted another weapon lying upon the sidewalk, An Enhanced Western Custom Shotgun.  Ammo and MORE enhancements were lying all over the place!!!  "This is SO fucking cool." He uttered as he caught his sights upon a Sniper Rifle…

Quatre nodded his head, as he picked up more ammo for his Magnums.  "Ow!!!"  He yelped as he reached for the ammo.  The wound on his arm really hurt.

Heero hurried over to Quatre and examined the wound.  "You want me to stitch it up, Quatre?"

"Huh?" The Blonde Medic peered up at him and asked, "Do you have the proper equipment to do it?"

Heero looked down at him--strangely, "I have a needle and string in my side pack."

"…. And?!"

"And what?!"

Quatre gawked at him…. Strangely and said, "You need antiseptic, anesthesia, SURGICAL stitching equipment and utensils--A FUCKING doctorate and LICSENCE!!!---- NOT JUST a needle and thread---- WHAT do I look like: A RAG DOLL?!?!"

The Perfect Psycho was puzzled, "I don't understand what you're saying. Now, why would I need all that to stitch you up?"  Heero spoke. "You act like it's gonna hurt or something."

"Uh…" _Oh my gawd he's NOT human!_  Quatre sighed.  He got up and started to walk away.  "Forget it… It's-It's not that serious, we have to get out of here."

Heero followed behind, needle and thread in hand, "Are you sure, Quatre? I can-----"

"**NO!!!!**  Get away from me with that crap!!!  Did you even sanitize it?!?" He quickened pace.

"Sanitize?" Heero sped up behind him. Needle in hand, thread dragging along the ground.

Quatre was running at full speed now. **"GET the FUCK away from me, Heero!!!"**

**11:20PM. Construction Area. ****Downtown********Lemur********City****.**

Wufei and Duo are STILL in the middle of acquiring needless things to start up the trolley.  So far they've picked up a jumper cable from an abandoned car, a car battery hidden behind the mayor's statue, and a wad of gum under Duo's boot. Wufei insisted on keeping.

They were, now, in a construction area when they came across the stairs that lead to the power supply area.  Wufei and Duo walked up the stairs in hopes of becoming closer to towards their goal.

"I still don't see why I have to keep the gum?"  Duo pouted.

Wufei held his arm in front of Duo, "Be quiet!!!"  He whispered.  He heard HEAVY footsteps coming down towards them from the top of the stairs, but he saw NOTHING.  "You see anything, Duo?"

Duo looked past, Wufei's arm and shook his head, "I don't see anything, Wu-Ha…."

_IT'S WUFEI!!!!  DILL WEED!!!_  "Let's get out of here."  He marched up the stairs gun ready.  He took a quick glance around.  No one else was there, with the exception of Duo.  "I know something's watching us…"  He handed Duo the battery to place in the elevator ramp.  "Be ready for anything."

"Uh….. Huh….." Duo sounded in a frightened voice.  As the elevator moved up, it also brought the ARCHFIEND.  "Uuuhhh----AAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!!!"  He screamed and ran into Wufei, who was still staring around, in front of the staircase.

"Du—OOOOOOOOOh  SHIIIIIIt!!!!!!"  Wufei exclaimed.

**"GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAR!!!"**  The ARCHFIEND boomed.  He took massive steps towards the two boys, reaching for them with his massive hands.

Wufei and Duo hauled ass down the stairs only to run into Trowa.  He was stalking up the stairs. **(SQUEEEAK! SQUEEEAK! SQUEEEAK! SQUEEEAK! SQUEEEAK!)**

**"…"** he growled.  He took out a whip (A WHAT?!?!) and lashed it at Duo.  It wrapped around his ankle and yanked him down the stairs.

**"OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW!!!!"**  Duo yelled in pain ALL the way down the steps until he hit the floor.  **"OW!!!"**

Trowa's attention went towards Wufei.

Wufei slowly back away from Trowa.  ARCHFIEND went trampling down the stairs.  Wufei was now running down towards Trowa.

He aimed his Gatling Gun at Trowa, assuming he'd be the weaker of the two.  "I'll fucking kill, Trowa---DON'T think I won't!!!"

**"HSSSS!!!"** Trowa sounded, giving Wufei an evil glare.  He lashed his whip around the Gatling Gun and snatched it out of Wufei's hand.

Wufei staggered back up the stairs.  "Oh shiiiit!!!"

He bumped into the ARCHFIEND.  **"ROOOOOOOAR!!!"**

"Oh yeah…." Wufei remembered. He screamed like an onna. "Oh DAMN!!!" he yelled as he tried to scramble back down the stairs.

Wufie ran into The Unibanged Cretin.  "HOW did I forget about you??!!"  He sighed briefly before screaming LIKE AN ONNA…. Again.

ARCHFIEND grabbed Wu-Baby.com by the shoulders (he was SO big and all) and lifted him. He brought up his other hand---which had a pointy tentacle.  **DON'T** get the WRONG idea; ARCHFIEND was going to shove this through his HEAD….. err face!!!

Duo finally managed to get up from the floor and saw the situation was about to get ugly.  The ARCHFIEND was about to take out Wufei's face.  He quickly picked up the fallen Gatling Gun and got ready to aim—

_I can't.  I'll hit Wu-Wu (heh heh-NO!! I can't) OR that brainwashed creep!!!  Shit!!!  _

Just when the ARCHFIEND was about the kill Wu-Bear, Trowa caught his tentacle hand. 

**(!!!? What FOR??!)**

"Wha??!"  Duo voiced, suddenly dropping the Gatling Gun.  "Is he…. Normal..?"

"Tr-Trowa?!"  Wufei grunted, still in the ARCHFIEND'S grip.  "Is it REALLY you?"

Trowa looked over at Wufei---expression still blank.  **"…"**

 Just then the ARCHFIEND threw Wufei up the stairs and attempted to grab Trowa. The Green-Eyed Mute merely slung the GIANT freak down the stairs.  

**"GRR-OW! GRR-OW! GRR-OW! GRR-OW! GRR-OW! GRR-OW! GRR-OW! GRR-OW! GRR-OW!!!"**  The Cycloptic Freak shouted rolling down the steps.  

"Whoa!!!"  Duo shouted running back down the steps to avoid the Tumbling Tyrant.  

**"OW!!!!!"**  The ARCHFIEND hollered as he smashed into the wall. He was still. **"_______"**

Duo stood there and stared at the creature.  Curious Maxwell was getting curious…… Suddenly, he raced back up the stairs, he wasn't stupid.  

            He slammed into Trowa just as he was walking towards Wufei, who was still a bit dazed from being tossed.  

            **"…?!?"**  Trowa grunted.  He flipped the boy over his shoulders and stepped on Duo's chest.

            "Uh!!" Duo coughed.  He grabbed Trowa's heavily reinforced, thigh high boot—but the pressure kept increasing.  "AAAyh *cough* AAAy *wheeze*!!!"

            "Trowa!!!  What are you---" Wufei raced down the stairs to help Duo.  

Suddenly, Trowa slashed the whip, (which he STILL had in hand) and struck Wu across the neck—

            "G-HORK!!!"  Wufei choked.  The impact nearly knocked his larynx out!  He collapsed upon the steps, desperately fighting for air.

            **(Author's note: Humans DO have a larynx….right??!?  It's in the neck? Yes?!  Uhm….. Sure I knew that!!!  I didn't think it was a part of the anatomy of a bug---NO WAY!!!)**

"Listen to me…" spoke a familiar voice.  "You have to get out of the city.  He's waiting for you at the Spooky factory…"

"The hell you say?" Duo opened his eyes, as the pressure on his chest lessened.  He looked up and saw Trowa. "You—you—you spoke??!"

Wufei was gasping, finally catching his breath.  "If….. you're so …..*cough*-----FRIENDLY-----*cough*….. WHY did you attack us….?!?!"

He noticed that Trowa's visible eye was now green.  Even his face was its usual stoic expression.  It was the team's favorite Demolitionist Mute!!!  

Trowa's eyes were suddenly changing from gold to green.  This change seemed to be affecting his speech as well. "I…. Can't…. control…. My…………………. body…………….. He………… controls me now………. you have………….. to stop…………… Ca—ca……"

Trowa was going in and out of 'something'.  Duo didn't want to see who would win.  He quickly squeezed himself from under Trowa's wobbly foot and climbed up the stairs. He dragged Wufei up the stairs and onto the platform.

"Captain?"  Wufei wheezed.  "The Captain is ALIVE??!"

"…"  Trowa just stood there.  

"Trowa?!?!"

Duo pointed past Trowa to the ARCHFIEND.  "Oh shit!!! He's back for more!!" The Giant Freak had already got up from the floor and started up the stairs after… SOMEONE.  It wasn't gonna be Duo.  He raced over to the elevator and shouted for Wufei to follow.

Wufei raced back down the stairs to pull Trowa along.  "Let's get out of here!!!  Quatre can probably help---"

Trowa yanked Wufei by the collar and uttered, "Leave me here.  Make your escape from Lemur City.  OTHERWISE----aaaaaAAAyH!!!"

The ARCHFIEND grabbed Trowa by the waist and snatched him back.  Trowa released Wufei—losing consciousness.  Officer Chang raced up the stairs and looked back only to see the ARCHFIEND had hauled Trowa's body over his shoulder and leaped VERY high into the air.

"He's gone…" Wufei spoke despondently.  _The Captain….  Could he mean…. __NO WAY__!  We all saw him die!!!  Me, Trowa, Quatre, H-----_

Duo grabbed Wufei by the arm and yanked him along.  "Let's go before he decides to carry us off!!!"

Reluctantly, BOTH survivors continued on their mission.


	10. COMMENCE Operation: Ass BEATDOWN!

Chapter 10. COMMENCE Operation: Ass BEATDOWN!

            **12:05****AM.********City Hall**** Gates. ****Lemur********City****.**

            Quatre and Heero waited for a while at the gates.  Wufei and Duo had not returned YET!!!  

            Quatre took out his Magnums and sighed, "I'm getting worried… I'm going to search for them."

            Heero blocked his path, Sub Machine Guns in hand.  "What if those knuckleheads are trying to ditch us?"

            Quatre shook his fuzzy blonde head, "NO way!!  Wufei and I are partners!!!! And…..  What the fuck is SO funny??!"

            The Perfectionist walked through the gates and chuckled, "Too-fucking-easy…"

            Quatre followed after him, "WHAT?!"

            Suddenly a bunch of zombie dogs came flying through a store window, across the street. They all landed upon the street, dropping pieces of their flesh to the ground.  They spotted Quatre.

            "GggggGGggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRrrRRrRrRrrr!!"  The Decayed Mutts snarled at Quatre, before running towards him.

            Quatre blasted dogs with a Magnum round, causing their bodies to explode.  It's when the rest of the mutts got too close, Quatre went ape shit.

            One zombie mongrel jumped at Quatre, who stepped aside.  It went slamming into the gate.  Before it could slide down, The Sweet Nightmare kicked it into the adjacent wall.

            Another ghoulish dog tried to get Quatre on the low ground. Quatre flipped into the air and opened fire, while twirling in mid air, blasting the beast to another level of hell.  He landed right in front of another dog--- a normal dog.  

            He was hiding until he saw that the Peace-Loving Preventer had killed ALL the BAD evil zombie dogs.  He wanted to be friends with Quatre and love him forever and-----

            "Take this---BITCH!!!"  He kicked the dog through the store window.

            "aWOOOOOOOoooooo!!!"

            Quatre gasped,   "Uhm… sorry, nice doggy!" He waited for the pooch to step out from the debris….  "Oh dear!  I'll pray for you…."

            He turned to head through the gates, when he suddenly heard a familiar squeal.  He quickly turned around and grunted, "A Stalker!?!?"

            "YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!" The enhanced mutant crept out of the demolished store window, dog in hand.  He leaped over the mess and stomped towards Quatre.

            "Oh!!  Doggie!!!"  The Baby-Face Killer whimpered. "Don't hurt that dog!  It's ME you w----"

            The red Stalker suddenly crushed the dog in his bare hands.  Viscera and bones started plopping to the ground.  Blood began to drip from the mutant's curled claws.

            "Oh!!!  You're horrible!!!"  Quatre cried.  He suddenly felt weird….  REAL WEIRD…. Zero System weird…  **"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD---BASTARD!!!!"**

            "Yyyiaeee!?!?"  The BASTARD paused.  He suddenly dropped the dog and went barreling towards Quatre.  "AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!!!!!!"

            Quatre met the Hunter halfway and gave it an uppercut to the chin.  He grabbed one of its claws and slammed it over his shoulders.  Quatre flipped backwards in the air, avoiding a slashing claw.  

            The hideous anomaly removed itself from the ground and went after Quatre.  The Blonde Brawler was waiting with a swift kick to the crotch.  As the creature faltered to the ground Quatre flipped over the Stalker's shoulder.  Before the Voracious Oddity could turn around Quatre grabbed its head and shoved it into the asphalt.

            KRAK!!!  The impact crushed the Stalker's skull.  IT'S FUCKING HEAD SPLIT OPEN!!!

            Quatre rolled away and flipped to his feet.  He calmly walked through towards the City Hall Gates…

            "Well, **DAAAAAAAAAAMN**!"  Duo called out standing in front of the door next to the messed up store.  He watched the whole thing between Quatre and the Stalker.  "You don't play!"

            "Well…" Quatre wiped the sweat from his brow and huffed, "I have a mission, Mr. Maxwell…" He noticed Duo's… inventory….  "Why are you carrying all that?"

            "Oh?  This?" Duo placed the car tire, D batteries, nail polish, and rack of spice down upon the ground.  "These are just key items for the trolley."

            Quatre made an odd expression, "Oh really?"

            "YEAH!"

            "Where's Wufei?"

            Duo picked up all the 'key items' and headed towards the gates.  "He should be right behind----"

            Wufei strolled through the door.  "I'm here." He spoke somberly. 

            "And where's your 'key items'?"  Quatre asked.

            Wufei pointed towards Duo.  "There they are."

            "Uhm----"

            "IT WILL WORK!"

            Quatre backed away and exclaimed, "Okay! OKAY! Slow your Role, Chang!"

            Wufei stormed past Quatre.

            _What's his problem?  I sense a disturbance… well, BESIDES the norm.  He's hiding something from me.  What can it be?_

            **"HOLY SHIT, MAN!!!!"**  Duo yelled from the other side of the City Hall Gates.  

            Wufei and Quatre went running towards the gates. They were relieved to see Duo alive and well…

            "WOW!!! That looks SO kewl!!!!  I love the BOOTS!!!!!"  Duo was freaking out over Heero's new and reluctant look….

            And NOT the pile of re-dead corpses he made when a bunch of zombies **tried** to gang up on him earlier (**FAILING MISERABLY**).

"Where did you GO?!!"  Duo implored.

Wufei snorted, "A CLUB…. Maybe?"

Quatre shot a nasty elbow in his side.

"OW!!!! What did you do that for?!?!"

The Pseudo Pacifist spoke out, "So YOU were also preoccupied with 'other' matters."

"Yes…. "Heero nodded. He swatted Duo away.  "Stop it, Baka!!!!"

Duo pouted. He REALLY wanted the damn shirt.  He walked off anyway.

Heero stared at him for a minute….. oddly and continued, "You ran into trouble out there?"

"Yes, I also came across Wufei and Duo."  Quatre informed. "Are we ready?"

Wufei pulled out of his pockets; a bottle of motor oil, a glow in the dark key chain, and fuse---that just HAPPENED to be compatible with trolleys in Lemur City.

"Along with Duo's stash, this should get the train going."

Heero walked down the sidewalk, he passed by a corpse lying against the wall.  _Playing Possum._ He realized.  _How predictable._

He suddenly smashed his heavy, yet stylish, boot through the creep's head.  Its arms went flailing uncontrollably as it slumped over and died….. permanently.

The Perfect Club Kid looked ahead and saw that this narrow walkway was very busy… with hungry zombies.  All went lurching at him.

            "Let's go…"  Heero smirked.

            Just before Heero could steal the spotlight for #1 Ass-Kicker, Duo steps in front of him!!!

            "LOOK!!!!  AT LEAST let me wear the shirt while you brawl!!!"  Duo pleaded.  "I'm fast enough to keep it from getting dirty----Mmrph!!!"

            Heero grabbed Duo by his face and slung him to the side.  "Get out of the way, BAKA!!!"  He shouted as he kicked the first zombie in the eye.

            The other two zombies went lumbering towards Heero----probably digging that shirt as well.  Heero punched the one on the left in the neck and kicked him into the one on the right.  He picked up a nearby trash can and launched it at the other 6 zombies further down the path.

            Heero then took out another set of toys he found at the decimated warehouse: Twin Tonfas!!!!  "I have GOTS to try this!"  He said to himself.

            "UUUUUUURRRRRRRG!!!!"  Groaned some more zombies approaching Heero.

            "Be careful with the shirt!!"  Duo called out.

            Heero narrowed his eyes at Duo, "Gee thanx."

            "You are so welcome, dude!"

            SUDDENLY the ground underneath them rumbled.

            **RUMBLE!!!!!**

            Everyone lost balance and fell to the ground…. Even the zombies!!!  Shortly after, Quatre and Wufei came racing through the door behind Duo.  They were terrified.  Both Preventers held the door close when suddenly the door banged off its hinges and revealed the ARCHFIEND'S huge arms trying to get through.

            Duo scrambled to his feet and yelled.  He took to running…. And bumped into Heero from behind.  He was already up and back to brawling against the last few zombies with his new weapons.

            "HN-----AAAAH!!!"  Heero went crashing into a zombie, caving its chest in as they hit the ground…..

            The ground that suddenly went to **SHAKING** and breaking apart RIGHT under them!!!!

            (INSERT VARIOUS SHAKING AND BREAKING NOISES HERE!!!!)

            Quatre and Wufei were rocked to the ground, and the ARCHFIEND came stomping through.  Crushing them from under the fallen door.

            "AAAAAAAAAArgh!!!!!"  Wufei yelled.  "He's FUCKING heavy!!!"

            The ARCHFIEND'S eye caught sight of Duo.  That Braided Motherfucker who stabbed him earlier in the fic!!!  He couldn't recognize the guy in the flashy and utterly pimped out shirt. BUT NONE of that MATTERED. 

The ARCHFIEND had his twisted mind set on KILLING Duo.  Once that's done, he'll snag that shirt. _Damn it's cool.  I could probably get chicks—I'd definitely stand out at the club. I love how it SPARKLES!!! I-I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!  I MUST GET THAT SPARKLY SHIRT!!!_

            **"SPARKLES****!!!!"**  The ARCHFIEND roared.  He stomped straight towards Heero.

            Heero blinked, "Hn---What did he say?!?"

            Duo yanked Heero up and warned, "DUDE!!! He wants your shirt!!!"

The ARCHFIEND was NOW towering over the both of them. **"SPARKLES!!!"**

(Funny how the zombies soon leave the scene, when the ARCHFIEND arrives…)

            Before the mercenaries could think of what to do, the ARCHFIEND punched Duo in the chest, sending him flying down the walkway and into a door.  The Giant Freak grabbed Heero by the neck and lifted him in the air.

            **"SPARKLES!"**

            "Take THIS!!!" Quatre and Wufei shouted as they slammed the heavy and unhinged door into ARCHFIEND'S back like a battering ram.

            Of course this caused for ARCHFIEND to drop Heero.  The Beast went staggering down the walkway.  Then he noticed Duo's fallen form and roared.

            **"TWO!!"**

            Heero got to his feet and grunted, "Where does that fucker think he's------Oh my damn!!!"  He ran after the ARCHFIEND who was about to attack a helpless and knocked out Duo.  "DUO!!!  WAKE UP!!!"

            "Duo!!!"  Wufei called out.  He also went running after ARCHFIEND.

            "STOP HIM!!!" Quatre screamed, doing the same.

            Duo began to stir, as all the noise and STOMPING made their way into his brain….  _WAIT?!?!  What's that STOMPING noise?!?_  Duo's violet eyes shot open just as the ARCHFIEND was about to step on him. He sat up and screamed, "NOT YOU AGAIN!!!"

            Heero tackled the ARCHFIEND from behind slamming him into the ground right next to Duo.  The Mercenary of Death tried scampered away, but the ARCHFIEND grabbed his ankle and squeezed hard.  Wufei, showed up, and jumped upon the ARCHFIEND'S arm and began kicking the Large Creep in the head.  Quatre pulled Duo away.

            The ARCHFIEND started to get up, with both Heero and Wufei on him.  Quatre spotted a lead pipe nearby and picked it up.  

            "Stay DOWN!!!"  The Meek Sheik ordered and smashed the pipe in the ARCHFIEND'S legs.

            The ARCHFIEND roared in pain.  He also swatted Quatre into a door (leading to the trolley door). He reached back and smacked Wufei and Heero off his back like fleas!!! Both boys went flying into Quatre. 

Quatre WAS about to get up until….. "Oh…. no-----OOOOONPHA!!!"

ARCHFIEND looked over at Duo.  He growled.  **"TWO!!"**

Duo screamed.  He ran back towards the demolished door where he came from, The ARCHFIEND grabbed his braid and yanked him back.

**"OUCH!!!  BITCH!!!"**  Duo grumbled. "Take---**THIS!!!**"  He slammed his elbow into the ARCHFIEND'S groin to counter.  "**OWOOOWWWOWOW!!!!"**  **(****Mission**** Unsuccessful).  **

Suddenly the hand tentacle came out lashing and whipping around. It was getting closer and closer to Duo's face…..

Duo gawked at it….  "Yo, man----what's going HERE!!!?  LET me GO!!!  This AIN'T that kind of-----ACK!!!"

QUAKE!!!!  RUMBLE!! STIIIIIR!!!! (AND MORE RUMBLING NOISES!!!!)

Another earthquake erupted!!  The ground under the ARCHFIEND and Duo started giving in!!!  

Quatre, Wufei, and Heero were clinging to the door for support, but it wasn't safe anymore.  They had to leave for the trolley, which was behind THIS VERY door!!!  But Duo was in danger!!!

"We……  HAVE TO….. save him!!!"  Quatre stammered, struggling against the shockwaves.

Wufei cursed, but agreed.

Just as they were about to crawl toward Duo and the ARCHFIEND, Heero shoved them both back.

"I'll get him." Heero announced.  He stood up, despite the violent shaking of the ground.  "Get that trolley started."

Wufei and Quatre started to argue about team—this and team-that, when Heero turned around and punched the off its hinges and yelled, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!"

"Uh…." Quatre and Wufei uttered before scurrying through the doorway. "O-kay!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAyh!!!"  Duo shouted as the ARCHFIEND's hoisted him overhead and got ready to throw him into the breaking ground  

Heero ran towards the ARCHFIEND with the fallen lead pipe.  "**Omae o Korosu--MOTHERFUCKER!!!"**

**FWOOSH!**  Heero swung **HARD**.  

**BAW!!!** Heero hit **HARD**!

He broke A LOT of things in the ARCHFIEND'S anatomy: ribs, vital organs, his FUCKING SPINE!!!  ANYwhoo, the ARCHFIEND dropped Duo and fell to the ground.  This caused the unstable ground to finally collapse right under them.


	11. Terror on the Trolley

**Chapter 11. Terror on the Trolley**

**12:36AM.**** Lemur City. Trolley walkway area or something…**

**"WHOOOOOOOOOA!!!!"**  Duo shouted, right out of ARCHFIEND'S hands, and caught on to the edge of the decimated asphalt.  **"THIIIIIS SUUUUUUUUCKS!!!!"**

**"HN!!!" **As the ground began to lose structure, Heero began to lose his balance....

**CRASH!!!!!!!!!** Went the ground upon the underground….. uh... floor.

**SLAM!!!** The Knocked Out ARCHFIEND hit the debris-covered floor.

Then Duo lost his grip and fell...** THUD!**  Duo sounded as he crashed upon the ARCHFIEND'S aching spine.

**WHUD!!!** Heero landed on Duo's spine. 

**(Author's note: REMEMBER!!! The Super Taboo Word of the Day is: WHUD!)**

"OW!"  Heero yelled.  "You're friggin' bony!" 

"SHUT-UP, LARD-ASS!!"  Duo insulted, trying to crawl from under Heero.  IT was LIKE futile.  Duo tried to get up, but Heero forced him down. "Listen, I like the damn shirt—BUT not THAT much--- Get off! "

"WHATever, Baka. Shut-up." he hissed. "We are RIGHT on top of the ARCHFIEND!!!"  Heero whispered. "I think he's out cold…."

            Granted, the ARCHFIEND appeared to be knocked out…. for the time being.  BUT, they were several feet off the lower level due to ARCHFIEND'S large size and the ruble they all landed upon.  The objective for Heero and Duo: get off of the ARCHFIEND and haul ass.

            Heero lifted himself over Duo and spoke at a low decibel, "Okay… I'm going first. When I hit the ground, wait a few seconds and follow my lead—got it?"

            "Can I have the shirt after----OW!!!"

            Heero smacked Duo in the back of the head, "Silence!!!" he muttered. "Moron!!!" Heero was about to make his descent….

            Suddenly there was a rumble from underneath the both of them.

            Heero arched his brow, "Dude, THAT is NOT gonna get you the shirt, EITHER!!!"

            Duo stuttered, "Uh—Uh—It WASN'T m-me….. I—I-It was the….."

            **"SPARKLES****!!!"**  The ARCHFIEND boomed.  He suddenly got up----rolling both boys off of him and into a wall.  He turned around and spotted Heero's dazzling shirt.  **"SPARKLES!!! SPARKLES!!!"**

            Heero took out the other weapon he found at the decimated warehouse: A Panther Cannon!! A huge anti-tank gun— that probably doesn't exist in real life, but it sounds cool in certain RPGs (*cough* FASA *cough*)…..  what?!?

            Duo gawked at the HUGE gun.  **"WHERE THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU HIDE ****THAT****?!?"**

            Heero smirked, "Editing mistake…. In **MY** favor."

            Duo cheered, "Woo-Hoo!!!  Maybe I'll get that shirt due to editing mistakes….."  He stood there looking around.  He pouted, "**D**-**DAMNNIT**!"

            Annoyed by the small talk, the ARCHFIEND began to make his move…  He was getting that sparkly shirt no matter WHO he had to dismember!!!!

            **"SPARKLES!!!"**

            With the help of Duo, and possibly steroids, Heero lifted the **HUGE** gun and aimed. He and Duo began to pull the large trigger….

            "I got your **SPARKLES**, right here, asshole…"  Heero uttered.

            "Oh yeeaah!  Suck iiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!"  We all know who could've added that.

**12:40am.**** Inside the Trolley.  ****Lemur********City**** Trolley ---- (YOU THINK?!)**

            "You---You have to be…… **LYING**!!!!"  Quatre stammered.  He was in total shock over what Wufei told him.  "He's…. being controlled?"

            Wufei was attaching the wad of gum to the fuse…. "You know I am not lying… your…. Space Heart-thingy is telling you it's the truth. Tire."

            Quatre handed the spare tire to Wufei for him to attach (to WHAT?!?!?).  "I WAS right.  B-b-ut we should----"

            "Our mission is JUST beginning, Quatre."  Wufei spoke as he attached the tire to the gum, then he picked up the nail polish…. "I also believe that the Captain may STILL be alive."

            Quatre picked up the last piece of the Trolley puzzle…… the (**FUCKING**) Glow-in-the-dark key chain.  "**NO** **WAY**!!!"  Quatre exclaimed.  "This **CAN'T** be!!!"

            Wufei sighed, "Relax.  Trowa is a strong person, hopefully he'll be out of the mind control before we can get to the bottom of this-----"

            Quatre shook his head and showed Wufei the key chain.  It had a key on it.

            It read: **TROLLEY KEY**. 

            Wufei stared at the key.  "You got to be kiddin' me…."

            Quatre looked at the massive, constructive mess Wufei had built at the controls and asked, "With all due respect, sir----NO….what the hell is this?!!  WHY didn't you just examine the KEY??!"

            Wufei shrugged, "I don't know----I was just bored---- I wanted to build some----"

            **KA-BOOM!!!**

            An explosion from outside rocked the whole trolley.  Both Quatre and Wufei fell to the trolley floor.

            "What the heck was THAT?!?!"  Quatre clamored, jumping to his feet.

            Wufei was already up on his feet.  He peered through the trolley door and spotted Heero and Duo climbing out of the GAPING hole in the street.  "Those mercs have arrived.  Impressive.  They like just nuked South Street."

            Heero and Duo rushed inside the trolley and collapsed upon the floor.  They were out of breath and DAMN lucky to have survived nearly blowing themselves up with that Panther Cannon (owned by FASA…. *cough-cough*).  

            "Sorry for the inconvenience…." Heero huffed.

            "We used this HUGE gun and fucked the ARCHFIEND up!!!"  Duo gasped.

            "He's dead!?"  Wufei asked.

            Heero and Duo blinked.  They looked at each other, PUZZLED. _What the dude?!_

            "Well… it was a really BIG explosion…" Duo muttered.

            "I DIDN'T miss…  He's been destroyed…" Heero's voice seemed to get lower and lower. "…?" _Cover me, man! I haven't a clue!_

            _What the fuck does he want me to say?  Oh! Ohhhhh!_ Duo nodded, "After we were engulfed in flames and shot through the air… he… got… totally killed..." _Or totally pissed._

            _Excellent. _Heero looked back at Quatre and Wufei and affirmed… BARELY, "We… killed the ARCHFIEND…  Because-because, uhm… WE…. ARE…THAT………….DAMN……….good."

            "Yeah!"  Duo added. 

_Riiiiight._ Wufei just stared at them.  "That's assuring…" Wufei feigned a smile.  He walked over to Quatre and whispered an order, "Let's get the hell out of here, **FAST**."  

"Yes, sir." Quatre headed to the controls…  He used the TROLLEY Key.

            The TROLLEY is NOW fully operational.  (No shit…)

            Just as Duo caught his breath, he made a comment about the mass of stuff in the middle of the floor.  "SO?!  Why did we carry all that other stuff…?"

            Quatre looked over at Wufei.  Heero gawked at the stuff, and then looked over at Wufei.  

            "That's a damn good question, Mr. Chang."  Heero uttered.

            "Uh….  Y'know how Lemur City operates!  Stupid, Complicated things to get simple things going! Ha!"  He tried to play it cool.

            **HE FAILED!!!**

            Quatre rolled his Aquamarine eyes and kept to operating the trolley.

            Heero got up from the floor and huffed, "Sounds like **SOMEONE** didn't know what the **HELL** he was doing."

            Duo perched upon the edge of the bench and laughed, "**WHAT A DUMBASS!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"**

            Wufei snapped, "Shut-Up, Maxwell!!!  **You're TWICE the DUMBASS for following MY orders!**"

Heero and Quatre bust out laughing. Duo gave the Hidden Dragon the Standing Bird (middle finger) and stormed out of the first car….

            A few seconds later, they hear a loud sound in the first car.

            (Here goes…)

            **THUD!!! (squeak-a)**

            Quatre left the controls and raced past them.  _Trowa…._

            _Oh shit!_ Heero also stormed the main car. The need to save his 'zombie bait' was dire.  

            Wufei was about to go, but…… uhm…….  SOMEONE needs to tend to the trolley controls. _Yeah, that's it…. AVOID getting your ass THRASHED…._ _Again._

            Duo was speechless.  This happens when a person has you by the neck and has lifted you a few feet in the air.  Duo's kicking and struggling was futile against the cast iron grip Trowa had on him.  He was losing air fast.  Just a little more pressure and….

            "TROWA!!!"  The Tiny Winner shouted from the end of the trolley car.  "LET HIM GO!"

            **"Hss****!!!"** Trowa turned his head and glared at Quatre. He continued to squeeze.

_            Did he just…. Hiss at me??!!  WTF?!? _Quatre was bewildered at his frin's odd behavior.

            **(Author's note: No seriously. WTF is up with the hissing?!?)**

            "!!!!"  Duo sounded. The Suffocating God of Death became less and less obstinate.  Duo's body was becoming numb.  His vision was getting blurry…..

            "NO!!!" Quatre dashed towards Trowa---only to be passed by Heero.

            "This skinny bastard is DEAD!!!"  Heero took out a Fireman's Axe (WHERE is this FREAK hiding these THINGS??!?!) and got ready to chop Trowa down to size.

            Trowa smirked and suddenly lowered Duo and placed him in front as an instant shield. Heero stopped mid swing----- just a CENTIMETER from Duo's skull.

            "Uh….. WHAT?!"  Heero stammered realizing he almost killed his alley and friend. 

            **"…"**  Trowa kicked Heero in the stomach and snatched the axe out of his hand—by the blade.  Slinging Duo to the aside Trowa grabbed Heero by the neck. **"…"** He grinned, twirling the axe, to grasp the handle and got ready to chop Heero into pieces.

            "STOP!!!!"  Quatre screamed grabbing Trowa's lengthy, but deadly arm.  "I won't let you---AAAAH!!!"

            Trowa slung Quatre across the trolley car and into the separating door.

            Seeing the opportunity to play DIRTY,  Heero shot his leg into Trowa's crotch.

            (SQUEAK!!! CRUNCH!!!)

            Trowa dropped Heero.  He dropped to his knees and squeaked, "**Eeeeeek!"**

            The Acrobatic Psychopath was KO'ed.

            Heero got up and looked over to Quatre who was just mortified at the sight.  "Sorry, but it HAD to be done---"  Heero shook his head and admitted,  "Come to think of it, I really wish I could do more….. Y'know to harm him…. Perhaps kill him… or maim him….  At LEAST…"  Heero shrugged his shoulders and headed towards the exit.

            Quatre frowned and lowered his head.  "I know…."

            Duo got up from the floor and made haste to get as far from Trowa's body as possible.  "I got an idea: Throw his evil-ass off the fucking train!"  He wheezed, rubbing his sore neck.  Duo also headed towards the exit.

            Quatre slowly turned and followed Duo…

            **"…"**

            Quatre quickly turned around and screamed, "!!!!"

            Trowa was up and at it again.  No one had the common sense to remove the heavy-ass axe from his hands when he was out.  Without warning but with deadly intent, Vinyl Fetish Fun Trowa flung the huge axe towards Quatre.

            "DUCK!!!"  The Nice One shouted as he dropped to the floor---barely missing an axe to the face. **"DUCK!!!"**

            The axe went slicing through the trolley doors …

            "DUCKS??!? They got DUCKS in this-----OH---aaaaaayh!!!!" Duo turned around and was TOO stupid to follow such a simple order. Perhaps it was due to the fact he didn't have much oxygen for a while.  

So Heero had to yank the Braided Baka to the floor next to him.

            "**DUCK**, Duo, meaning **to crouch down or lower one's body to avoid flying axes!"  **Heero growled in monotone.

            "Oh?  Ohhhhhh!!!!"

            Now the axe was headed for Wufei who wasn't about to get killed and ran to the side.  "Oh shiit!!"  He yelled.

            The axe smashed into the trolley's controls and ALL HELL broke loose….

            The trolley car suddenly swerved from side to side and the lights began to flicker.  The cast of few found themselves being tossed around like the drunk naked chick at a frat party. 

            "OW!"  Duo yelled as he was thrown from seat to seat.  "I-I AM GOING TO PUKE---Urghp!!!"

            "OH **FUCK** THIS!!!" Wufei was trying to climb out of the trolley window but was thrown against the controls----His jacket snagged the brake lever.  "AaaaaaaaaRGH!!!  I feel like---WHOOOOOA!!!"

            The trolley made a REALLY loud noise.  

            **(SCREEEEEETCH-R-R-R-R-RIIIIIIIIIIP!!!)**

It jolted in the air----crashing back to the ground and fucking EVERYTHING up inside.  The seats went flying around along with the random shit Duo and Wu-Wu gathered earlier.

Heero tried to shield himself from harm but the spice rack proved otherwise.  "Oh…sh----"

**CRASH!!!** It sounded smashing into his back.

Heero went flying into a wall and fainted, "Fuuuuuucking….. Spice raaaaaaack……____________"

Trowa seemed undaunted until a random tire went flying straight to his face.  **"…OOPH!!!"**

            The Lanky Bastard was thrown out of the trolley window.  Quatre tried to go after him (and do what?!?), the trolley suddenly—and FINALLY crashed.

            The last thing Quatre saw was a trolley bench flying towards his head. "Oh, dea--"

            **SMASH!!!**

**(AUTHOR'S NOTE: tbc..... (SORRY)**


	12. When Sugar Daddies Attack! pt 1

**Chapter 12: **

**When Sugar Daddies**

ATTACK pt1 

**1:05AM.**** In front of the ****Lemur********City********Convention Center****.  ****Lemur********City********Beach****.**

            Quatre awoke with his head, literally, in the sand.  "Mmrph?!?!  PHEW-EY!!!" He spat.  He staggered to his feet and looked at his surroundings. _Lemur__City__Convention Center__??!_

            Quatre looked amongst the enflamed debris and gasped, "Oh no---the guys!!!"  He started looking around all hysterical until tripped over Duo's fallen form upon the beach sand.  "Ooph!!!  Yuck!!! AGAIN with the consuming of the beach sand---FUCK!!!"

            Duo pulled his head out of the sand.  Quatre tripping over his head gave him the jolt needed to wake up.  He sat up and immediately shook the sand from his insanely long braided hair.  "Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!!!  I hate the beach!!!!"  He looked around and realized---- "DUDE?!?!  Like, Lemur City is in a LANDLOCKED state.  Why-THE-FUCK are we on a beach!?!?"  

            The teens stood up and looked around. Sure it looked like they were on a moonlit beach, but something was missing…..  LIKE the seagulls, the waves rushing back and forth, the jellyfish that lay waiting for people to step on them….  As Quatre continued to puke sand and…. cookies, Duo walked off and spotted a sign.

            It read:

**Welcome to ****Lemur****City****'s ****Artificial****Beach****!**

"Ah!  Landlocked misfits wanna beach too!!!  Quatre check this!!!"  Duo chuckled.  Then he scanned the sign next to the left.  "Rules?!?"

They read:

            **No shoes are allowed on the beach.**

**            No running on the beach.**

**            No diving in the 3, 4, 6, OR 50th feet area of the water.**

**            Do not put towels on the beach.**

**            No horseplay at the beach.**

**            No pets are allowed.**

**            Do not leave children unattended.**

**Children under the age of 18 are NOT allowed.**

**            Do not stay in the water for longer than 10 minutes.**

**Swimming, Playing, Underwater sports, and wading is NOT allowed at the beach…..**

            "Uhh…. This isn't a beach….. It's like a sick joke….."  Duo uttered. 

The rules went on ranting other forms of stupidness.  Duo was too dumbfounded to read.  Instead, he ran off to follow Quatre, who was looking for a restroom inside the convention center… he swallowed a LOT of artificial sand.

**At the VERY same time inside the Convention Center 3rd floor.**

"AAAAYCHOOOO!"  Heero woke himself and Wufei up from an unconscious slumber. The Earth shattering sneeze was courtesy of the pepper that had sprinkled over him during the ROUGH ride on the trolley. 

"You DICK---You could've AT LEAST removed the damn spices, Chang!!" He yelled.  "AAAAH-ahh-Chooooo!!!"

Wufei instantly wiped his face, "Thanks—I needed that---ASSHOLE!!!"  

Heero looked around and noticed they were in some sort of study…. judging from the various shelves of now burning books and papers around them.

They saw the decimated trolley, ablaze, smashed through a wall.  Heero staggered to his feet and approached the trolley.

"What if Quatre and Duo are still in there!"  Wufei gasped.  He raced past Heero and tried to smash open one of the cracked windows.  "Quatre!!!!  Duo!!!  Are you two in there!!?!?  Hey!!! Hey----Ow!!!"

Heero snatched Wufie back by his tiny ponytail. "Hey, stupid, this thing is gonna explode.  There's nothing we could do for them even if they were in there---"

Wufei snatched away, "HOW do YOU know they are not in there!?!?"

Because… THEY'RE in there!"  Heero mumbled looking at the flaming zombies emerge from the crashed trolley car.  "Hn!"

Wufei and Heero were now face to face with flaming zombies. I mean these S.O.Bs were on FIRE!!!  They were creeping towards the two boys with much haste….  At first it seemed hopeless: Everyone's stuff was scattered all over the place---- the boys were weaponless!!! 

Wufei wanted to make the mad dash for the discarded grenade launcher--- but the high quality armchair was SO much closer.  Heero looked to his side and spotted—HEY a coffee table!!!

Heero and Wu-Wu gave each other side glances before laying the fancy-furniture SMACKDOWN upon a row of oncoming zombies!  

Wu-Bee-Pie's weapon of choice took out several ghouls'.  They went flying across the room, and smashing into a bookshelf.  Heero's coffee table attack sent zombies flying through a wall!!!

After wasting the first gang of zombies----Heero and Wufei NOW had access to their weapons----FUCK'EM!!!  Once the two alpha males got to kicking undead ass with simple furnishings, weapons were no longer needed.  They went ape-shit.

Wufei grabbed a zombie by the back of the head and ran it into a bookshelf.  He suddenly remembered something.  "Hey, Yuy, what about your shirt?"

"What about it?"  Heero answered as he threw a zombie through the study room wall.  "Not you, too!!!"  He gruffed, shoving the back of his fist into a ghoul's face…

"No!"  Wu-Wu Hack-ku-sho cringed. He snatched a wall mirror off the wall, smashing it over another zombie's head.  "I mean that ARCHFIEND-jerk.  He's after your shirt."

"Oh, yeah."  Heero nodded---just before kicking a flaming zombie in its chest, knocking it through a display rack.  'Fuck him—I, alone, can tear him a new asshole.  He's not laying a decayed finger on my badass shirt."

Wufei cringed again, after jump-kicking a random zombie into corner.  "So......You like that shirt?"  He asked picking up a heavy, steel paperweight and smashing it through the same zombie's head.

Heero flipped over the shoulders of the last remaining zombie and slammed it through the floor. He flipped to his feet then dusted himself…. AND his shirt off. He gave Wufei the most curious glare and responded, "What?  You don't LIKE my shirt?"

"Not particularly.   It's too…. shimmer-ry and onna-like."  Wufei admitted.  "Besides I thought you didn't like the shirt. Wufei strolled over to his discarded weapon upon the floor.

Heero did the same, but in another direction.  "You have major beef for this shirt, Mr. Chang.  Admit it."

"..."

"Thought so----"

**CRASH!!!**

Upon hearing that, Wufei and Heero slowly turned to stare at each other and sulked.

**"Son-of-a-BITCH!!!"**  Heero gruffed rather loudly as he stormed out of the room.

****

****

**1:25am.** Inside the ******Lemur******City**********Convention Center****.  Recreation Room. (Outside the restroom facility) **

"What the hell?"  Duo gasped.  

After multiple flushes, Quatre FINALLY exited the restroom---he ate **ALOT** of sand.  "Oh my gosh!  Could it be: The ARCHFIEND?!?!"

"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!!!!"  Duo shouted.

Quatre was alarmed, "What?!"

"What the **fuck crawled up your ass and **DIED**?!?!" He wheezed holding his nose.  "I mean ****DAAAAAAAAMN!  I'm like outside the freaking restroom and I think you killed my sense of smell—"**

"Oh.... just.... shut-up!"  Quatre mumbled, embarrassed, as he closed the bathroom door and locked it.  "Look we have to investigate."

Duo choked, "Naw, yo.  We need to **'set-up-us-the-bomb' in order to put that restroom out of its misery and take you to a doctor...."**

Quatre eye twitched, "...."  He took out his magnums (fighting the urge to shoot Duo) and headed towards the rec room exit.  "I'm OK.  Look, let's just forget about this and investigate the situation ahead of us.  Wufei, Heero, and _his shirt could be in danger..."_

**A perfect diversion tactic! Like a rabid ferret, Duo's attention was instantly swapped over to something else.**

"OH my gawd!  The shirt!"  Duo took out a spice rack and growled, "Maaan, if ANYTHING happens to that shirt--- I'll fuck everything up!!!"

Quatre gave Duo an odd glare from behind as they entered the conference room.  "Uhh...  with a spice rack?"

Duo chuckled, "Heeey!  It knocked Heero the fuck out didn't it?"

The two boys stalked out of the conference room. It was in shambles!  Chairs and tables lay smashed all over the floor, along with the bodies of several dead mercenaries and destroyed zombies.  It appeared to be a last stand, and EVERYONE lost.

"Oh!  This is horrible!"  Quatre gasped looking around in despair.

"Yeah, this place stinks as much as you back at the-----"

"RAAAAAAAARGH!!!!"  Howled a zombie emerging from the pile of bodies behind Duo.

"Holy shit!!!"  Duo shouted as he spun around and smashed the spice rack against the sneaky ghoul.  Of course it shattered---but the zombie still stood there and lunged after Duo.  **"FUCK!!!"**

Duo caught the creature by the arms, holding its mouth at bay. They both went crashing into Quatre who was about to start capping.  The magnums went blasting into the ceiling. All three went hurtling to the floor.  The zombie was on top of both boys!!!

**(Author's note: That sounds SO wrong....  in so many ways....)**

"AAAAAyh!!!!  Get him off!!! Get him off!!! Get him off!!! Get him off!!!" Duo screamed in a frantic mantra while struggling to keep the zombie from biting his face.

"ARGH!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! Get off!!!! **Get off!!!!" **Quatre shouted, trying to get his guns in aim at the zombie's head—instead of Duo's. And suddenly he looked up and spotted a more........  disturbing problem.  "The ARCHFIEND!!!"

The ARCHFIEND stood over them and he looked pissed!  He was about to just help the situation and just step on all 3 of them.  Suddenly, Duo managed the throw the zombie off him with his legs, launching him into the air and into the ARCHFIEND's face.  Both boys rolled out of ARCHFIEND's path and took to running.

The Giant Freak caught the zombie and spiked that fucker into the ground.  He released a loud roar and took to running after.... Duo.

"Why ME!!!"  Duo huffed as he picked up speed through piles of zombies and corpses.... corpses that were suddenly coming BACK TO LIFE!!!!  "Oh!!!!  Great!!  FUCKING GREAT!!!"  

While Duo is barely ducking and weaving through zombie mercenaries, the ARCHFIEND is just plowing through the creeps like friggin' a knife does butter.  The Ghoulish Tyrant was gaining on Duo, and Quatre just couldn't seem to distract the monster with enough magnum rounds in the back!!!!

"Gawd DAMMINT!!!!"  Quatre cursed as he reloaded his magnum and continued shooting.  He wasn't fast enough to catch up with ARCHFIEND and Duo, who suddenly went flying through the exiting doors.  The Braided Baka was running for his life, and the ARCHFIEND was pretty damn determined to take it right from him.  Before Quatre could get near the doors, a whole score of zombies had blocked his path towards the multiple doors.  Another score of zombies were also lurching towards him from behind....  "This can't end like this..." he sighed as the zombies closed in on him. 

He was going to die.

_But I didn't accomplish.... ANYTHING... I could save the city, the survivors..... Trowa...  This isn't fair....  THIS ISN'T FUCKING FAIR....._

Suddenly a zombie managed to grab hold of  Quatre, he simply shoved him off, knocking him into a few other zombies... More zombies approached his personal space....

_FUCKING UNFAIR!  I COULDN'T SAVE ANY-GAWD-DAMN-BODY!_

Suddenly a few zombies grabbed his arms and got ready to bite----

_I'M A FUCKING LOSER!!!!  I HATE LOSING---_

With a simple twist of his arms, the zombies lost their grip on Quatre, leaving them open for a SERIOUS ASS-KICKING.

**"I CANNOT LOSE!! I'M A FUCKING WINNER---BITCH!!!!"  Quatre boomed in an inhuman voice. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!! Behold my awesome power!!!!!"**

**(Author's note:  What the Hell is THIS??!!)**

Quatre went into full **Zero System and his personal space was now..... on fire!  Everything close to him suddenly burst into flames!  He leaped into the air (like a freak) and landed with a heel into a zombie's head.  As that zombie went into the floor, Quatre flipped into the air and spun kicked 6 zombies THROUGH 6 other zombies and into a wall!!!**

Then Quatre, ran up to a random zombie and punched it dead in its gut---the zombie went flying to the floor.  When it landed, the ghoul started contorting and shaking violently before exploding into a million disgusting pieces.

**"Yeah!  I'm going 'Fist of the North Star' on ya'll MONKEY-ASSES!!!"  Quatre boomed, repeating the same gruesome act upon another from the side. ****"Elbow—PUNK!!!"  He shouted.**

The zombie went flying into a wall and exploded.

**(Author's note: I DON'T care how crappy it looks that anime KIX AZZ!!!)**

A bunch of zombies jumped upon him—they were set on fire from Quatre's flaring aura, but that didn't stop the Blonde Freak from smashing their bodies into each other and through the floor.  

Another group of zombies tried their hand at grabbing Quatre—and lost them.  He snatched the arms off of one zombie and started beating the undead-living shit out of them.

"TALK TO THE FUCKING HAND, FOOLS!!!  kyahaha!!!"  Quatre scoffed rather loudly, all while going BALLISTIC.

He turned around and spotted a few zombies trying to stagger off.  

**"Oh WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!?!" The Tiny Psycho screamed. Quatre went running towards them and clotheslined through ALL of their heads.... except the last one. Which Quatre grabbed by the back of the head and ran through the conference room doors!!!**

It wasn't over yet. Quatre then pounced upon the zombie's back and slid down the hallway floor on its face!!!!  That is until.... they went crashing through the hallway walls and out into the lobby area....  were he was nothing more than a smear...

**"Heh, heh!!!  Don't mess with a Winner, motherfucker!!!"  Quatre growled, breathing deeply.**

Suddenly, a familiar voice sounded from across the lobby area, snapping Quatre back to normal....... **(WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS...) **

"Now THAT was worthy of kewl points."  Heero complimented.  He and Wufei had just entered the lobby area trying to find what the racket was.....  "Well, I see there was no need to worry about you."

Wufei snuffed, "Hmph, WELL, he was trained by the best."

Heero walked off, "I can't WAIT to meet THAT guy."

"Whatever bitch."  Wufei followed closely behind.

After stomping the zombie goo off his sneakers, he hurried towards Heero.  "Wow!! How did you know to look here?"

Wufei breathed in annoyance, "It was quite easy when two magnum rounds came blasting out from under us."

Quatre laughed nervously, "My bad...."

Heero was shocked, "YOU did it?  I'd figured Duo..."

Then Quatre gasped, "Oh my gawd!!! Have you seen Duo?"

Heero arched his brow glancing around, "Hn.... I was going to ask you the same thing."

            Suddenly they heard the frantic footsteps of the Braided Merc.  Dashing out through the same hallway Quatre came sliding from. He finally collapsed at guy's feet, huffing and puffing.

            "Thank gawd!!!  I thought.... I'd never find.... the rest of you.... guys!!!!"

            Quatre helped Duo to his feet, "Oh my!  I'm so happy you're STILL alive!"  

            Heero pulled out his Sniper Rifle and shoved Quatre aside, "Hold up!"  Heero grabbed Duo by his ear and pulled him close to face him.

            "OOOW-OWOWOW!!!!  Hey!!!" Duo exclaimed, trying to pull away.

            Heero's grip remained along with his suspicion, "What the HELL are leading to us?"

            Quatre announced, "The ARCHFIEND found us and chased Duo---"

            "Shit!!!"  Wufei shouted.  "Did you lose him?!"

            Duo quickly snatched away from Heero and ran from the group, towards the hallway.  "Lay OFF!!!  Paranoid bastards!!!!  I OBVIOUSLY ditched him!"

            Wufei intervened, "Well, that's all good—Let's get the hell out of here."

            Heero nodded.  Quatre gave an odd stare.

"Uhm... how do we do that?"  The Blonde asked.

            Duo responded, "Well, while I was running around here, I came across a stairwell that leads to the communications tower..."

            Quatre was puzzled.  Wufei arched his brow and gestured for Duo to go on.  Heero strolled over to Duo and snatched a manual from Duo's backpack.

            "Hey!  **Moocher**!!!"

            ".... Your **momma."  Heero returned.  He unfolded the Supervisor's manual and announced rather calmly, "**According** to the papers, **Parasol** ****mercenaries and ****survivors are to arrive at the **Lemur City Convention Center** roof to the **Communications Tower**..."**

            Quatre and Wufei beamed, "Heey!! We're **survivors**!!!"

            Duo smirked, "Heey!! Isn't THIS the **Lemur City Convention Center? Good Golly-YES!!!"**

            Heero exposed a humored smirk.  He read further.  He gulped, took a DEEP breath and announced, "We are to make a signal at the Tower at 2:00am...."  Heero took a glance at his watch and sighed, "I hope you guys can run, 'cause we got **five** minutes."

            Quatre looked at Wufei. _Oh, dear!_

            Wufei looked at Heero. _Oh, damn!_

            Heero looked at Duo. _Oh, shit!_

            Duo took off like a cheetah. _Oh, FUCK!!!_

            Heero, Wufei, and Quatre did the same.

            Then suddenly something went:

            **"SPARKLES!!!"**


	13. Convention Center Capers

**Chapter 13**

**Convention Center Capers!!!**

****

**1:56AM.**** Lemur City Convention Center. North Staircase.  3rd Floor.**

            The 4 boys were almost at their final destination.  They were making excellent timing as well.  Perhaps they REALLY want this fic to end OR maybe because the ARCHFIEND was tromping up the stairs after them. 

            "That.... FUCKING SHIRT!!!"  Puffed Wufei.  "It's ALWAYS about that FUCKING.... shirt!!!"

            ".... Less he-bitching....."  Heero uttered between breaths.  "More running.... besides it was DUMB-ASS that led it to us!!!"

            **"SPARKLES!!!!  SPARKLES!!!!", the ARCHFIEND roared during breaths.**

            "Give me a break—**DOOR!!!" Duo was the first to make it to the door-----**

            BAM!!!  The Mercenary of Death nearly knocked the door off its hinges.  Heero was close behind when he took a hold of the wrecked door, allowing Quatre and Wufei to just race through.  The Perfect Club Kid decided to wait for the ARCHFIEND to rush through and----

            WHAM!!! Heero slammed the door into ARCHFIEND so hard the large creature went rolling down the stairs and into a wall.

            **"SPAR-uuuuuhhh_________" ARCHFIEND lost consciousness.**

            Meanwhile Duo made his way up the tower.  He got ready to climb....

            Wufei looked at his watch.  "We got 2 minutes!!!"

            "Don't worry, I got this!" Duo assured as he climbed to the top of the tower and screamed, **"HEEEEEEEEEY!  WE'RE REEEEEADY!!!"**

            Wufei gawked at Duo and replied, "Uhm.... I don't think that's gonna cut it, Duo."

"Jeeez...." Quatre rolled his eyes and ran inside the Control Room next to the tower.  He located a flare gun and flares.  Quatre ran back outside.  He loaded the flare gun and fired. "This should do."

The sky was brightly lit with blazing flares.   Duo climbed down from the tower and stood around with the rest of the boys... and waited.

Heero sighed, "I hope this worked."

"Just a minute past the deadline..." Wufei spoke. He took a deep breath and looked around.  "Hey!  I see a chopper!"  He yelled.  

"Excellent."  Heero nodded.

Duo exclaimed, "YEEEAH!!!! Kick ASS!!!"

Quatre cheered, "Yaay!!!  Finally!  It's FINALLY over!!!"

**2:01AM.****  Lemur City Convention Center Tower.**

The boys cleared the area as the chopper got ready to land....

"Down here!!!"  Quatre called out waving his hands to the pilot.

The pilot waved and suddenly something caught his eye.  "Uhhh....  DUCK!!!" He screamed, pointing past the boys and taking the chopper higher to get to a safe distance....  "DUUUUUCK!!!"

Wufei looked behind him at the control room and spotted....

"Trowa?!?!"  He gasped.  "What the HELL is THAT?!?!!"

Duo shouted, "Oh shit!!! A duck?!?!"

Heero arched his brow and mumbled, "What the FUCK!?!"

Quatre freaked out.  "No!!!  NO!!!!  TROWAAAAAAA!!!"

Trowa stood at the top of the Control Room next to his newest weapon: a GIANT Zombie Mutant Duck.  **"..."** he whispered to the creature.  The giant freakish duck took flight and blared:

**"QW****AA**AA******AAAAA****AA**AAA******ARCK!!" **

It went flying straight at the chopper!  

Heero took out his sub machine guns. Quatre reloaded out his automatic shotgun.  Duo whipped out the U-Z, and Wufei released the safety on his Chain Gun. All 4 boys opened fire at the monster duck, but to no avail!!!

**"Q**WAA******A---" KA-BOOOOOM!!!!  **

The duck and the chopper collided, causing a nasty explosion.  Flames, metal, and fried duck flew everywhere! The ball of feathery destruction went crashing into the tower!!!  

"Nooooooo!!!"  Quatre screamed!  

Wufei snatched the Medic Preventer out of the falling tower's path.  They took cover near the Control Room.  

"AAAAAAh!!!!! DUCK!!!!  DUCK!!!!"  Duo screamed ducking to the ground as the large piece flaming debris started to fall his way.

Heero ran over to Duo yanked him up by his braid and hauled him over to the stairwell.  "No, BAKA.  Now is the time to run and hide!!!"

**CRAAAASH!!!!  **

**FWOOOOOSH!!!  Flames and debris shot out all over!!!**

**2:15AM.**** Devastated ****Lemur********City********Convention********Center********Tower****.**

Quatre awoke with a THROBBING headache.  Being hit with a large metal beam from the tower he considered himself lucky.  He struggled to his feet and looked around...

"Chang-sir?!"  He looked over and spotted a VERY knocked out Wufei lying next to him.  He shoved him some more.  "Mr. Chang, sir?

Wufei stirred, he slowly opened his eyes.  "Uh.... everything HURTS....."

Quatre smiled, "I'm so glad you're ok!" He helped his superior to his feet and glanced around.  "I just hope that Heero and Duo are ok as well."

Wufei began to stomp over the ruined ground.  Quatre followed.  They discovered the heap of metal and concrete that used to be the stairwell entrance.  They gave each other side glances.  Heero and Duo must be under there! They immediately went to the pile of debris to locate the mercenaries!

"Mr. Yuy!!!  Mr. Maxwell!!!"  Quatre called out.  He shoved a piece of wall off another slab metal.  "Oh my gawd!!!  What if they are---"

Wufei frowned, "Shut-up, kid, and search!!!"  He struggled with a rather LARGE chunk of metal....  "Holy shit!!!  This is heavy as HELL!!!"

Quatre got up and staggered backward.... "Uhh.....  Wufei—that's the chopper.... and it's leaking!!!"  

Sure enough, the chopper was leaking fluid--- FUEL---and of course there was a fire nearby..... Because well Trowa was LIGHTING a MATCH.....  HUH?!?!  Brainwashed Trowa had a fucking match ---lit--- and was slowly lowering it towards the flames.

Wufei scampered backwards and yelled, "SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!  Trowa!!! What are you?  STUPID!!!?" He hurried over to the ledge. He looked back and shouted, "Quatre NOW is NOT the time to play buddy-buddy!  Run you goofy boy!"

Quatre ignored him and spoke out to Trowa, "Come on Frin---there's another way!  Remember: We're like family!  We pulled through during the Parasol Mansion incident...."

Trowa continued to lower the match....

Wufei stood up upon the very ledge of the tower platform.  _He looked down.  Gawd I wish I didn't DO that!!! That fall was **long**.  Even though they were over a glass dome that is the convention center, the walkways were along the edge of the building.  If the drop went too far off---it would be a straight 100 ft drop to the glass and 5 floors worth of fall within the convention center!_

"Daaaamn!"  Wufei shuddered.

"CURSE YOU, Trowa!!!!  Stop this!!!"  Quatre aimed his weapon. "Don't make me do this!!!"

Trowa narrowed his exposed eye,  "Grrrr,,,,"

"TROWA!!!"

"gRRrr...."

The Blonde Cutie lowered his weapon and implored one last time, "Please?!!"

"HSSSsssssSSSS!!!"

"What's with the damn hiss!?"  Quatre blinked.

Trowa lowered the match---- The flame moved quickly towards the chopper!!!!

"AAAAAAyh!!!" Quatre made a mad dash

Wufei jumped.  **"OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIT!!!!"  **

**CRAAAAASH!!!!**

Quatre tackled Trowa off the opposite side of the ledge just as the chopper exploded.  They both went plummeting several stories towards the concrete side of the dome center.  

**THWUMP!!!! **

**SQUEAK!!!**

The boys continuously rolled off the side of the concrete supported dome and unto the large glass atrium, above the lobby area. Fortunately, the boys weren't really heavy and so they stayed upon the glass platform just fine....  

Quatre scrambled to his feet.  Trowa flipped to his.  

"Is this what you want?!  **DEATH and DESTRUCTION**??!?"  Quatre shouted at Trowa.  "Who is making you do this?!?!?"

Trowa moved forward and grabbed Quatre by his face and tossed him aside.  Quatre slide across the glass and hit his head against one of the glass frames.  The Taller Preventer lightly stepped over to Quatre and kicked him in the side and stomp on his back several times....

**"GRRrrrr!!!"  The Noble Medic grabbed Trowa's leg and tossed him into the air.  He landed upon the glass—cracking it.  As Trowa instantly and CAREFULLY stood up, Quatre swayed to his feet and muttered, "All I want to do is save you..... and you beat the crap out of me....." He felt his side and winced, "I think you broke my rib...." he continued.  "You ****fucking ingrate....****AAAAAARGH!!!" He charged at Trowa---spearing him through the damaged glass panel---**

**SMASH!!!!**

They fell onto the tiled floor of the lobby area.

**CRASH!!!**

**2:35AM.**** Lemur City Convention Central Atrium Lobby Area**

Wufei awoke---- In **ONE FRIGGIN PIECE!!!** He strained, moving to his feet.  Taking a look over his body, he was **OK—with minor cuts from the glass.  He made it to the walkway.  He gathered the remains of his weaponry. He looked around for Quatre..... and Trowa.**

**_Shit__, maybe they didn't make it._  Wufei furrowed his brow.  _It's his own _****DAMN fault—I told his **spoony**-ass to dip. But he's SO damn concerned with that ****BONDAGE **CREEP** Trowa!!!  Wu-Barb Pie was finding himself rather enraged and yet he didn't know why.  ****_DAMN__ Trowa!  **Anti-Social son-of-a-one-eyed-BITCH**!!! He gets away with _****EVERYTHING!!! **

_'Wait!!!? Who shot the **damn sheriff AND the ****friggin' deputy!!!??'**_

_'It's okay---**Trowa did it!  We didn't like those bastards anyway!'**_

_'Hey!!! **Who blew up the armory??!!  Trowa did it!!'**_

_'Oh!!!? Well, THAT'S okay!!! It's **FUCKING ****Trowa!!!' **_

_He's can do it!!! That fucker can do **ANYTHING**!!!!!_

_But when it comes to me it's: Shut-up, you nagging-ass **he-bitch**!!!!_

**_OR__...._**

_Aren't you the jerk-off that ditched us at the __Parasol__ _Mansion___?!?!  **FUCK YOU Wufei! We're going to hang out with Trowa!**_

_We'd give you the keys to the **Super-Modified Initial-D Special Edition patrol car, but you'd probably just ditch us... just like at the Parasol Mansion!!!! We'll give the keys to Trowa.**_

**(Author's note: MAN, This is some deep-rooted angst going on here.... someone needs to pay a visit to Dr. Phil. 4-sho!)**

"**GRRRRR**!!! I HATE this shit!!!"  Wufei growled. He continued to walk towards the elevator.  He pressed the button and nothing happened.  Lifting his head up, Wufei, realized why:  The elevator is out of order.  "..grr..."  He headed down the hallway towards the stairwell.

He opened the door and headed downstairs...

_I honestly don't care if live through this--- I SO hope someone or SOMETHING seriously whoops Trowa's ass...._

**(Author's note: Little did WUFU know, his wish was about to be granted...)**

**2:38****AM.********Lemur********City**** Convention Southern Atrium Lobby Area**

Quatre, although turning out to be quite the badass in this fic, has had nothing but patience for his mind altered friend---but this SHIT has gone on long enough.  After receiving his LAST internal injury from Trowa—Quatre feels that the only way to save him is to WHOOP HIS ASS FOR ALL IT'S WORTH!!!

Too bad he's too unconscious to stop Trowa from totally fucking him up...

Trowa was the first to recover from the inhuman fall.  He scrambled over to a large shard of glass.....  I'm talking a HUGE fucking chunk of glass.  Trowa tightened his grip upon the nasty weapon—not that the sharpness mattered—he's wearing gloves.  He aimed the glass over Quatre's chest and held it up to make a stab---

**PING****!!!**

Heero shot the glass shard out of Trowa's hand.  "Hey bitch, remember me?"

"..."

Duo loomed out from behind him and laughed, "Yeah!!!  It's time to get your ass kicked!"  He tapped Heero upon the shoulder and whispered, "Hey.... why don't you let me hold the shirt, so it doesn't get ripped or anything---- Hee-Hee!!!"

Heero walked forward and responded, "Get BENT ---You are NOT getting my shirt."

Duo turned around and pouted, "Hmph... I look WAY better in it than you, ANYWAY—skank!"

Trowa stood up.  **"Grr."**

Heero cracked his knuckles.  "Hn."

Suddenly, Trowa swung--- his leg towards Heero's face.  Heero folded backwards, missing the impact.  Trowa spun around to spin and kick his legs out, but Heero quickly stood up and caught Trowa's leg, yanked it up and tossed him into the air.

Trowa landed upon his feet, of course, after twirling and flipping like a freak.

"Show off."  Heero growled.  He charged at Trowa with a right hook.

Trowa gave Heero the bird.  **"..."**

Trowa caught it and made him regret it--- smashing his face with his own left hook. Trowa yanked his arm and started to twist it. Heero slammed his left elbow into Trowa's temple and snatched his arm out of Trowa's grip.  Heero grabbed Trowa by the hair and shot his knee into his face—several times before throwing him to the floor.

Trowa scrambled to his feet.  Heero was already there when he grabbed a lobby chair and went for the attack. Trowa ducked and did a foot sweep—causing the Messy-Haired Merc to crash into the floor.  The Tall Freak took hold of the lobby chair and got ready to plant Heero into the ground with it.

Heero rolled out of the way, missing the chair by mere inches.  He instantly jumped to his feet---- and punched Trowa dead in the face.

**"MMMRPH!!!!" Trowa sounded, as he faltered towards the floor.  **

Heero quickly made his way towards Trowa's front and served him an uppercut to the jaw.

**KRAK!!**

Trowa went flying into the air and landed through a lobby table.  **CRASH!!! **

With Trowa 'dealt with', Heero fixed his tousled hair (?!?) and walked towards Quatre. Duo didn't have much success with waking him up—partly because he had his eye on Heero's shirt during the fight the whole time.

"Man!  You had me worried—I thought for sure you'd screw up and get that shirt harmed!"  Duo smiled in relief.

"..."  Heero gave Duo a mean glare--- then ignored him.  "Mr. Winner?  Are you alright?!"  He sat Quatre up and shook up a bit.  "Quatre!?"

Quatre groaned in pain, "Ow! My head is killing me!"  He shook his head and looked around.  "HEERO!!! DUO!!! You're alive!!!"

Heero released Quatre and stood up.  "Yeah, whatever..."

Duo clapped his hands and cheered, "Sweet daddy we are!!!"

"H-how did you guys survive!?"

Heero blinked.  "Hn...?"

Duo scratched his head.  "Duuuuh...."

They gave each other side glances. They don't remember actually going back INSIDE the stairwell—they ran to the side.  When the chopper and tower fell—the stairwell was demolished!!!  ANYTHING around it met the same fate as well--- In other words: THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN DEAD!!!

            Quatre waved a hand in front of the two frozen mercs,  Uhm.....  Guys?!"

            Heero and Duo both announced, "Editing mistake in OUR favor."

            Quatre raised a brow. "Ohh-kaaay."  He looked over to where Trowa was lying. "What happened to him?"

            "I kicked his ass, Mr. Winner."  Heero uttered. "And I liked it."

            The Blonde Medic gone Wild slowly shook his head and sighed, "I know, I know.... you had no other choice...."

            Duo waved his hand and confessed, "Well, he DID find this neat-o tranquilizer gun-**HIIIC**- ***COUGH***!!!" The Black Clad Baka was so RUDELY interrupted by Heero suddenly approaching him and jabbing him in the neck.

            Heero helped Duo to his feet and smirked, "Oh, I'm sorry was that **YOUR** neck I hit?"

            "HIC!!! ***COUGH* ***COUGH***!!!"**


	14. The ARCHFIEND Strikes Back!

**Chapter 14**

**The ARCHFIEND Strikes Back!!!******

**2:45****AM.****Lemur********City**** Convention**** Southern Atrium Lobby Area**

****

Despite the joyous reunion, Heero and Duo had to share some pretty fucked up news with Quatre.  They found, yet, another well-informative document that did NOT seem to improve the dilemma at hand:

            **The ****Lemur****City**** area will self detonate at ****6 am****... on the dot!**

            Duo didn't freak out half as much as Quatre did upon first hearing this.  Heero was forced to tranq the Frantic Preventer about 3 times before he decided to calm down.

            Quatre finally sunk into the lobby couch cushions and took deep breaths.  Duo perched upon the top of the couch beside him.  Heero just stood over the both of them.

            "I can't believe I wasted 3 darts on you.  Even Duo calmed down after 2!"

            Duo smiled, "Yeah!  It was so trippy!"

            "H-How can you two be so cool, calm, and collected about this?"

            Heero folded his arms and responded, "What good does acting like a punk-bitch accomplish?"  He continued, "You're STILL the officer of the law here, and it is YOUR job to BE the **mellowest** out of all of us---EVEN **ME**.  We have a few hours left.  We need to make haste to the factory, past the cemetery, and then..."

            Quatre looked up and concluded, "Make our escape to the docks."

            Duo bounced off the couch and followed Heero towards the exiting doors. Quatre reluctantly followed behind.

            He looked back at Trowa who was STILL just lying there unconscious and frowned.  "Good-Bye, Frin Trowa." _Hmm... I wonder where's Wufei?_

**2:50am.********Lemur********City**** Artificial Beach.**

            As Heero marched through the fake sand, Duo and Quatre followed behind. Duo, being the most humane of the two mercenaries, gave Quatre a consoling pat on the back and comforted him....

            "Don't worry, Lil' Guy, I'm sure Trowa is better off being blown to bits.  Perhaps having his brain poisoned was probably torture for him and he would rather go down in a ball of raving flames than run around beating the shit out of you.  See?!"

            **(Scratch THAT...)**

            Quatre gawked at Duo.  "Uhh.... Gee, thanks for the different perspective....Uhm...."

            Even Heero had to turn around and glare at Duo.  "What the FUCK did you say something like THAT for?"

            "WHAT?!"

            "Uhm, actually, I was worried about Wufei?  Do you think he's still----"

            "You mean The Great Wu-googly-Googly?" Duo exclaimed.  "Oh shit!! He **is missing!!!  Hey!!! Heero, should we go back and look for him!"**

            Quatre looked past Heero and tried to speak, "Uhm, guys---"

            "Hell NO."  Heero replied.  "We can't afford to waste any time. Besides—I never liked him anyway."

            "I HEARD THAT!"  Wufei yelled.  He was actually standing at the Beach Entrance waiting for them.  "Motherfucker."

            "Up yours!"  Heero snapped.

            "I was talking to Duo---JACKASS!"

            "ME?!!?"  Duo blinked.  "But--Wu-Man!!!  I thought we were tight!!!"

            Quatre tried to intervene, "Hey Mr. Chang---"

            Heero insulted, "Don't go insulting the **weakest link** to avoid ME!!!"

            "Yeah!!!!  Bitch!!!----**Hey!!! I'm not the weakest link!!!!" Duo stormed up to Heero and shoved him into Wufei, "Skeezer!!!"**

            "!!!"  Heero stumbled towards Wufei, who stepped to the side.  He slammed into the beach entrance sign.  "BAKA!!!!"  Heero got ready to tear Duo a new one when he suddenly shouted, "Oh, SHIT!!!"

            Quatre dove into the sand just in time to avoid the ARCHFIEND's tentacle.  He rolled towards the artificial beach grass to safety. 

            **"Aayh!!!"  Duo scream as the tentacle stabbed him in the side. The poisonous wound immediately took effect, and Duo fell lifelessly to the ground.**

            "Duo!" Quatre screamed.  He staggered to his feet and took out his fully reloaded Magnums.  "WHY!!?"

            "You son-of-a-**BITCH!!!"  Heero yelled as he snatched the entrance sign and charged at the ARCHFIEND.  "Take this!!!" He took a swing and smashed it into the ARCHFIEND's side.**

            **"ROOOOOAR!!!"  He shook the impact off and lashed another tentacle... this time in Heero's direction.**

            **BLAM!!! BLAM!!! Quatre fired his guns into ARCHFIEND's back, distracting him. "No more killing!!! I WON'T let you take ANYMORE lives----OOPH!!!"**

            The ARCHFIEND quickly turned around and swatted him across the sand past Duo's lying form. Quatre shook the stars from his head just before seeing the ARCHFIEND towering over him.  He reached down and grabbed Quatre by the neck and lifted him in the air. "GRRRRRR!!!"

            "AAAAAYH!!!"  Quatre screamed as he sighted that familiar tentacle spearing towards his face----

            **"ROOOOOOA----ooooph!!!"  ARCHFIEND was tackled from behind by Wufei and Heero from behind.  He went flying across the sand and into the artificial beach water. SPLASH!!!**

            Heero and Wufei got up from the sand and took out their guns-- 

Heero: 2 Sub Machine Guns.  (**oh yeah!!!)**

Wufei: The Flame Thrower......  (**oh dear....).**

            Quatre crawled out of the way (.... mainly Wufei's), and hurried over to Duo. "Guys!!!  We have to get Duo some medical help...... and I'm not talking about that back alley shit, either, Heero!!!"

            "Quatre, take him to the hospital."  Heero replied as he kept his eyes towards the ARCHFIEND's fallen form.  

            Quatre argued, "But you said---"

            Suddenly the ARCHFIEND got up and went charging after Heero and Wufei. Mr. Chang did not hesitate to blast his flamethrower.  

Heero open fired with his guns.  "None of us will get anywhere with him chasing back and forth---JUST get the hell out of here and take care of Duo."

Wufei snapped, "That's an order, Mr. Winner—You have a much bigger mission ahead of you anyway!"

With the hail of bullets and flame showering the Cycloptic Freak--- Heero and Wufei made a perfect distraction for Quatre to escape with Duo. He made haste and carried Duo off the beach. Taking a short unwanted glance back he saw that the two survivors were luring the ARCHFIEND back to the convention center.

"Allah please keep them safe..." 

And suddenly the whole convention center burst into flames.

Quatre gasped, **"OH ALLAH!!!  Noooo!!!!"**

**3:15am.******Philsem**********Payne********Lemur********City********Holy********Hospital******

****

Even Quatre couldn't believe his own strength as he carried the young man upon his shoulders for like the past 5 city blocks.  He also couldn't believe that he made to the hospital without confronting ANY zombies, mutants, or ARCHFIEND.  Perhaps Heero and Wufei's death was not in death. He finally made it through the hospital's sliding doors and saw exactly why....

"YIIIIIIIIIIIIIEAY!!!!"  Screamed a pair of Hunters that were in the distant lobby area.  They had just finished dismembering a mercenary zombie when they sight Quatre's entrance. The hunters and the zombies basically had a free meal within the hospital--- with the patients and injured mercs inside.  And now another meal was standing before them. They didn't hesitate to take the initiative...

They moved so damn fast, Quatre didn't have time to put Duo down and take out his weapons. "Oh shit!!"  He went into a frightened crouch to the floor shielding Duo.

**FWOOOOOOOOSH!!!  Flames cut through the heavy air and ignited the hunters in mid run a few feet in front of Quatre. The scaly freaks went scampering everywhere before running into a wall and dying in a heaping pile of ash....**

"It's a good thing you ducked, Mr. Winner."  Heero calmly stated as he switched the flamethrower off.  He walked up to Quatre who was more than relieved to see him hugged him.  "Don't make me kill, Mr. Winner."

Quatre look at Heero's additional luggage upon his free shoulder and gasped, "Oh NO!!!  It got Mr. Chang!!!!"

            Heero walked past Quatre and spoke.  "He actually shielded me. It should've been me." He walked through the Medical Records Office, flamethrower in one hand, Wufei upon the other shoulder. He took a deep breath and added, "After that, I took the flamethrower and went apeshit, hit a gas pipe—causing massive destruction. All was well."

            Quatre, of course, followed with Duo upon both his shoulders and said.  "Wow, you guys really do get along.  I can't believe Mr. Chang did that."

            "Me neither. I can't stand him."

            "Oh?!"

            Heero looked around the records room.  His icy blue eyes spotted a typewriter and storage bin.  He had a feeling they were safe in this room. He laid Wufei's unconscious body upon the long work table and announced, "Leave they guys in here.  We'll go get this vaccine."

            Quatre, following actions, placed Duo upon the table next to Wufei.  "But is it safe to leave them here?  Maybe one of us should stay and..."

            Heero, ignoring Quatre's newfound whining habits, walked over to Duo's form.  He unbuttoned the boy's black vest and lifted his t-shirt.  Heero stared at the stab wound left by ARCHFIEND and frowned. The veins at his side were showing through his now paled skin and changing into a dark purplish color... much similar to the zombies and the ARCHFIEND. He placed his hand over Duo's heart....

"We don't have much time. Duo's heart is slowing down. In about 15 minutes, he's gonna turn into a zombie.  Wufei has a little more time, but you have to realize---- we have less than 3 hours to get out of here."

Quatre shook his head, "Oh my gawd.... How do we find this vaccine!!?"

            Heero responded, looking a bit surprised.  "You wanna do this?" He added, "Have a map and documentation.  This operation has to be quick. And it WON'T be easy—"

            "I DON'T want to lose anymore friends, Mr. Yuy--- Let's do this!" Quatre asserted.  He took out his guns and stormed through the doors opposite of where they came.

            "A simple 'Affirmative.' would've sufficed...." Heero mumbled before following Quatre's exit. He glanced back at Duo and Wufei. _Don't worry, guys. We got this._


	15. Fallen Heero

**Chapter 15**

**Fallen Heero**

**3:20am****.******Philsum********Peyne**********Lemur********City********Holy********Hospital****. (East elevator)**

**(13 minutes)**

As Heero and Quatre stood in the elevator, awaiting the 5th floor, our Blonde Frin couldn't help but ask a million questions.

Heero continued to glare upward towards the light up numbers of the world's SLOWEST elevator.  Quatre decided to ask:

"I don't mean to sound nosy or anything; but how come you have all this info on Lemur City and the vaccine?"

Heero continued to glare at the numbers of the ridiculous elevator and reply.  "I told you I was hired by Parasol as a mercenary. We were sent to test the creatures' ability in battle."

Quatre nodded, "Right..... well—"

Heero turned around and retorted defensively, "Well?  What are you implying? That I plotted all this to happen?"

Quatre 'verbally' beefed up and replied, "All I'm saying is that you have an AWFUL lot of info amongst all these mercs I see lying dead around here. You KNEW what was going on, didn't you?"

Heero's face contorted.  He was pissed.  "I don't have time for this shit, Mr. Winner.  Now are we going on this side mission or do you want to call it quits and carried on?"

Quatre got loud, "Perhaps I should ask you the same thing, Supervisor Yuy. You have NO intention on keeping ANY of us around--- DO YOU?!"

Judging from Heero's shocked expression, Quatre was on to something. Heero suddenly took out the flamethrower. At the same time, Quatre took out his Magnums and aimed.  Heero knew he was at a disadvantage, the Grenade Launcher was on safety mode.  He continued to stand his ground, stonefaced.

"We're nothing but.... Zombie Bait--- Is THAT right?"  Quatre shouted.  Wufei and I are mere bonuses for this assignment.  But with Duo gone, the last remaining mercenary, you get EVERYONE'S pay!"

"..." Heero continued to glare at Quatre.  "Stop reading my mind you freak---"

"AM I NOT RIGHT!?" Quatre yelled.

Heero lowered his head and sighed, "You have to----"

Suddenly the elevator doors opened to an unsuspecting Heero and he was ambushed by a herd of zombies.  They grabbed Heero from behind and pulled him into the mass. The Perfect Victim dropped his stuff and tried to get away. Quatre, dropped his guns, and grabbed Heero's arms in an effort to save him...

"Heero!!!!"  Quatre screamed pulling for all it was worth.  "Heeeeero!!!! NOOO!!!"  He finally understood Heero's thoughts....  "NO!!!!"

"T-tell....... them------ AAAARGH---"

Quatre reluctantly released Heero's arms as a zombie tried to bite down on his.  Heero had suddenly disappeared into the mob of crazed zombies to be eaten.  Then massive number of zombies soon set their sights upon Quatre. He jumped back, hitting the elevator wall. The zombies were instantly reaching for him, but they were too squished within the elevator entrance.  

Quatre thought fast.  He quickly reached for Heero's fallen Grenade Launcher and opened fire!!!!  The recoil in the small area caused Quatre to slam into the wall, denting it.  Meanwhile the zombies also went flying, in the opposite direction, as large balls of flames.

Quatre fell out of the self made dent and collapsed to the floor.  He looked up to find Heero's corpse, but could find any sign of his body.  Perhaps he burnt him to a cinder as well.  Then his vision started to blur... 

"Heero....... everybody....I'm so......soorry.... unh...."

**3:40am****.******Philsem**********Payne********Lemur********City********Holy********Hospital****. (East elevator)**

**(-7 minutes?)**

            Quatre opened his eyes, and found himself in the elevator---STILL.  He rubbed the back of his head and groaned.  Holding onto the railing, he staggered to his feet. He looked around the elevator and noticed that stuff was still scattered upon the floor......  and the alarm was on.  Someone pushed the emergency button in the elevator!

            "OH my gawd!!!!  T-The time!!! IT'S TOO LATE!!!"  Quatre screamed.  He instantly started smashing buttons to shut the alarm in the elevator off. "DAMNIT!!!!"  He squeezed his hands between the doors and forced the elevator doors open.  Soon he was able to fit his leg through and began to use all his limbs to open the elevator.  "AAAAAAYH-OOph!!!"  He shrieked, throwing himself out of the elevator and onto the floor.

            He looked around. The whole hospital was on alert.  The lights were replaced with the red emergency lights that flickered eerily down the halls.  He could hear the moans of distant zombies and the squeals of hunters through the hospital beeping alarms.

            He scrambled to his feet and reached for his weapons--- he left them on the DAMN elevator!!!! "OH FUCK!!!"  He went racing down the corridor and towards the stairwell....

**3:44am******Philsem********Payne********Lemur********City********Holy********Hospital****.**** (East Stairwell)****

            Quatre busted through the stairwell doors. He found himself in front at the Medical Records Office.  Just a few feet from the door—the elevator finally opened on its own. The alarm was off and the guns and charred remains were still inside.  

Quatre was weary of going inside—he was even MORE weary of entering the Office alone.... with the newly zombified Duo and Wufei.  He raced to the elevator, snatched the grenade launcher and magnums up and hurried out.

He approached the door and heard movement from the other side.  "Forgive me..." he whispered, before breaking open the door and opening fire---

"Huh?!"  Quatre gawked.  "Where did they go?"  He raced through the offcie room and entered the entrance lobby of the hospital. He looked towards the exit only to catch sight of closing glass doors.  He also heard two sets of footsteps—running.  Quatre went running as well out of the hospital.  "Wait!!!!"

It was raining hard.  And apparently for a while.  Deep puddles were all over the streets and everything had become drenched. Quatre took advantage of the situation, and slid down the rails along the steps and landed upon the ground.  He looked around aiming his guns.  "Where are you!!!!?"

"Run!!!  Stupid!!!  Run!!!"  yelled out a familiar voice.

"Huh?!"  Quatre blinked.  He looked down the street and spotted two forms splashing through the water around the corner.  "Heeey!!!  **FREEZE****!!!"**

Quatre ran in the same direction.  Just then the hospital exploded!!!

"WHAT THE---- AAAACK!!!"  Quatre went flying, just from the sheer force of the massive building's explosion.  "OOOph!!!"  He landed hard upon the wet asphalt with a splash.  Ruble and debris from the fallen hospital soon followed, large pieces barely missing him.

Before he could get up, two sets of hand grabbed him and yanked him up.  Quatre tried to struggle and fight but he was quickly overpowered and pinned to the ground.  

"Quatre, get a hold of yourself!!!!"  ordered another familiar voice.

Quatre's visions began to form through the drops of rain in his face and he soon recognized his superior.  "Wufei?!"

"Who did you think we were!!!" Wufei snapped, releasing his grip upon Quatre.  "Zombies?"

Duo also released The Blonde Preventer to crack up. "Wooh!!!!  Zombies!!!!  Us?!"

Quatre staggered back, keeping a suspicious eye on the both of them. "Wel... uhm..... yes."  He looked around for his twin magnums and continued, "Mr. Yuy said we had like 15 minutes to save Duo and you---"

Duo cleared his throat and asked, "So?  Where is he anyway?  I know his homicidal-suicidal ass must've set this off..."

Quatre froze.  "Uhm.... Heero?"

"Didn't you two go with Mr. Yuy to find the vaccine?  Cuz the last thing I remember was him administering the vaccine to me, and leaving." said Wufei.

Quatre stood up and place his guns away.  He took a deep breath_... This is NOT going to go well.... Especially Duo, you stared at Quatre with such happy eyes.  Perhaps Duo really thinks of Heero as his friend---despite Heero's bad intentions...oh but.. he---_

Duo spoke out, "Let's go get him!  He's probably gone ahead to the Spooky Factory—Come on let's go!!!"

All three went nowhere. Wufei and Duo were both puzzled at Quatre's lack of enthusiasm.  Eventually, Wufei caught on, deciphering Quatre's dismal expression. Just as Duo got ready to stay totally oblivious and skip off—Wu-Dawg yanked him back.

"Hold up!"  he called out.  "What the hell happened to Heero?"

"What?!"  Duo snatched his arm away.  "Nothing's wrong with him.... right?"

Quatre lowered his head and twiddled his fingers.  "I.... sorry to say this, Mr. Maxwell---"

Before Quatre could continue the new turn of events, The Braided Merc had already yanked the smaller guy by his shirt and growled, "Don't **'Mr. Maxwell' ME, asshole!!!  He's NOT DEAD!!!" **

"Not if he managed to get the vaccine...."  Quatre sighed. "Release me, please." he concluded.

Duo obeyed.  "Sorry..." He folded his arms and glared. "So, what happened?"

He took a DEEP breath. Finally, Quatre just blurted it out,  "Heero's a badguy!!!  He had plans on using us as zombie bait and mercenary bonuses."

"IT FIGURES!!!!  The PRICK!!!"  Wu-T Pie gruffed, crossing his arms and looking off towards the distance.  

Duo just stood there, mouth gaped open.

Quatre sensed this was NOT going to well with the Cheery One.  "Duo...."

"Next time we see him—we kill him as well..."  Wufei continued to rant and rave.  "We lost so many lives already--- what's one more—"

"You're a liar!!!" Duo intervened.  He aimed his shotgun towards Quatre and argued, "He saved us!!!  He's had my back ever since he threw me off of his!!!!  W-We're pals!!!! How could you!!!"

Wufei took out his Gatling Gun and aimed at Duo.  "AYE!! Quatre's not a liar!!!!  Heero can't be trusted!!!!"

Duo backed away, "We're ALL alive because of him!!!"

"No!!!  We were working together!!!"  Quatre argued.  "But now things are different!  He has his own agenda now, and it doesn't involve us!!!"

"He needed us as meat shields to get this far!!!"  Wufei added.

"But he just saved us, Wufei--- YOU know  it!!! Why are you siding with this bastard!!!  He's just jealous cuz Heero's a REAL badass!!!  And not some LOSER who can't EVEN save his allies during a time of need like Heero just did!!!"

Quatre got pissed.  He instantly took out his Magnums and placed his fingers on the triggers.  "ENOUGH!!!!  Except the facts or get the fuck out!!!!"

"Fuck you!!!!"  Duo screamed shotgun still aimed towards the Preventers. "I hope what you say is only half true---that way, he can kill you two BASTARDS!!!! He instantly took off, running down the dark alleyway and disappeared.

Both Preventers dropped their weapons and took deep breaths.

"That worked out...."Wufei puffed.

Quatre felt like shit..... (guilty, perhaps) and uttered,  "No, it didn't, Mr. Chang. If Heero finds Duo.... with the way he feels about us now..."

"So?"

Quatre yelled, "Don't you see?! Heero's not going to take us out---- Parasol wants us ALIVE!"

Wufei asked, "That's great.  How the hell is he gonna haul both of us-----OH!!!!"

Quatre gestured, "Yeah, Wufei----He's going get Duo to help him capture us and then kill him." He raced past Wufei and called out, "We gotta find Duo before it's too late!!!"

Wufei stomped after him and sighed,  "Sure whatever..."


	16. The Hunter, The Hunted and the HUNGRY?

** Chapter 16**

**The Hunter, The Hunted... and the ...HUNGRY?**

**4:10am.********Lemur********City********Cemetery****. **

            ".....***GRUMBLE* Dirty Bastards!!!  I'll show them!!!!  Heero's not bad—he's just ****homicidal... and ****cranky.  ****Quatre and **Hong Kong Wu-ey** just have major **Grade A, corn-fed BEEF!!!**"**

Duo continued through the DARK, OMNIOUS, and of course FOGGY cemetery alone.  He was truly at a lost for words....If not for the ranting and raving.  He was SO PISSED.  He made a bunch of kewl friends—then they all turned into ASSHOLES!!!

            ".... ***MUTTER*... They **SUCK**!!!!"  he shouted to the top of his lungs!!!!  When he finished his loud rant, he looked around the cemetery for danger.  "Heh, I'm in the middle of the graveyard--- Resident of the Dead--- and I haven't seen a single zombie."**

            Suddenly there was a rumble.

            ***RUMBLE***

            Duo staggered to the ground it started to shake.  "Maaan!!!  I need to shut the fuck up----WHOOOOA!!!"  Without warning the earth lifted up from under him and he went flying.  

            He crashed into the muddy lawn.  **SPLAT!!**

"WHAT the DUDE!!!" Duo clamored as he staggered to his feet.  "UHhhhh---AAAAAAYH!!!"

            "MEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeP!!!"  A LARGE mutated Mole.... type creature..... but it sorta looks like a ---------

            "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!!  A Mole monster!!!!!!"  Duo screamed.

            The mole.... or potato type creature had patches of dark and dirty hair. On its dusty bare skin it had little, strange growths or 'spuds' all over its body. The mole-thing opened its mouth to reveal two, huge, jagged front teeth and some hideous halitosis.

            "Hoo-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!" it boomed.

            "!!!" 

Duo took off running. The mole burrowed into the ground, tunneling after him.  Just as the Black Clad Mercenary was heading through the park gate, the mole had cornered him off and slashed at him with his heavily clawed paws!!!! Duo avoided the assault by jumping backwards and falling over a tombstone----  "AAAAyh-----OOoph!!!"

OK... he actually goofed the second part.

The mutant mole crawled towards Duo in an attempt to bite his legs.  Duo suddenly kicked the tombstone in its mouth—knocking out its teeth.  He tried to crawl away but the creature grabbed his ankles and pulled him backward.

"Oh—Nooooooooo!" he screamed clutching onto anything; grass, dirt, Heero's boot---- Heero's boot!!!??

"Do you EVER stay out of trouble?"

  
            Heero shot the creature through the mouth. The creature dropped dead, releasing its grip on Duo. The Messy Haired Terror hoisted Duo up and walked over to the mole...

"Whoo-Boy!  Thanx for saving me!  I'm so glad to see you, Heero!" Duo exclaimed.  

Heero totally ignored Duo for the mole... or potato creature on the ground...

"... and you WON'T BELIEVE what Quatre and Wufei had to say about....  Uhm.... Heero?  Heero?! What are you doing over there?  It's dead!  Get away from the damn mole-thing....

Heero slowly kneeled down beside the monster and sniffed it.

Duo exclaimed, "What the FUCK are you-----"

Heero bit the creature--- taking a huge chuck out of its side. **CHOMP!!!**

**"OH SHIT!!!" Duo staggered backwards and screamed, "**EWWWWWE!!!  FUCK!!!!  MAAAAAAAN!!! WHAT THE HELL IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, DUDE!!!!"** **

Heero swallowed and wiped his bloodied mouth. He took out his machete and started chopping pieces of the beast and eating more.  He looked over to Duo who was mortified.

**"Wholly SHIIIIT!!!  You're a zombie eater!!!!"**

"What?" Heero mumbled through chewing.  "It's just a mole-tato."

"No!!" Duo gagged, "It's just a raggedy monster mole!!! **WHY are you eating the DAMN MOLE!!!?"**

"It's no different from a potato, Duo. Calm down..."

Duo went into hysterics as Heero dug in.  "No!!!!!  It' is NOT!!!  **Moles have ****eyes!!!! They live underground!!!**

Heero spat out a piece of mole-tato bone and returned, "So do potatoes. They are also dirty and brown.  You want a piece?"

"**Hell no!! You ghoul!!!"** Duo started to stagger away.  "**GaWd DAMN!** That's **fucking gross!"**

"Come on, stop being a snob.  You were trying to eat that toxic shit in a can!!"  Heero reminded Duo.  "Satanic Pete's Billowing Nuclear Brimstone Chili---Oh wait. **Now with goat meat and lard! **Oh, Excuse me for forgetting, that important part. You sick monkey---I mean goat meat---how barbaric."

            Duo turned around to give Heero the oddest glare.  He couldn't believe this **modern day caveman just snubbed eating a farm animal.  "I'll have you know GOAT MEAT is DAMN good!!!"**

            Heero gulped down what seemed to be the heart of the mole-tato carcass and argued, "**Goats are **fucking** gross!!!  Who eats that shit! They eat ****ANYTHING!!!  You wanna put that in your system!!!"**

            Duo yelled, "Oh whatever!!! **NORMAL ****GOATS are raised to eat grass and grains----but your ****MUTANT VALUE MEAL over there tried ****TO EAT ME!!!"**

            Filled, Heero stood up from the dead creature and wiped his face from the remains and carried on with the argument.  "Get over yourself!  It was **ONLY** protecting its territory." 

            "Did you hear what the **FUCK I just said, Heero?!?!  It's a **MUTANT FREAK MOLE MONSTER!!!! AND YOU ARE EATING IT**!!!"**

            Heero belched. He then said, "Correction: It's a **mole-tato**."

            "Heero you're like inventing shit over here!" Duo exclaimed. 

"Part **mole**. Part **potato.  It's like a meat and potato stew on feet."  Heero added.  "It's **fucking** awesome.  Are you sure you don't want any?  There are a few vital organs. The blood is still warm?"**

            Duo turned away from Heero and rushed off.  **"GGGRRRRRRP  URRRRRGH Urp!!!!"  He went to puking his brains out in a bush nearby.**

            Heero shrugged, "Fine, be that way---**UuuUUrp!!!!!!----** Whoo damn! Excuse me..."

**4:20am.********Lemur********City********Cemetery******

****

Quatre and Wufei made the scene.  The fog was especially thick.  Like Silent Hill 2 (the mist-is-a-moving-fucking-wall-X-Box-version) thick. They made haste through the cemetery in order to approach the park gates.

"Oomph!!!"  Wufei grunted as he tripped a large lump in the middle of gravesite.  He rolled over and shot whatever it was he tripped over--- blasting a few bullets into it.  "**DIE**!!!"

Quatre also aimed at the large lump on the ground.  "What is it!?"

Wufei stood up and examined the mass.  "It's a body of some sort of creature...or its remains..."

"**Eewe**!  Something ate it!"  Quatre exclaimed.  "Wufei.... I don't wanna know **what did this...."**

Wufei reloaded his weapon and agreed, "Me neither. Let's get the hell out of here."

"Yeah...."

Quatre and Wufei hurried through the park gates.

**Meanwhile in the ****Lemur********City********Park****. Manager's Office.**

            Duo searched through a storage bin, which was placed conveniently next to a typewriter.  Heero was in the middle of the cabin den going through various papers he found on the table. Duo did find it kind of odd that Heero a tad bit more concerned with playing secretary rather than mercenary...

            _Could Quatre be telling the truth?_  Duo thought.  _Nah!!!  He'd killed me a long while ago.  Besides he could've let the mole eat me—ergo, not waste any ammo killing me.  Hmph, he could just eaten me like that damn mole---carnivorous creep---_

            "Duo."

            Duo dropped everything.  "Wha?!?"

            Heero continued scanning through the papers as he spoke.  "Did anything happen while you were with Mr. Winner and Mr. Chang?"

            _Oh shit!!!  What to say?!?!  Fuck!!! Why can't I answer!!!!_  "Uhm... I just got separated.  We were ambushed by some zombies and......"

            Heero's eyes left the papers.  "Duo."

            "....W-what?!" Duo wanted to run and hide caused he really sucked at telling lies.

            "You are a terrible liar, Duo."  (**Author's note: See?) Heero continued to interrogate. "Did Quatre tell you anything?"**

            "Uhm...  Well..."

            "There's no need to lie. I followed you a short while before you were attacked by my dinner, Duo." Heero revealed. He finished scanning through his papers and started reloading his Enhanced Desert Eagle.  "In fact I've been following you since you separated from the Preventers."  He slowly got up from the table...

            "Eyagh!!!!"  Duo yelped.  He got up from the floor and slowly started to creep as far away from Heero as possible.  "Why did you ask?!?!?!  Why are you following me!!! You're gonna kill me—You crazy son-of-a-bitch!!!"

            Duo looked over to his left and spotted a lead pipe. _Hey!  That might do the trick!_  He made a mad dash....

            Heero calmly walked towards him....

            Duo grabbed the lead pipe.  "Stay away, **mothafucker—OR---"**

            Heero was a few feet away, beside one of the table chairs **(Author's note: Okay, this isn't a good thing...**).  He smirked, "Duo, what are you doing?"

            "I'm about to hit a homerun with your fucking head, if you come any closer!!!"  Duo warned.  "Now stay---- OW!!!"

            Within a matter of nanoseconds Duo caught that **GAWD DAMN** table chair in his chest **(Author's note: Y'See?!)** and went flying through a window!  

            **CRASH!!!!**

**4:27 AM****.  ****Lemur********City********Park****.  Walkway.**

            The Preventers were well on their way to the Spooky Factory, when they heard glass breaking from a distance.

"What was that noise?!"  Quatre uttered.

            "We're armed like a brigade---Let's check it out!"  Wufei ordered.

            Wufei and Quatre hurried back towards the park.  

            "We must've missed something. Duo may still be alive!"  Wufei huffed.  Running with a Gatling Gun can be quite burdensome.

            They finally approached the Manager's Office and discovered something or someone had broken out of one of the windows. Quatre hurried to the door and kicked it down.  Wufei followed.  They saw a bunch of papers upon the table and a few weapons left behind.  The Enhanced Shotgun, Duo carried was among them.  Pieces of a table chair were in front of the smashed window.  Quatre ran towards the window and looked outside.

            "They were here!"  Quatre exclaimed.

            Wufei looked through the papers upon the table.  He read a few lines and frowned.  "I was kinda hoping you were wrong.  These papers state they want us (Preventers) alive and all but ONE of the mercs dead. Can you guess which one?"

            Quatre nodded, "Heero Yuy: He's in training.  He's going to be an agent for Parasol." _But he doesn't want to go through with it anymore...._

            "Oh shit Quatre, look out!!!!"  Wufei called out.

**   "SPARKLES!!!!"**

            Quatre barely dodged the ARCHFIEND's massive tentacle spiking through the damaged window.  He crawled under the table as Wufei opened fire upon the ARCHFIEND. Shower of bullets seemed to just piss the monster off.  It smashed through the remains of the window and stomped through the office after Quatre.  It suddenly lifted the table up and tossed it towards Wufei.

**          "Fuuuuck!!!"**  Wu-lan Rouge yelled as he tossed the weapon aside and went hauling ass out the door. He looked back inside and noticed he had tossed the still fully loaded weapon in a nearby fireplace.  **"Oh shiiiiit!"**

            Quatre looked back and noticed what his superior had done and also took off like the wind.....

            **KA-BOOOOOOM!!!!! The blast sent the ARCHFIEND flying into Quatre, who went flying into Wufei.  All three went flying towards the walkway...**

            **"OOOOOWWW!" Wufei went sliding across the walkway and rolled out onto the bridge. "Oh gawd the pain..."**

            **"AAAAAAAyh!!!" Quatre flipped over Wufei and went rolling past the bridge and slid into a wall.**

            The ARCHFIEND didn't go that far but he landed close enough to Wufei to freak him out.  **"GRRRRRRRRR......!!!"**

            **"Oh damn!!!" Wufei exclaimed. He scampered to his feet and ran down the bridge.**

            The ARCHFIEND was quick-smart!!! It leapt into the air and landed right in front of  Wufei.

            **"Oooph!!!"**  Wufie's sudden stop made him fall on his bum. "What the fuck!?!?" 

            Quatre sat up from the ground and saw that Preventer Dragon was in serious trouble.  "Oh shit!! Chang jump over the bridge!!!"  He took out his grenade launcher---

            **SQUEAK!!!  Trowa landed right in front of Quatre and kicked the weapon right out of his hand. **

            **"Ack!!!"**  Quatre screamed.  "What are you doing here!?!?!  You're alive---**MMRPH!!!"**

            Trowa grabbed Quatre by the face and tossed him off the bridge and into a waterfall.

            "yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

            "Quatre!!!"  Wufei shouted to his soon to be drowned friend. He looked straight ahead and saw the ARCHFIEND and Trowa were coming closer. He took out a katana and got ready to fight to the death..... (**Mainly his own).  "Alright ****BASTARDS!!!  I'M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!"**

            Suddenly the ARCHFIEND swung his tentacle arm at Wufei. The Nagging Dragon took a swing----

            **"AAAAAAARGH!!!!" The ARCHFIEND hollered in pain. His mutated arm went flying, pieces of it were still wiggling landed on the bridge.**

            Suddenly Trowa took to the air and landed in front of Wufei.  The Remaining Preventer took another swing, but Trowa dodge it and punched Wufei dead in the gut.  He staggered backwards dropping the katana. Trowa rushed Wufie and went to punch him in the face, but Wufei blocked and elbowed Trowa in the neck!!!  Trowa immediately moved away to catch his breath.  Wufei didn't give Trowa a chance to catch jack shit---he ran up to him and spun kicked Trowa to the side!!!!  Trowa slammed into the railing, and Wufei continued the assault by grabbing his legs and flipping him over the bridge!!!

            **".....................!!!!!!"**

            "Bye-Bye, **BITCH!" Wufei grunted.**

            **"Roooooooooaaar!!!!"  The ARCHFIEND was pissed.  He already up on his feet when punched Wufei in his back---- with his good hand.**

            "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!"

            Just as Wufei left the scene---- unwillingly---- Duo came running out.  He scampered out onto the bridge and froze upon seeing the ARCHFIEND. He was running for his life from Heero only to run into the One-Eyed Tyrant.... (uhm...  that didn't sound right......)

            **"Oh....FUCK!!!!" Duo exclaimed.  He started to go back. ****"Oh FUCKING SHIT!!!"**

            Heero emerged from the walkway.  He, too walked out onto the bridge.  "I'm not going to kill you, Duo--- HOLY SHIT!!!!  The ARCHFIEND is ALIVE?!?!" He also noticed the ARCHFIEND. "Get out of the way Duo."

            **"You're just gonna kill me ANYWAY!!!!  I'm not listening to you!!!"**

            Heero had his target, now if only Duo would just---- **"MOVE!!!!  BAKA!!!"**

            **"TWO!!!!"  The ARCHFIEND instantly recognized Duo and went for the kill.  He grabbed Duo by the braid and lifted him up. He held Duo over the side of the bridge, a few hundred feet over raging waterfall.  ****"SPARKLES!!!!!" The Gigantic Freak STILL wants that club shirt on Heero!!!!!**

            Heero---now armed with a Rocket Launcher—grunted in ire. "He's the only reason you're not dead right now.  You drop him and I'm going ape shit with a LOT of napalm rockets--- **YOU ARE NOT GETTING MY GAWD DAMN SHIRT!!!"**

            "I am!!!! It's MY fucking shirt!!!!"  Duo shouted, kicking at the ARCHFIEND!!!! Even though he was no condition to go talking shit—he also REALLY wanted that shirt.  "Let me go!!!!"

            Suddenly the ARCHFIEND's severed arm grew back!!!  It formed into multiple tentacles that started to twist together and form one large, sharp, spear. He slowly moved it towards Duo's head.

            "HN?!?!"  Heero steadied his aim.  He soon realized this creature meant business at the cost of his only friend.  "ALRGHT!!!! **ALRIGHT**!!! **SHIT!!!"  He dropped the weapon and started removing the club shirt....**

            Duo began stretching for the end of his braid.  He began to untie the band that kept the brown mess together.  _Shit!!! I'm gonna die!!!  But, I can't let this big freak squeeze his big ass into the kewlest shirt ever!!!! Suddenly the band was off, and the hair instantly starting unraveling....  **"Hey!!! Bitch!!!  You lose****!!!"  With that being said; Duo instantly smashed his boot into the ARCHFIEND's head and fell out of the mutant's grip! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!"**_

            "Hn?!?" Heero was at his last button when he saw that Duo was gone... in a plummeting large mass of brown hair._ He REALLY should consider cutting that...  He quickly grabbed the Rocket Launcher and blasted the ARCHFIEND in the face!!!!_

            The ARCHFIEND went flying all the way down the bridge and crashed into the building on the other side. He went from huge towering hunk of mutated sinew to a pile of smoldering..... goo in a matter of seconds...

            Heero stalked towards the charred remains of the ARCHFIEND.  He took out his Enhanced Desert Eagle emptied a whole clip on the remains. "And THAT was for Duo, FUCK-HEAD." he uttered. Satisfied, he walked towards the Spooky Factory and continued on with his mission.


	17. When Sugar Daddies ATTACK pt 2!

**Chapter 17**

**When Sugar Daddies **

**ATTACK **

**pt 2!!!**

**4:45AM.**** Underground Waterway. ****Lemur********City**** Dey B. Spooky Factory.**

"Huh?"

Quatre found himself perched upon a fence, hanging by his baby blue colored, Nike Sports shirt. He was lucky.  That long fall into a waterfall turned out to be a short cut into the very center of the Spooky Factory.  However he had to fall a few more feet in order to reach the ground from the fence's barbed topping. 

_Gawd, I hate doing this._  Quatre took a deep breath and raised his arms. ** "AAAyh—Ooph!!!"  He fell to the ground, sans his designer shirt. _I wonder if Mr. Chang is alright._**

The Wife Beater Clad Blonde gathered his weapons, also washed up against the Factory fence and headed down the waterway.

He heard some splashing up ahead and got cautious.  Danger was definitely near.  He hurried towards the noise, splashing the whole way.  Quatre got around the corner and spotted a couple of Stalkers surrounding someone.  Unfortunately, it seemed that the person was already done for as it lay across a set of stairs motionless.  It didn't matter to the Preventer Medic---  some freaks were getting their asses kicked tonight!!!

**"BACK OFF!  FUCKERS!!!"  Quatre shouted as he took out his Twin Magnums and fired!!! ****"WHOOOOOOOOOA!!!!!"**

More like backfired. Apparently, the guns took in too much water and the recoil got more powerful, sending Quatre flying back like thirty feet in a stream of water and fire. He crashed through a wall.

Seeing a more lively meal before them, the Hunters went towards Quatre.

**Ka-BLAM!!!!  A rocket went soaring towards the mutated herd—blasting them into....  nothingness.**

As Quatre crept through the hole in the wall. He spotted someone with a VERY large weapon heading towards the body down the waterway. His eyes were STILL to blurry to make out the form but he had an idea who both bodies were.... "H-Heero!!!!?"

Suddenly, the figure stopped walking, and the sound a rocket being reloaded was heard. Quatre hurried out of the wall and blindly headed down the waterway. He couldn't see shit!!! His vision was still messed up from the blast—he may be blind—but he didn't want to die, too!!!

Heero headed toward Quatre was literally running blind.

"You are going to die, Mr. Winner."  Heero announced as he closed in on Quatre with his Rocket Launcher.  

Quatre stood up against the wall.  He groaned,  "You don't want to do this, Mr. Yuy.  Y-You can't. You really can't..."  He peered up and tried to focus on the towering blur.  "I-I know why...."

Heero hoisted the weapon up and aimed.  "Oh yeah, why?"

"Because we got a Harpoon Launcher—**BEOTCH!!!"  Duo and Wufei shouted.  They fired the large Harpoon Launcher.  KA-CHOK!!!!**

"hN??!" Heero dropped his weapon and jumped out of the way. But Harpoon exploded, shooting forth a giant net--- capturing Heero and slamming him into a wall and pinning him there. "Where in the **HELL did you get this?!?!"**

Quatre crawled away from Heero and the net and yelled,  "Duo?!?!  Wufei??!  You guys are alive?!?!  But How?!?!"

Wufei dropped the Harpoon Launcher and helped Quatre to his feet.

"We both sorta washed up somewhere..." Duo replied.

"I ended up outside of the storage area, where I found the Harpoon Launcher." Wufei spoke.

"I feel down a drainage pipe and nearly died."  Duo smiled.

"I'm so glad to see you guys!!!" Quatre's vision eventually cleared and he recognized Duo.... well sorta.  "What's with your hair?"

Duo tried to push his mane back and admitted, "I realized you guys were right about Heero being a **PUNK-ASS TRAITOR**...."

Wufei elbowed Duo in the side.

"AND he was trying to kill me!"  Duo added.

Heero shouted, "You himbo!!!  I only hit you with a chair because you had the fucking lead pipe!!!"

"You had a fucking Desert Eagle!!!" Duo shouted back.

"Did I **USE** the **FUCKING Desert Eagle!!!!!!!?"**

"Uhm... no..."

Quatre intervened,  "Hey!!! Guys!! We shouldn't be fighting!!!"

Duo picked up the Harpoon Launcher and shook his head, "I suppose you're right, Quatre—AFTERALL we ARE working together.

Quatre sighed, "I'm so happy see that we----- What?!?!"

Heero calmly ordered, "Fire the gun, Duo."

Duo grinned, "Will do!!!"  The Long Haired Terror fired the Harpoon at Wufei which burst into a net and slammed him against a wall—cracking it.  **"Boo-yah!!!"**

Quatre screamed, "What the Hell are you doing Duo?!?!"

 "I really should've done more to those guns of yours, Quatre. That way you wouldn't see when I do THIS!!!"

**KA-CHOK!!! Duo fired the harpoon at Quatre—he went flying through a wall—revealing another room.**

"Oooh!! Bonus we found a secret area!!!"  Duo cooed as he walked over to Heero and snatched the bolts out of the wall, freeing him.  

"Thank you."  Heero stepped down, landing in the water.  "Let's carry on shall we?" 

"Ya, dude!"

Wufei called out, "Duo!!!! After all we've been through---WHY?!"

"2 words: 10 million dollars!!!"  Duo announced.

"That's like 3 words, Duo."

"Oh---Okay!!! 3 words!  And we're splitting the money!"  Duo revealed.

Heero, ever so observant, corrected him, "Uhm... Duo that's 5---"

"Gawd damn, dude. I wasn't talking about what I just said---"

_I got 2 words, mother fuckers!!!_ **"GOLDBERG!!!!" Quatre boomed as he went charging into Duo and Heero from behind.  He slammed them into Wufei, who was STILL ensnared in the net.**

**"OW!!!"  Wufie-Oh groaned when Heero's head crashed into his gut. Duo went flying into Wufei's groin--- **"EEEEEEEEEk!!!!"****

"I'm so sorry!!!"  Quatre apologized.  

"Quatre don't worry about me! **Get them!!!"**

"Oh?!?"  Quatre realized. He turned around and barely dodged Duo's fist—

Which accidentally connected with Wufei's gut....?

**"Ow!!!!  Move this shit someplace else—****ASSHOLES!!!!"**

"My bad!!"  Duo apologized.  **"Whoa!!!!"**

Quatre grabbed Duo's arm and slung him down the waterway.  He went crashing into the platform steps—right where Quatre found him.

Suddenly, Heero's fist connected with the back of Quatre's head.  The Blonde Bruiser went flying down the waterway and into the water.  Heero rushed over towards Quatre and submerged his head.  Quatre grabbed Heero from behind and yanked his tiny bikini underwear from under his pants—**HARD!!!**

"yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"  Heero screamed as he suddenly fell into the water and tried to fix his painful wedgie.  "DAMN YOU----  oww-ow-ow!!!! You pick these grape smugglers, you FREAK!!!!"

"Like I said before: **AT LEAST THEY HAVE A CROTCH!!!!  Argh!!!" Quatre got up from the water and punched Heero in the face. **

**BAW!!!!  Heero went flying through the water and went under.**

"Get the HARPOON LAUNCHER!!!"  Wufei hollered, as he was desperately trying to get free from the net.  "Shoot him NOW!!!!"

Quatre hurried over to the fallen weapon and aimed it at the now still water.  "Huh??!"

"Oh shit he hasn't come up yet?!?!   Be careful!!!" Wufei exclaimed.

Quatre looked around.  Heero was nowhere in sight.  _How long could this jerk hold his breath?  He slowly climbed up to the ledge to set Wufei free. "Are you okay?!"_

"I got hit in the gut twice—NO."  Wufei grumbled as he struggled out of the net.  He looked out towards the ledge and went pale,  "Uhm... Duo's gone."

Quatre turned around and gasped,  "No way!!!"

Sure enough Duo and Heero were gone.  The also noticed that the ledge Duo was on led to the exit.  Wufei and Quatre looked at each other and nodded.  They were taking a chance, but they needed to carry on.

They approached the ledge and climbed the ladder...

****

**5:15AM.**** Lemur City Spooky Factory.  Examination Room.**

            Quatre and Wufei looked around.  They spotted a storage bin.  Once again it was placed next to a typewriter on a table.  Ignoring that bit of oddness, the two Preventer plundered through the various needed weapons and ammo.

            "Hey!!!  I got a bow gun!!!"  Quatre beamed.

            Wufei took out a large weapon of destruction--- "Whoa, I got a **B**ig **Fucking ****Gun!!!!!" **(Okay so I'm a DOOM fan—PLEASE don't sue me!!)**.  **

            Quatre cringed,  "Uhm... hey!!!!  Look, I found two kadotchi knives!!!!"

            "**HELL YEAH!!!"  Wufei exclaimed.  "Give me those!!!"**

            "Put the **Big **F**ucking ****Gun down, Mr. Chang."**

            "Okay!"  Wufei tossed the massive weapon out the window. A loud explosion sounded along with a bright loud green glow emanated from outside.  Totally ignoring all of that Wufie took hold of the ninja weaponry.  "This is the bomb!"

            Quatre sighed in relief.  He reached inside the bin and took out two Platinum Magnums.  "Oooh......  I like!"  He picked up the stash of enhanced Platinum Tipped Magnum Rounds and got up from the storage bin.  "Okay I'm ready for anything."

            "Good, let's get out of here—we have less than 2 hours."  Wufei announced, packing more weapons and ammo.  

**5:20AM. Spooky Factory. Observatory Corridor.**

            Quatre and Wufei strolled through the brightly lit hallway... 

            "Do you think we'll EVER see them again?"  Quatre asked.

            "Who?"

**Meanwhile. Spooky Factory. Observatory Corridor (just around the corner).**

            A 'well adjusted' Heero and a 'newly braided' Duo were walking down the brightly lit corridor.

            "According to the map--- more weapons are stored right around the corner of this hallway..."  Duo informed Heero as they headed towards their destination.

            "Hn..."

**5:21AM. Spooky Factory. Observatory Corridor (at the corner).**

            All four boys met bumped into each other half way.  Former allies turned vicious foes--- confronting each other once again!!!!  This could be the FINAL showdown between these boys!!!!  What's gonna happen next------

            Heero grunted,  "Well, well!  It's the targets!"

            "ALRIGHT!!!!  More money for the both of us!!!"  Duo cheered.

            Quatre gasped,  "Targets?!?! Money?!?!"

            Wufei revealed, "Heero's bribing Duo to help him in our capture!"

            "No, Duo!!!  You got it ALL wrong!!!"  Quatre called out.  "He plans to use you to capture us and then KILL YOU!!!"

            "CORRECTION:  I got it all RIGHT!!!"  Duo shouted.  "You bastards were using us a zombie bait to escape!!!"

            Quatre glared at Heero,  "Oh, NOW you're turning this shit on us?!?!?  Why are you letting Parasol manipulate you!!!  You're being a TOTAL TOOL!!!"

            Heero was enraged!!!!  "No one's using me!!!!  I am not a tool!!!"

            Duo took out the Rocket Launcher and yelled.  "Oh **fuck this!!!  Let's ****BLOW EVERYTHING UP!!!!"**

            Wufei acted fast and roundhouse-kicked Duo in the face---- sending him flying down the hallway.  **"Shut up!!!"**

            Heero palm smacked Wu-Lee in the nose.  He too went flying down the hallway, on the opposite side.  **"DON'T TELL HIM TO SHUT-UP!! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"**

            **"Grr!!!"  Quatre pulled back and back-fisted Heero across the face.  "**Don't palm smack my superior in the FUCKING nose--- you SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP!!!!  Parasol Boy Toy!!!!"****

            Heero went crashing into the side of the wall.  He glared at Quatre.  Heero's eyes went from cobalt to ice in a matter of seconds. His hair went from bishie messy to Sayajin disaster in a matter of seconds. He released an ungodly roar: **"Omae O Kuruso---YOU FUCK-TARD!!!!"**

            Quatre freaked out!!!  "Oh my---AAAAAAYH!!!!!!"

            The Blue Eyed Terror was too quick! Within NANOSECONDS found himself being thrown down the hallway---- he and Wufei came from.  His body smashed into the Examination Room door--- and he landed upon the floor---cracking it!

            **"Ow!!!!"  By the time The Blonde Creampuff looked up—Heero was already there.  **"Oh** **SHII----AAAACK!!!"**  **

            Heero lifted Quatre by the neck and repeatedly slammed his body against the door--- eventually breaking it open.  He launched Quatre across the newly opened room.  Quatre crashed into the storage bin, smashing that open.

            Heero approached Quatre's body to stomp him a new asshole—when Wufei came up from behind him and smashed the typewriter—which was connected to the table—against his back.

            "ARGH!!!!"  Heero hollered. He turned around and got ready to swing.  "**You'll for that----MMMRPH!!!"**

            **"GOTCHA!!!" Quatre got up, grabbed Heero from underneath and slammed in through the examination table.**

            Wufei and Quatre stood over Heero's unconscious body and took deep breaths.  But the break didn't start just yet.  Duo rushed into the room—with a Rocket Launcher.  

            "Oh crap!!!"  Wufei and Quatre screamed backing up against a wall.

            Duo looked over towards Heero who was knocked the fuck out and shouted, "YOU ARE SO WASTED!!!!"  He aimed and ----"Oh!!!"  A shiny, black whip wrapped around his neck and snatched him out of the room. In the process he dropped the Rocket Launcher.  **(Yay!!!) ----However....**

            Quatre and Wufei ran out of the room to catch Trowa standing with his foot planted on Duo's neck.  He looked towards the two and smirked.  Meanwhile his foot applied more and more pressure to Duo's neck.

            "UNNNNnnnh!!!!"  Duo gagged, trying to pry Trowa's foot off.

            Quatre shouted, "Cut it out!!!  Trowa this isn't the real you!!!"  

            "..."  The Green Eyed Assailant continued to stare, applying more pressure.

            "uNNH...."  Duo was losing consciousness.  His struggles were once again becoming weak and vision started blurring.

            Quatre and Wufei ran towards Trowa, who lashed out his whip and slashed both of them across the neck---- Both boys were now on the floor fighting for air.  They looked on helplessly as Trowa continued killing Duo.

            **"..."****  Trowa taunted, as he readied his whip to slash them again.  He looked past them for something caught his eye.  "????------!!!!!!!"**

            Suddenly Trowa removed his foot from Duo's neck—much to Duo's relief and salvation--- and dove to the floor for cover.  A napalm rocket went soaring through the hallway piercing the hallway wall and exploding in the next room.

            Wufei quickly recovered---being hit in the larynx before and all--- he looked back at the decimated Examination Room and saw Heero.  He obviously recovered from being slammed through a table and was not afraid to use the Rocket Launcher in close quarters.  He marched through the hallway, weapon aimed at Trowa.

            Wufei thought of a way to spare the crazed Preventer quick.  "Take out Trowa and you're losing MORE money--- He's also a Preventer!!!

            Heero looked over to Wufei and changed his aim.  "Well, then, I guess I get to kill you after all!"

            Duo staggered to his feet and teased, "Yeah--***cough-cough* **he **NEVER liked YOU---- ah-hahaha---*****cough-choke-cough* Nyah--*****cough-cough*!!!"**

            Without warning, Trowa kicked Heero's legs from under him.  As Heero landed upon the floor—Trowa kicked him in the face. He flipped to his feet and got ready to attack Duo.

Wufei kicked Trowa in the side--- slamming him into the wall.  Wufei grabbed Trowa by the Unibang and threw him to the floor.  Just when he was about to stomp his foot into his face, Duo tackled Wufei from behind and hurtled him to the floor.  Duo straddled Wufei's back and punched him in the back of the head.

**"Sha-ZAM!!!!"  Duo shouted.  He pulled Wufei's head back and got ready to slam his face into the floor—**

**"Winner Elbow Drop!!!!"**  Quatre ran over to Duo, and did just that, upon his back.  As Duo rolled off Wufie's back, Quatre got up and yanked Duo up by the hair.  **"Followed by the French Braided Body DROP!!!"  Quatre did just that slamming him into the floor.**

            **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!!"  Duo yelled when his bum made harsh contact with the floor. He suddenly wrapped his arm around Quatre's leg and shouted, ****"Let's DO THIS!!!"**

            **"Yuy Special SPEAR!!!" Heero rushed up to Quatre and speared him into the floor.  He got up from the floor and kicked Quatre in the gut several times, before Wufei stopped him---**

            **With a kadotchi in the thigh!!! **

**"Dragon Chang Stinger!!!!"  Wufei yelled.  He snatched the knife out of Heero's thigh and looked around.  "...W-what?!"**

Quatre got up and frowned, "Uhm, well..."

"You're like SO trying to fit in----**DORK!!!"  Duo jested.**

"Barely a scratch!!!" Heero examined his thigh and scoffed, "**Dragon** **Chang?!?!?  ****Stinger??!  Don't make me laugh!  The cow is ****ALREADY dead!"**

He kicked Wufei in the chest!!!! The Angry One went slamming into a wall.  Quatre tried to take a swing at Heero---

The Mercenary of Death caught his fist. "Ha-Ha!!" 

**"Huh?!?!"  Quatre gasped.  **"Gr!!!"  **He took another swing---**

Heero caught the OTHER fist. "Hn."  The Perfect Mercenary grinned.

Suddenly BOTH boys kicked Quatre in the gut--- sending him flying down the hallway and through a wall-----**CRASH!!!!!!!**

**"Outstanding!"  Heero and Duo proclaimed (Mortal Kombat style).**

Heero took out his Desert Eagle and headed around the corner.  "I don't care about the bonuses, Duo... Let's just take them **ALL** out."

Duo took out his Twin Gold Revolvers and nodded, "Right."  He aimed his guns at Wufei's fallen form and smiled, "So sorry we have to end our play session, Mr. Chang."

 "Uhm....  Duo...."  Heero spoke from around the corner.

"WHAAAAaaaaaAAAAT?!!"

Heero ran past Duo and Wufie Lawless and hauled ass down the hallway!!!!  "Run!!!"

Duo lost all attention from Wufei and hurried after Heero.  Wufei staggered to his feet and peered around the corner.

"AAAAAh!!!"  The 5Th Survivor screamed he took to running as well. "HOLY SHIT!!!!!"

Trowa had a fully loaded Tachyon Cannon upon his shoulder!!!!

All three boys dove through the wall Quatre made through the wall.  Trowa quickly turned the corner and fired.

**BZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!**

**A ****HUGE ****Orange**** and Yellow beam went blasting through the hole in the wall!!!  **

**The beam continued through the other side of the wall and blasted through the building!!!  **

**It went piercing through the park trees and out into the city---- blazing through several skyscrapers!!!!  **

**Eventually it cut through a mountain and went through WHOLE skylines through various cities in other states and eventually decimated a small desert base in ****Iraq****!!!!**

**(WhaaaaAAAAT?!)**

**5:35AM.**** Spooky Factory Bio Waste Disposal Area.**

Anyway—back to the boys..... They fell pretty far down into the factory's disposal area.  Duo landed upon a lump of dead bodies.  Wufei crashed upon bags of body parts.  Heero landed on the hard metal floor--- next to Quatre.

Quatre woke out of his unconscious slumber to find a newly unconscious Heero lying next to him.... topless.  "Huh?!?!?  What happened to the shirt?!?!"

Duo peered upward to find Heero's shirt---or what was left of it---- floating down to the ground....

"Wh-what the **FUCK!!!!!  MY HAIR!!!!!**"  Duo grabbed his braid only to find that it was only HALF its length.  The end of what remained---- was melted together and wreaked of that burnt hair smell. Duo instantly went into hysterics, crying his ass off!!! **"WHY GAWD WHY!!!!  MY HAIR!!! FUCKING HAIR USED TO GO PAST MY ASS AND NOW-----!!!!"**

"Oooh!!!  It's in the center of your back----**Big WHOOP!!!!"** Wufei checked his rear.....  "Oh dear gawd.... I can feel my ass..." he mumbled to himself.  "Looks like that beam cut real close."  He strolled off to find some clothes.  "I call a time out."

Duo agreed, "Me too!!!!  Must continue to brood--- where are the herbs when you need them!!!!"

"_____________" Heero was also preoccupied.....  with being knocked the fuck out.

Quatre remained still—thinking about the time and effort he put into clothing Heero during his.... 'nude' dilemma.  He REALLY liked that damn shirt and was hoping to......  borrow it someday.  _THIS SUCKS!!!_  Suddenly the rag landed upon his shoulder and he picked it up and balled it in his fist and growled.  "Who did this!?!?  **WHO DID THIS TO THE SHEER SAPHIRE FURY CLUB SHIRT!?!?!?**"

Both Duo and Wufei looked over at Quatre from their separate areas.

"**Damn**, the shirt had a **NAME**?!?!"  Wufei commented as he picked up a dark, formfitting spacesuit from the corner—**NEVERMIND** all the dead bodies lying around.  "Gawd, I hope this isn't stinky!"

Duo began combing through his hair and stated, "You look **really pissed, calm down----"**

"I **AM** PISSED!!!"  Quatre growled.

**THUD!!! (SQUEAK!!!!) Someone decided to show their face!!!**

Wufei and Duo yelled and pointed, **"HE DID IT!!!!  HE DID IT!!!"**

Quatre turned around and saw... "Trowa?!  Trowa, **YOU did this!!!?"  He asked rather loudly.  He held up the remains of the savaged shirt in front of Trowa and yelled, "I can't believe you did THIS!!!!! **Why Trowa---WHY!!!!!**"**

**"..."  Trowa grabbed Quatre's hand and yanked him close.  "Because..... I..... can—****BITCH!!!****"  Trowa shoved Quatre across the room.  He went flying into the control panel of the Disposal Unit.... which happened to be the ENTIRE room!!!**

Suddenly a loud automated voiced blasted over the PA system: **"ATTENTION: THE SPOOKY FACTORY DISPOSAL HAS NOW BEEN ACTIVATED.  PLEASE DISPOSE OF ALL BIO-WASTES AND LEAVE THE ROOM IMMEDIATELY!!!  YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES TO EXIT THE DISPOSAL AREA. I REPEAT...."**

"Hey!!!  Psycho-Mute talks----" Duo screamed, "Oh MY GAAAAWD!!!!!  MY hair will be totally destroyed!!!! We GOTTA get out of here!!!"

Wufei dropped the smelly space suit and decided to just wrap the remains of his clothing around his waist.  He climbed over the various corpses and sniffed the air.  "Hey, I smell... acid... Oh my damn—this place is going to fill up with acid!!!  We gotta get out of here!!!

Wufei and Duo headed towards the only exit---- behind Trowa--- **_(screeEEEEEEch!!!!!)_**

 "Where do YOU think you're going?"  Trowa took out his Tachyon Cannon....

Wufie and Duo clung to each other and screamed like chicks!!!!!!  **"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYE!!!!!!!"**

Trowa hoisted the Cannon over his head and threw it at the two survivors----**SMASH!!!!**

"Don't panic.  It was empty." Trowa teased.  He turned around and headed towards the exit— "...?" The Vinyl-Clad Nightmare was tad surprised to see Quatre standing in front of the exit. **"HSSSSSSSS!!!"**

Quatre's eyes suddenly turned gold.  Zero System Gold.  "I can't allow you to disturb the world of club fashion wear, Trowa."

"?!?!"

Quatre started walking towards Trowa.  "You've been **VERY bad Trowa.  First, you try to kill us—and now you're ruining pimped out shirts---****AND ****I CAN'T TOLERATE THAT!!!!" He roared.  An eerie glow illuminated from Quatre and his hair started going crazy!!!!**

Trowa was startled.  He took a few steps backwards....

Heero popped up behind Trowa and shoved him back towards Quatre.  "Oh, you are SO overdue for an **ASS-KICKING—Go for it!"**

Trowa stumbled towards Quatre, who caught him by the face.  "Thank you, Mr. Yuy." he snarled. **"You SKINNY son-of-a-BITCH!!!!"  Quatre suddenly gut punched Trowa in the stomach.**

"!!!!"  He grunted in pain, faltering to the floor.  He tried to crawl away from Quatre, but the ENRAGED and GLOWING Blonde grabbed Trowa by the gangly legs and pulled him back.

**"AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU!!!!"  Quatre kicked his foot into his crotch and did a knee drop in his gut!!!  ****"You HAVE THE FUCKING NERVE TO GO AROUND BURNING SHIRTS UP!!!!"**

"EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!"  Trowa managed to yell at the top of his lungs!!!!!!!  He rolled to his side and flipped Quatre off of him.  He sat up and punched Quatre square in the eye!!!!  "GRRRRRRRrrrrrr!!!!!"

**"It's NOT just the FUCKING SHIRT, Mr. Barton!!!!!! OH NO!!!!" Quatre grabbed Trowa by the hair and punched him in the nose with the other hand.  "I'm not FINISHED kicking your ass—BITCH!!!"  Quatre lifted Trowa up and dropped him over his knee.  ****"I GO THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT FOR SAVING YOUR GOOFY ASS AND YOU TRY TO KILL ME!!!!"**

Trowa slide off Quatre's knee**--- (Squeeeeeak—THUD!!!) And kicked Quatre in the jaw!!!  He got up and ran over to a pile of dead bodies and threw one of them at him. Quatre punched his fist through the corpse and made a mad dash towards Trowa....**

"!!!!!!?"  Trowa tried to make a run for it---

But Quatre caught and threw him to the floor--- by his neck!!!!!

The Tiny but Ferocious Blonde began slamming his head into the floor. Trowa was getting dizzy after the first few dozen before grabbing hold of one random discarded—dismembered arm and slapped Quatre in the face!!!

**"OWWWWWW!!!!" Quatre hollered. ****"I HAD BETTER THINGS TO DO—Y'KNOW!!!!----OW!! QUIT IT!!!!"**

Meanwhile, Duo, Wufei, and Heero forgot about fighting each other altogether for watching the former allies fight to the death.

"Come on!!!!  Quatre—SNAP HIS NECK!!!!!"  Heero called out.

"Go for the JUGULAR!!!  THE JUGULAR!!!!"

Wufei headed towards the exit.  He saw that the door needed a keycard in order to open.... "Uh.... Guys....?"

Trowa tossed Quatre off of him and flipped to his feet.  After Quatre landed upon the floor—he also flipped to his feet!  

**"HSSSSSSssssssss!!!!"  **

**"ENOUGH OF THE HISSING!!!!  It's time to die!!!!"  Quatre yelled.  He went charging towards Trowa!!!! **"AAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!"****

            "**YOU HAVE 2 MINUTES TO EXIT THE DISPOSAL AREA... I REPEAT..."**

            Wufei went searching through the piles of dead bodies...  "Unless you goes wanna go through an actual ACID WASH—I'd suggest helping me find the damn keycard!!!!"

            Duo and Heero gestured for him to shut up.

            "**Silence!!! This is getting good!!!"  Heero ordered.**

Duo complained, **"YOU'RE RUINING THE FUN!!!!!"**

            "Why am I cursed!!?"

Quatre dodged Trowa's kick. He countered by ducking underneath the taller boy and lifting and tossing him over. Trowa quickly got up and took out his whip---

**WHIPP-O!!!! He slashed at Quatre—striking him in the face!!!!!**

Quatre went to the floor covering his face.  He soon got up and examined his hand--- "B-Blood?  You cut my face, Trowa....."

"Uhm.... that CAN'T possibly be good."  Wufei sighed.  Suddenly a keycard emerged from the decay!!!  "Hey!!!!  I found the KEYCARD—WE CAN ESCAPE!!!!"

"Uhm....  H-he looks crazy!!!!  L-LET'S HIDE!!!!"  Duo stammered before taking cover behind a pile of dead bodies.

"Fuck this!!!"  Heero also took cover behind a pile of dead bodies.

**"I-I Can't BELIEVE you c-cut m-m-my ad-dorable face!!!!"  Suddenly Quatre's whole body turned gold and he started ignited things all round him!!!! ****"W-WHY YOU----YOU-----"**

"**aaaaYH!!! This place full of decay and flammable chemicals is being set on FIRE!!!!!**"  Wufei screamed.  He got up and started running towards the exit.

Heero and Duo got up from behind the now enflamed pile of corpses and headed towards the exit as well...

**"FUCKING COCKTEASE!!!!!"  Quatre squealed at the top of his lungs.**

Trowa blinked.  "....p-pika?!"

Heero, Duo, and Wufei paused.

"WHAT did he just say?!?!"  Heero asked in stupefaction.

Wufei twitched.  "I think he said......cock......tease...."

Duo blurted, "What the hell's a cocktease?!?!?"

"uHHH....  I don't WANT to know...."  Heero frowned.  

**"ROOOOOOOOOAR!!!!"  Quatre pounced upon Trowa, slamming him into the floor.  He grabbed him by the unibang and continuously punched him in the face.....**

"Aaaaaaiye!!!"  Trowa screamed, tried to pry him off.

Wufei, Heero, and a VERY puzzled Duo hurried out of the disposal area... 

Trowa tried to follow after them, but Quatre yanked his lanky ass back to finish beating the ever living shit out of Trowa..... For the remaining 2 minutes.....

**"WHAT'S MY FUCKING NAME, TRICK-BITCH?!?!?!"  Quatre growled as he suddenly began bitch-slapping Trowa!!!!**

**"--------I-I----- ****OOF!!!!  **DON'T**-----****REMEMBER----****OW!!!!"**

Meanwhile on the other side of the door....

            "Should we go in there and break that up?!?"  Duo asked, listening against the door.

            Heero answered quickly, "Hell no. They're HIS friends!" 

            Both mercenaries turned to look at Wufei.

            "...w-WHAT?!??!"  Wufei glared back.  He released a sigh, "Oh.... yeah..... riiiiight."

**(To Be Continued......**

**Further down the page.......**

**HEE-HEE!!!!)**

****

**5:55am. Spooky Factory Bio Weapon Area.**

It's been a while, but a newly reformed and thoroughly ass-kicked Trowa Barton awoke---

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!!!  Get AWAY from MEEEEE!!!!"  Trowa screamed, scooting away from Quatre, who sitting upon the desk next to him.  He fell over the edge and landed on his head. ** "OW!!!!"****

Quatre jumped off the desk and knelt beside him.  "Oh no!!! Mr. Barton!!!!  Let me help you----"

            Trowa scampered away from Quatre, his vinyl covered butt squeaking across the floor in sheer panic.  (***squeeeeak!!***) 

"**Please!!!!!!  Don't hit me, Quatre!!!!  I'm not brainwashed, I swear!!!!  Don't beat the ever-living-shit out of me!!!!"**

            As Quatre tried to go near him, Trowa kept scooting further away.   "I don't understand you—why are you being so scared!?! Why are you saying that?!"

            "Maybe because you DID beat the ever-living-shit out of him a few minutes ago, ASS." Heero announced as he entered the room.

            "Then blacked out...."  Duo added, as he stood near the door next to Heero.

            "I did?!"  Quatre muttered to himself.  "I'd never hurt Trowa, intentionally."

            "Well.... after we dragged you two out of the disposal--- Mr. Barton seemed to have come to his senses..... but you were WELL away from yours."  Heero said.

            "It was funny as hell!!!!"  Duo chuckled.  "Especially the part where you liked pinned him to the floor, AGAIN, and started to strangle him."

            Quatre looked over to Trowa who was STILL trembling in a corner, in utter fear of him.  Oh no! I feel so bad!  He's so scared.  "Trowa?!?  TROWA?!??!"

            "....I want my mommy..... Whoever she is....."

            "Forgive me, Trowa!!!" Quatre called out.  "Wufei and ...hey?!?!  Where's Wufei?!?!"

            "He's in good hands....  uhm... well... it depends...."  Heero smirked.  He took out his Desert Eagle and aimed towards Quatre—Trowa's too scared shitless to be a threat.

            "Not this, again!!!"  Quatre grumbled.  "What the----"

            Duo took out a bazooka and aimed it towards Quatre, "Game is STILL on!  Captain Zechs awaits you!"

            **"ZECHS!!?!?"**


	18. Enter the 6th Wheel?

**Chapter 18**

**Enter the 6th Wheel...?**

**6:10AM. SPOOKY FACTORY. DOCKSIDE...... (****B-but this is in a landlocked state****)**----WHAT-THE-DUDE!?!!?****

            Wufei awoke and noticed.... he was STILL wearing his makeshift...... diaper.  He looked around and noticed he was in an office. He got up from the office chair and walked around.  Wufei approached the door and overheard a voice.....

            "What do we have here?  Two of my former subordinates ready and willing to help Parasol with their need for specimens....."

            Wufei recognized that creepy voice from anywhere.  _Captain Zechs!!!!  He's ALIVE??!?!_

            Quatre's voice broke Wufei's thought.  "You asshole!!!  We are NOT willing to do ANYTHING for you or Parasol.  We are MORE than ready to kick your ass!!!!"

            Zechs laughed, "Really?  It looks like Trowa is ready to get away from you.  Besides, you two and that bitchy Wufei would be perfect samples for the next Parasol project."

            _Bitchy?!?!  ME?!?! _Wufei quickly glanced around the office for a weapon or something.  They obviously expected him to stay out longer than this....  _I've got to do SOMETHING!!!!_

            Meanwhile, Heero and Duo hauled the two Preventers towards a cargo boat.  Zechs headed towards the office to deal with Wufei...  As the Platinum Haired Traitor entered the office he was suddenly ambushed by Wufei with an office chair in the face----

            "What was that?"  Heero called out.  He looked towards the office and saw that the lights went out.  

            As soon as they finished dumping and locking the Preventers inside the cargo area of the ship, Heero and Duo left the ship to check on Zechs.

            When they approached the office door, Zechs walked out.  Although he looked a tad roughed up.....  and a bit shorter.....

            "UHM..... Mr. Zechs?"  Heero stared.  "Are you okay?

            Duo also noticed how odd Zechs looked.  "Where's Wu-Wu?!"

            _gRRRRR__....."He tried to attack me. I had to kill him......  I snapped his little neck.  Don't worry..... you 're still getting paid, boys.  Now.... let's go." Zechs ordered the boys to operate the ship._

            Heero and Duo looked at each other and shrugged.   

            **6:30am PARASOL CARGO SHIP.  Main deck.**

            Time was of the essence.  Wufei HAD to find a way off the ship and to safety before all hell breaks loose. He left the main deck to have a look around...

            "Zechs?"

            "What!!!  I mean yes?"

            Heero spoke, "We've approached the other side of the artificial beach and have now docked to a refueling area."

            Zechs nodded.  "Excellent."

            Heero stood there.  "Sir?"

            "I said excellent.  You did excellent—You get bonuses!"

            "Do you want us to re-fuel the chopper aboard the ship and put the specimens in it or what?"

            "Yes!"

            "Hn...."  Heero arched his brow and spoke.  "I'll get to it, Zechs."

            "Right."  _Wait a minute!?!?  A chopper?!?!  I can operate those_!!!  "Let's go."

            "Don't you have to make some calls to some Swiss Bank accounts?"  Heero reminded.

            "Oh.... yes."  _He's on to me---better seem authenti_c.  "Don't forget, you also have to deal with Duo."

            Heero froze.  "But you said, I didn't have to kill him, sir."

            "Uhm....  welll..... I STILL need 3 specimens for this..... uhm.... experiment.  So get to it.......  A-AFTER you work on that chopper.  GOT IT!??"

            Heero reluctantly replied, "Yes.... sir.  Got it."  He left the main deck.

**Meanwhile—Just outside the Main Deck.******

Duo was aghast.  "I am like SO fucking aghast!!!"  He said.  He took off running before Heero could make it around the corner.

Heero approached the corner.  "Hn?"

**6:35am****.**** Inside the Cargo area.**

"Tr-Trowa!!! Stop running!!!  We have to get out of here!!!"  Quatre huffed chasing after Trowa within the tiny cargo bay.  "Will you STOP the FUCKING RUNNING—No!!!  Sorry!  Sorry!  I mean please---- GOT YOU!!!"

**SQUEAK!!!! He tackled Trowa slamming him to the floor. The Unibanged Preventer was too frantic to outmatch Quatre's weight pinning him---- maybe it's the cookies....**

**"Oh gawd!!!!****  GAWD!!!!! NO!! NO!!!  DON'T HURT ME—PLEASE!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYE!!!!  waaaaaa-aaaaaah...."**

"What the HELL did I do to you?!" Quatre sighed in annoyance.  This was his entire fault... somehow. "Come on, Trowa—we need to work together!"

Trowa continued bawling like a toddler.  "**Get off!!!!  Get off of me!!!!  You—You monster!!!!!"**

Quatre protested, "What the hell is your problem!!!?  Come on, Let's work together!! We have to do this... HEAVEN'S sake---- this doesn't sound right...  Hey, stop wriggling---- **NO, SERIOUSLY—STOP!!!"**

"AHEM—Uhm I don't mean to interrupt the loving—but WE ALL need to get the hell off this crazy boat!"  Duo announced.

Quatre stood up and argued, "Get your mind out of the gutter!!! He's my superior!!!" He pointed to the teen scampering away,towards a dark corner. "Trowa?"

"Not from where I'm standing, dude."  Duo shook his head and tossed Quatre a gun.  "But—HEY!!!  Ass on the field—play ball..... (or should I make that plural?)."

"Piss off..." Quatre rolled his eyes and aimed his gun at Duo.  "Wait a minute!  WHY are YOU tossing ME a gun?"

Trowa eyed the magnum in Quatre's hand.  "H-Hey!! I want a gun, too."

Both guys ignored the Vinyl-Clad Preventer and continued their conversation.

Duo confessed, "Okay—I was a TOTAL ASS!!!  I REALLY thought Heero was my frin!!!"

            "And?!?"  Quatre gestured.

            "Heero's going to kill me like Zechs ordered."  Duo confessed. "I-I thought we were gonna take all the money and dip---"

            "We: as in YOU and HEERO?!?"  Quatre retorted.  "You mean you and Heero were gonna leave us to fucking DIE?!?!"

            "Well?!!!"  Trowa added.  "Jack-ASS!" 

            Quatre and Duo stared at Trowa.

            "Are.... you..... okay... now..... Mr. Barton?"  Quatre gawked.

            Trowa scratched his head and mumbled.  "I think so...."  Then he took a look at his attire---" WHAT THE FUCK am I wearing??"

            _The HELL should we know....._

            "....?" Duo and Quatre blinked several times before continuing their dialogue.

            "ANYway---- You had it all wrong, Mr. Winner.  Heero said he was gonna hijack the ship and chopper from Zechs."

            "R-really....?" _Wow, maybe my little talk with him in the elevator must've convinced his heart.  "Was it because of the situation at the hospital?!?!"_

            "No,dude."  Duo admitted. 

            "Oh...."  _Jerk...._

 "After the hospital incident he wanted to smash your face in and leave you to rot and die---- ESPECIALLY Wufei. It was I who begged and pleaded for you lives----- not to mention a shaken can of this!!!" Duo held out a glowing can of Satanic Pete's Billowing Brimstone Chili DELUXE (With even MORE goat meat and lard).

            "Whoa!!!  Get it away!"  Quatre staggered back. "Were those sulfuric fumes?!?"

            Trowa also stepped away and hid back in the dark corner.

            Duo spoke, "Hey!!!  Hey!!! It won't explode if I stuff it in my backpack!!!"  He stuffed the overheating can back into his backpack.

            "Oh.... 'kay.....?!?!"  Quatre asked, "So.... are we escaping or what?"

            "Oh!  YEAH!!!!  Come on!!!"  Duo headed towards the cargo ladder.  "Follow me."

**6:39am****.**** Outside the Cargo Storage. Ship's Deck.**

            Trowa was the last to emerge from the Cargo Storage, when the newly (re)formed team overheard someone on deck. They all took cover behind some boxes, to see who it was. Judging from the vast darkness and pale moonlight---- they could make out a shadow....??!?

            The shadow stalked toward the control deck of the ship. It made a wet sound.  SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!  slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh!!!!  SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!! SPLAT!!!!! *spit continuously hits the computer screen as the author makes this very sound* **(Author's note: I've played Shadow Hearts---the creepiest AND GOOFIEST scene—EVAR!!!)**

            "What the **HELL** is THAT?!?!"  Quatre mouthed rather loudly.

            The shadow's attention instantly went to the trio's hiding area.

            "......!!!!"  Trowa grunted. **(Translation: Shut-up, FUCK-TARD!!!)**

            "Oh great just led the thing to us!!!"  Duo grunted.  "I thought I was to goofy one."  Without warning he emerged from behind the boxes and took aim.  "Let's get it on then--- DIE!!!"

            The shadow shouted, "WAIT!!!  It's me, Zechs!!!!  Your boss!!!  The guy who's going to pay you money for bringing me the Preventers--- WHAT are you laughing at?!

            Duo could barley speak through the tremendous bouts of laughter.  "What the hell.. happened to you----**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"**

            The tall... and now BALD and half naked Zechs Marquise stood defiant--- glaring viciously at Duo.  "STOP laughing at me you retard, and back me up---Wufei took my hair and clothes--- SHUT THE FUCK UP, Mr. Maxwell.  We gotta find him—He could ruin everything!!!"

"**AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  Suddenly a tug at his leg cut his hysterics.  "Whaaa?!?!"**

            Quatre and Trowa were still in hiding.  "Wait!!!  Wufie is ALIVE?!!?!  WE HAVE TO---"

            Zechs got suspicious, "Hey! Who's down there!?!  (Are you being held hostage?)"

            "uH?!?"

            "Stop playing dumber!!!  Duo, is that Preventer Chang down there?!?!"  He started walking towards Duo.

            Duo aimed his gun at Zech's bald head.  "Nah yo!  Outta my face!"

            "If you want that money you BETTER let me see what's going on."  He pulled out a gun and aimed it towards Duo. 

            "Ewe!!"  Duo gagged.  "Where did you pull that from?"

            "Uhm... editing mistake?!"  Zechs stammered.

            "How about you're a REALLY nasty man?" Heero intervened pointing at gun at the back of Zech's head.  "Duo, what are you doing here?"  He asked calmly, glaring at Zechs.

            "DON'T worry about that, Mr. Yuy."  Quatre remarked as he too loomed out of nowhere with a gun pointed at Heero's backside.  " Wanted to leave ME to die, AYE? Don't make ANY rash movements!"

            "You got it ALL wrong, Mr. Winner."  Trowa spoked, as he too, appeared out of nowhere pointing a gun to Heero's head.  "You aim for the head—Either way he's not going to be much of a problem."

            (????)

            "NOT so fast--- You Vinyl Clad Freak Show!  You think I'd carry ONE friggin gun!?"  Heero smirked—aiming a second gun to Trowa's face.  "I REALLY don't like you, Squeaky."

            Trowa growled.

            "AHA!!!"  Duo laughed, he aimed a second gun. "I ALWAYS carry two--- GET it?!?!  Get it!?!? HAHAHAHA!!!"

            Heero rolled his eyes and muttered, "Duo..."

            Duo stopped cackling, "What, dude?"

            "You're aiming the gun at **your head, Duo."  Heero reminded him.**

            "Oh **SNAP!!!!  I always get confused when I pull out two guns—Don't know where to aim and what to shoot... Ha-ha!" He then aimed his second gun at Heero.**

            "...baka...."  Heero sighed in annoyance.

            "At least I won't get it wrong!"  Duo emphasized aiming two guns at Heero's head—he could barley see for all the guns. 

            "Thanks, I mean it." Heero uttered in aggravation. ....You _horse's ass..._

            "Take this!"  Zechs pulled a second gun out of....  somewhere (cuz he's ONLY wearing bikini underwear)----  and aimed it at Duo.  "I guess I have to do this ALL by myself—The DEAL is off!!!"

            "EWE!!! What's that SMELL?!?!" Duo freaked out!!!

            "sHUT- UP!!" Zechs yelled.  "I'll blow your fucking head off!!!"

            "Zechs is a **NASTY** man!"  Heero spoke out--- "He's a **DIRTY** man!"

            He suddenly aimed his second gun at Heero (How many guns is that now?).  "WHY you!!!!"

            "Ugh... doesn't that hurt?!"  Trowa asked. He suddenly aimed his gun at Zechs figuring Heero was dead either way.... not to mention he wanted his opponent to see what the hell he was aiming at.

            "Grrr..."

            "WELL, he DID hide 2 of them?"  Quatre uttered.

            "Curse you, albino freak!!!"  Zechs switched his gun to The Blonde Terror.

"**Daaaaaamn!!!"  Duo gasped. "I can't imagine **ONE**--- but **TWO**?!?!"**

            "He probably screamed.........  like jailbird BITCH!"  Heero grinned behind a wall of gun barrels. _I can't see shit....._

            "**IT DIDN'T HURT!!! YOU rat bastards!!!!" Zechs shouted.**

            "Wow... freakish...." Trowa muttered.

            "**Daaaaaaamn**!!!!"  Duo repeated.

            "......Hn.... I was ALL wrong, he took it like a pro.... " Heero responded, with a hint of humor.

            "I think I'm going to be sick...." Quatre choked.

            "I think I'm going to have to shoot ALL of you fuck-tards to hell if you don't **SHUT-THE-HELL-UP!!!!"**

            "What's with the Screwy Mexican Stand-Off?!"  Wufei----er Zechs called out.  "Did you two fix my chopper or what?!?"

            "Wu-Wufei?!?!"  Quatre gasped.  

            "What's on your head?!"  Trowa asked.

            Zechs went pale and was mortified, "M-m-my h-h-h-hair......"

            "Hn.....  I KNEW something was DIFFERENT!!!  THAT'S why you ordered Duo dead!!!"  Heero shouted.  He aimed BOTH guns at Wufei!!!  "You Goonie!!!"

            "W-wha?!?!  You don't wanna kill me?!"  Duo asked, dropping his aim, relieved.  "WHOOO!!!  Great!!! Let's escape with the Preventers and ditch the clown, and take the money--- Hey!!! What's a Goonie?!"

            'OH gawd!!! NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN--- Forget about him!!!  Let's escape!!!!"  Quatre argued.  "Heero's a deranged lunatic!!!"

            Duo was torn, "Yeah I know but.....Wh-what's a Goonie?"

            Heero retorted at Quatre—ignoring Duo, "And Leather Butt ISN'T?!"

            "**EX-CUSE me!!! It's vinyl!"  Trowa corrected him. "JACK-A-NAPE!!!" He suddenly gasped and looked around. _What's happening to me....  that was SO 'Queer as Folk' just now....  It's this ship---- The ship is making me GAY!!!!_**

**(Author's note: No offense--- Christian or not--- That show ROCKS!!!)**

Zechs felt left out, he still had his guns aimed at two of the random boys.  "Uhm... I don't mean to be rude, but I have guns and **I'M THE VILLAIN!!!!!" He suddenly yanked the defenseless and stupefied Duo by the braid and held him hostage. "Don't move--- I'll shoot him!!!**

            The Braided Himbo was too excited over being frins with Heero..... AGAIN to give a care. "Dude!!!  Are we cool?!?  We straightl?!?! We down like 'dat!!!  We dawgs?!?!"  

            Heero hissed, "Duo, **SHUT-UP**!!! I NEVER turned on you -----I saved YOUR life--- you saved MINE---"  He aimed his guns at Zechs and ordered, "Let him go—**BALDY**—why don't you pull that stunt on ME!!!"

            "**Hell YEAH!!!" Duo shouted as he was being dragged off. "Kick his **ASS**!!! **Ghetto-Style!!!**"**

            "Hn?" 

            Quatre grumbled, "I saved YOUR BLOODY life, TOO!!!" He argued at Heero. Quatre aimed his gun at Zechs!  He warned, "Come on Captain Zechs----"

Trowa snapped—TOTALLY ignoring Zechs,Duo, and Heero's situation "Oh, so now you're vying for Heero's attention?  And what about me?! I thought I was the main purpose of your mission, Quatre?" _I thought you LOVED me----- WHAT?!_

Zechs growled, "Uhm....Oh yeah!!!!  I'm taking Mr. Jansport with me!!!"

            Heero cringed at the sudden flashback. _Damnit__, Duo--- Tell the FUCKING world....._

Wufei he-bitched at the Lanky Preventer, "Oh shut the fuck up Trowa!!! IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, TRICK!" **_Quatre's_****_ MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE!!! MINE----__Uhm_.... My fr-friend--- That's it..... __****What's GOING ON in MY HEAD?!?!**

Zechs blinked several times, "Uh.. guys.... I have a hostage..."

Duo added, "Yeah!!!  YOU---- kicking OUR asses throughout the ENTIRE fanfic!!!!"

"...And a GUN?"  The Former Platinum-Haired Preventer kept fighting for attention—and was LOSING badly. 

_What are YOU talking ABOUT?!?!_  Quatre frowned looking around suspiciously. _Fanfic__—What the bloody hell??!?_

Trowa put his gun away and argued in a calm low voice, "Oh give me a break!!! I was brainwashed!!!!  I wasn't at my FULL potential--- You **motherfuckers** need to work out some more like me....

"There you go again--- ALL about YOU—**Frigid Ice King-Bitch!"  Wufei hissed. _You think you're **ALL THAT** with your cute little catwoman costume—I'd look 100 times _****BETTER-----Doh!!!**

"..." _FRIGID......I'm not... frigid...._Trowa pouted. _I have **FEELINGS** damnit!!!!_

"**GRRR......"  Zechs had his fill—he was getting attention—SOMEHOW!!! That's it I'm shooting you!"**

Duo cringed, "Uh....  guys...... help please!!!!"

Heero concured, "**THIS WHOLE FRIGGIN NIGHT** was **ALL ABOUT YOU!!! I don't know ****WHO was MORE of a ****PAIN in the ASS: ****YOU or the ****GAWD-DAMN ARCHFIEND----"**

**"GWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!"******

**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYH!!!!!"  Zechs and Duo shouted."****The**** ARCHFIEND---- THE ARCHFIEND!!!!" they voted.**

"**Oh..........FUCK........me**..." Heero groaned.


End file.
